How long does it take to get over the death of an young daughter?

Question

My 9 year old daughter and still I have not found a way of getting over the pain of her passing on. She was a special needs child and she was my angel. I feel like theres no tomorrow and I want everything just to stop for me. If I could just go back to that day one more time I might be able to move on. She passed on in her sleep.

Answer 1

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry for you. I can't imagine how much pain you are in right now. The absolute truth of the matter is you more than likely will never ever get over the death of your daughter. It's a very hard loss, I think it's one of the worst losses a person could take. The pain will never actually go away, but you will get stronger and you will be able to stand up on your own two feet again (emotionally speaking) Think about what your daughter would want. Would she want you to be forever looking back wondering what might have been? no, she would want you to live on, doing things that make you happy, and you will be happy again someday. Live on, that's the way to honor your daughter, do things and just make the most out of life. This is an example on how life is so short that you shouldn't waste away looking back at the past, look to the future and know that your daughter is looking down on you smiling and having fun with you. Whatever you do, do not think that if you could go back to that day one more time you would be able to move on, because you wouldn't. If that were actually possible you would want to go back again and again, that's what is meant by 'living in the past' don't do that. Honor your daughter and live in the present.

Answer 2

You will never fully get over the pain of losing a child but your pain may lessen as time passes and you will one day be able to enjoy happiness in your life again. You need to do two things right now; talk to someone about your feelings intently (a counselor, therapist, or your pastor or priest if you have one). Also, be strong for your daughter. Don't hide your feelings from her of course but don't run your grief to her... she's too young to handle it. Joining a group for parents who have lost children can help as well so you can share your grief with others.

Just take it one day at a time and have faith.

Answer 3

I give you my best condolences and it makes me cry at the pain you are experiencing. Since she wasn't a baby really, you had many good moments with her. The best thing to do is concentrate on the excellent, fun moments she had with you, though you'll never completely get over it, like many have already said. The best thing to do is pray to God to help you find closure. You'll eventually get over it, but you need your grieving time. There's nothing to do but wait it out and just be with your loved ones. Once again, I'm sorry and know God will help you through it and he's with her in heaven. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

I don't see how a parent ever gets over it. You learn to cope, the pain lessens, and you learn to not tear up at the thought of her. She'll always be in your heart, just like she should be. It does sound like you need to go to councelling to worth through the pain and guilt. Irregardless of how she died, most parents tend to blame themselves, at least some. Talking to someone will help you learn to deal with your grief and not let it overwhelm you anymore.

Answer 5

I don't think that you ever totally get over something like that. the fact that she was a special needs child probably makes it harder because there was more to her care than other children. the only comfort that I can give you is that where she is now she has no special needs...and someday you will see her again.

Answer 6

I am also the mother of an angel. My daughter died a year and half ago and I have cried every single day. Time does not

heal all wounds. You will never get over losing a child, you just learn to live with it. You are going through the normal stages of grief. My heart feels for you because I know how my

heart aches for my daughter. I just try to think of my daughter

being in heaven and being happy, but nothing ever truly stops

the pain and yearning for your child.

I am sorry for your lost and I hope it helps knowing you are

not along in your suffering.

Answer 7

I am so very sorry for your loss. They say losing a child is one of the hardest things to ever get thru. I wish you the best and hopefully you will find a way to work thru all these emotions overtime, but give it time. It takes a lot of time to even get to where you are not crying.

Answer 8

We never truly get over death we just learn how to deal with the change it has brought our lives. Try to commemorate her in a special way that will keep you connected. Look to friends and family to carry you through the pain until you can come to accept the way your life has changed  It's obviously hard but there are support groups and millions of people who have lived through the same thing as you.

Answer 9

Im so sorry to hear that my love the truth is you will never get over the pain of your daughter.im not a mom and my lil cuz of 3 1/2 passed away dec.4 three weeks before his 4th b-day and its been 7 months and i still cry everyday like it wa yesterday.so imagine you that she was your child.the only thing that will happen is you will learn to accept the fact that she is in a better place but you will never get over the pain. best wishes you have me crying may god bless you and your family and your angel may her soul rest in peace

Answer 10

First off ((HUGS)) and prayers. I don't think you will ever get over it. You will learn to live with it though. I would suggest a support group to help you. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine anything as hard as losing your child. I have an aunt who had her 3 year old daughter pass away and she has learned to accept it and still live her life but she has never gotten over it. She has gone to a counselor and a support group and it helped.

Answer 11

I am sorry for your loss it wont ever go away she is your baby your air and blood life you created she lives through you and the memories you keep and share with others talk to her pray ask god to hold her and keep her happy and you will be happy I hope I have gave you some comfort...god bless

Answer 12

I lost my infant daughter 4 years ago, who also had special needs. To this day, the grieving has not ended. I did not go back to work for 4 months afterwards. I understand the pain you are in, and it is not an easy road. I was not able to bond with my daughter as long as you did, but I did lose her.

What a blessing for God to give you 9 wonderful years with her. Even though you probably spent most of your time trying to care for her special needs, it was beautiful, right? You got to spend much more time with your daughter caring for her, than many get to spend who have their children in daycare all day.

When my daughter died, I felt selfish. All I could think about was how I felt and what I was going through, and what I wanted to do. The hospital she was born in paid for all her funeral costs, and her headstone. But nothing healed me better than being able to be by myself and deal with it how I wanted - by wallowing and moaping.

I was very selfish when my daughter died and thought nothing was more important than me feeling better again. After several months, I realized that my daughter was in a better place. She was no longer suffering, and would live easily in heaven.

It's hard for me now, because we got pregnant shortly after my baby blue's period. Our son is almost 3, and won't ever have his older sister. It's something that I know I will never "get over". I will never stop crying, I will never stop wanting her back. She was my first born, and was also our little angel - it's what it says on her gravestone. The pain will never go away, but it will ease. The tears will never stop, but they will slow. The only thing that stopped my selfishness in wanting her back was knowing that she is better off in heaven.

The only thing that helped me move on was letting time run it's course. If you try to occupy yourself too much, or to forget the pain, it will never go away. You have to deal with the situation as it is right now and remember that she loved you. She passed on peacefully and was not in pain.

I am so sorry for your loss; but happy that your daughter no longer has special needs, and is resting peacefully now without a care in the world.

Answer 13

I am so so so sorry to hear this. I bet she meant the world to you. In my opinion of I lost a loved one, I would never get over it. But I would keep on moving and not let it hold me back. Again I'm so sorry and I'm sure she is safe in Heaven.