How long does it take men to heal from a break-up?

Question

A guy I have feelings for recently moved out of his home when he found out his girlfriend cheated on him, and ended the relationship.

Recently, I posted a new profile photo on facebook and he sent me a message out of the blue that said "you're prettier than ever." I'm thinking of asking him if he'd like to get together for lunch and catch up (it has been years since we've seen each other).

So my questions are: Do men need a lot of time to heal from a break-up or are they open to new possibilities even while still grieving the ended relationship? And secondly, what's a guy's motivation for telling a girl she looks "prettier than ever."

Please no pigeon holing/generalizations! There's more than one possibility, and I'm interested in your take on this. Thanks so much.

Answer 1

Depends on the guy really, most men will probably hide their feelings of hurt

Answer 2

It really depends on the person. It sounds like he is starting to heal because it sounds like he is searching for a new girlfriend. If he wrote something like that in your facebook, then he is telling you that he is interested in you . Since he lost his first girlfriend you are probably looking more attractive than ever now that he is a free man.

Answer 3

Really, there is no specific time period men need to recover. They do, however, seem to recover faster. My theory about this is that men tend to see the reality of the relationship before women. A man might sense that it is over long before having the courage to speak up, whereas a woman is more likely to hold on for dear life. Now, this is a total generalization, but just something I've observed in relationships around me over the years. I, myself, was always the one to sense just where to relationship was headed- but then again, I tend to credit myself with "manly" thinking, haha. It's up to each individual. It certainly sounds like he's trying to start something up with you. My advice is proceed with caution; the whole rebound scenario and all. But, take things slowly and make sure he's saying these things because he's interested in YOU, not because he's just feeling lonely.

Answer 4

Every man is different. I know guys who can go through no grieving period what so ever and I know another guy who has been hung up on the same girl for two years.

His message probably meant exactly what it said. He thinks you're pretty. I don't believe there is any hidden message. Guys are usually pretty straight forward with their feelings and thoughts, where as women are always hinting.

I think you could ask him out, but it might make you the rebound girl. I don't know if he was in a serious relationship or if it was still some what new.

Just let him know you are there for him no matter what. If he opens up to you that will be way more intimate than any rebound s*x could ever be:)

Answer 5

It takes 6 months to start healing from a death of a loved one, one year, if the loss is stronger.  A break up IS a death of sorts, and should be treated as such.  Good Luck....