How long does it take to mentally get over being raped?

Question

i was 14. i'm now 20. it still messes up my relationships. and my mental health i guess. if more details need to be added, i'll add. this is a secondary account, so i have nothing to hide.

thanks for any helpful advice.

please, if you're going to be insensitive, move on to another question.

Answer 1

Hi.  I am sorry this happened to you.  It can take a VERY long time to recover from being raped.  It ruins your trust, your feeling of safety and control and you fear relationships.

Many rape victims get Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  The requires therapy to overcome.  The therapy can take MANY years to work through everything.  It is not a quick fix.

Oh yeah, people that say "it's the past, get over it" have NO idea what it is like.  That is one of the most insensitive remarks people can say.

Answer 2

You really need to go talk to a professional. Sexual assault can cause PTSD, and it's affects can last years. Start off with therapy and consider meds to help your mental health get better. Go to the nearest hospital and they'll help you out.

Answer 3

Tou will never get over, bur you can learn to cope through talking to or working with others who have been through the same experience.  Your doing well by reaching out now!

Answer 4

You need professional help...which is not here. I am so sorry, that I can not offer anything else...please...get PROFESSIONAL HELP!! Check in your area for a rape counselor and go from there.  

Answer 5

Unfortunately, that kind of thing is permanent, sorry. But you should try to get your mind off of it. Tell others how you feel, etc.

Answer 6

So sorry for you. Try to move on, really. Make yourself have fun, some horrible person took advantage of you, think positively and put some trust in your relationship. Try some therapy and talk it out with the current person you are dating, im sure he will promise to never hurt you in that way. Hope you feel better about it, the only one who can truly fix the way you feel is you.

Answer 7

A previous post follows: Go to:  http://vaonlinesupport.org/support.html & http://www.rape-victim-support.com/  & http://www.rainn.org/ & http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk & http://www.aftersilence.org &

http://www.pandys.org  Call (USA)1 800 656 HOPE and/or People Against Rape (USA) on 1 800 877 7252. View http://www.coolnurse.com/hotline.htm (US freecalls). Report the rape to the police as soon as possible: don't even shower (even though you may feel an overwhelming urge to clean yourself), and save all clothing, and anything else which may be contain DNA, or forensic clues. Many perpetrators are brought to justice this way, and removed from society, so that they can't inflict themselves on others.  

    An entry will be made in the sexual offenders computer database, so that anyone making a complaint in future will be believed. Also, the fresher your memory of the events, and description, the better. It may help to have a friend, or relative with you, to provide support, at this time. The very fact that you have done all you can reasonably do, is often an important first step in the healing process.  

    You don't have to testify in court, if you don't want to. Your statement, the results of tests, etc., are often sufficient by themselves, but, if you are feeling able to cope, your testimony is often helpful to the prosecution, and personally cathartic, although many, quite understandably, prefer to avoid any additional stress. Depending on your area, there may be rape crisis centers, hotlines, or women's refuges/shelters where you can receive counselling. Some find further therapy helpful, later on. Be aware of the possibility of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well. Flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty sleeping, and just staring blankly for long periods of time are some symptoms. For more PTSD info, treatments, and links, see http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on pages 33 - 34. Professional EMDR is the best therapy for this.

  just keep in mind that it is not your fault, there are just ****** up people out there. That is the only thing that can get you through. Just know that you are beautiful and you did not deserve it but to be strong and get past it, do not dwell on it. Just let it go and forgive the person, as hard as it is. That is the best advise I have. ~~~

Did you go to the police? They'll usually tell you a therapist or counselor to go to.

EDIT...There's something called "secondary wounding". Hope you haven't had to go thru it. It's like when you try to talk to people about it and they don't believe you or say it was your fault or say "I believe YOU believe it happened." ie..they don't believe it. Get you some books from the library. Be careful about who you tell.

EDIT...I think there's a rape crisis phone number you can call.HERE IT IS..

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), or you can search for your local rape crisis center.Or GOOGLE :RAINN for more info.

(I'm pretty sure this hasn't happened to "Stephanie E.".)

Find the nearest rape crisis center and go see them. They are experienced and will understand and help you through this.

  Find a counselor, a support group, someone trained to assist rape victims. You're right, sometimes it's not enough just to talk about it, but if you talk about it with a counselor or someone who's trained to help rape victims or even other rape victims who have been helped by a counselor, they will know how to really hear what you are saying and they will know what to say back. Most people don't get what it means to be raped. They think it's just that someone forced s*x onto you. Please, look for womens health, women's advocacy, something along those lines in your area. If you don't find what you need, I bet what you find will know where to send you. I wish you well, and if you need help finding support, please contact me and I will help you.  

  Being a rape survivor I found the best way to deal with it was to talk about it and to find a rape survivors group and talk to them. Most big hospitals have them and if you're in small town there are rape survivors groups on line. I know that it's hard but you have to remember that it's not your fault. The only person that's to blame is the person who perpetrated the assault. Other than the death of someone you love this might be the hardest thing that you have to deal with. I know that it's very hard but it can be done I know I've done it. Reach out for all the support that you can get and don't not talk about it. You will never forget it, but you can learn to live with it and be happy again. It will take time and energy but It can be done.

Good luck and if you need someone to talk to email me.  

  This helped me. Write a letter to the perpetrator. Start with just the facts what happened 2nd how it made you feel then last what you would like to do to him/them(you know what I mean). Put it away and take it out and read it once and awhile until it makes you so sick you can't even read it any more. It is now time to get rid of this part of you life and move on. You can get rid of it anyway you'd like. I'm going to burn mine. I'm going to go to the closest spot to where it happened and burn it. I think the best part of it all is when you write what you would do to them. I hope this helps and be strong. It wasn't your fault.  

    hey hun i'm really sorry, i'm going though the same thing. i have no support, my family thinks its in my head. If you need to talk i'm here [e-mail] If you call RAINN they will help you and they have avocates that will help you and they are really suppotive. I call them alot, they don't mind even though its really hard for me, to call them bc i feel like i'm brothing them. but i know that is what they are there for and i just have to keep tellin my self that. i'm always here if you need to talk. I hope you are ok, hang in there. please email if you need ANYTHING

Answer 8

its different for every person but therapy will help getting over it

Answer 9

Thank God he did not kill you! You poor baby, I feel for you. I think the best answer is to talk, talk talk until you drain those poisonous memories of their power. Talk to a friend, or a hotline, or in a chat room or to a relative. But talk is the key....the more you get those bad memories out, the less power they will have to hurt you. I hope you soon feel better. Give therapy another chance and maybe find a support group of other rape survivors to meet with. Be well...I am sending good thoughts your way.