How long is the adoption process?

Question

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and have 2 of own beautiful girls 2 1/2 and 6 months. When he is close to graduating law school (in about 3 years) we want to adopt. I wanted to know how long the process is so we know when we should start. We are a loving family that want to ad another child to our family. We want to have at least one more pregnancy, but would love to adopt one or two children as well. We strongly believe every child should have a loving home with parents. My sister in law was adopted, but never really treated like "one of family" she was just "the other one" my husband loves her and is absolutly her brother, sadly this is not the case with the rest of the family even though they say it is. When we adopt this child WILL be one of our own.

I really want to know how long the process is (from anywhere) and about how much the total cost of adoption is.

We are open to adopting from the US or anywhere else!

Answer 1

Just remember, that for the adoptee, the ramifications last a lifetime.

Sadly, attitudes like those of your in-laws do persist, and if they treated his sister in such a way, chances are they will treat any child you adopt the same way, too.

Adoptees can be very sensitive to this type of treatment...even if you try to shelter them from it, they will perceive it and it will affect them.

And no child you adopt will truly be "your own".  Please also understand that an adopted child was born to different people, and will always carry some part of those people with him/her...such as personality traits, talents, likes/dislikes, etc.  Even people adopted as newborns will display these.  I hope you are prepared to honor those differences and allow your adopted child to be who he/she is, and not try to make him/her "your own".

Answer 2

I don't understand why adopting an infant would be unethical, especially if it is domestic. I have friends that were adopted as infants domestically, and they were given up for adoption under normal reasons by the birth parent.  My husband was adopted as a foster child, but he was an infant when this happened, maybe two weeks old. He, too, has had no problems with it and recognizes his adopted family as his only real family.

It's unfortunate that your sister-in-law wasn't treated as a real family member. That doesn't seem fair or right, but it also happens to kids who weren't adopted too. It happens to kids who are step-children, foster children, children who are products of rape, ect. It's very very sad, and I am happy to hear that your husband feels you sister in law is his real sister.

The time frame varies greatly based on a number of factors, so does the cost. Agency and private adoptions can range from $5,000 to $40,000 or more depending on a variety of factors including services provided, travel expenses, birthmother expenses, requirements in the state, and other factors. International adoptions can range from $7,000 to $30,000. The time frame can be anywhere from a couple months to over a year.

Answer 3

The adoption process can be long and hard.  Sometimes, however, it is as short as 6 months.  My parents waited 4 years for me.  (however, I was an international adoptee.)  My parents waited about a year for my sister.  (She was adopted from the States.)  

That's too bad that your sister-in-law never felt like 'one of the family'.  My siblings and I have ALWAYS felt like one of the family.  I'm the only asian in my family of caucasian members. :) It was fun to grow in.  

Oh and the total cost of adoption varies between agencies and lawyers.  You'll definitely want a lawyer.  Trust me!! :)

Answer 4

Wow, you seriously need to get a clue.  Someone comes in with experience, tells you the TRUTH about adoption, and you freak out on them?  Please don't adopt.  No seriously, PLEASE don't.  Adoptees deserve better than someone who just shuts out reality and won't deal with the facts.  If you adopt through unethical means, your kid WILL know, and she or he WILL hate you.

Answer 5

Sometimes only months, other times up to a year. (Remember the Madonna controversy when she got that baby boy from Africa in no time at all because she was famous?) It's usually longer when it's international, too.

Hope this helps!

Answer 6

If your extended family is not open to your adoption, please do not put another adoptee through that.  It was hard for your SIL, it's going to be just as hard for your child.  It sucks royally to not be accepted.

Infants rarely need new homes - their mothers could care for them just fine if they had some extra support.  Please don't go that route.  It's rarely ethical or necessary.  International adoption is a mess - some countries have baby farms, other countries sell babies on the black market...you have no idea if your baby was kidnapped from his/her parents to be sold to a "wealthy" American family, or if the parents gave the child up legitimately - and even if they DID give the child up legitimately, you don't know if it was just because of poverty (no family should be separated just because of money).  In addition to all the ethical concerns in domestic infant, and international adoption, the cost is outrageous, and mainly serves to line the pockets of those who DO NOT have any ethical intent behind their baby selling ventures.

Foster care adoption, however, is free in most states, and the children in foster care DO need new families, and in most states, you can be pretty much guaranteed the child was removed from his/her original home for good reason (i.e. poverty and judgmental societal views didn't come into play).  After doing some recent research into foster care adoption wait times, I'm learning that it's not uncommon to wait 1-2 years after your homestudy is approved, regardless of the age, ethnicity, race, or special needs you are asking for.  It took my husband and I 8 months to complete the process up to the homestudy approval, and we have been waiting over a year and a half for placement.  We started the process in March of 2006.  That time frame is NOT guaranteed (i.e. it could take less time), but it's pretty common.  SOME families get a placement right out of the gate, and some families are chosen within a few months.  It also helps if you're willing to be foster parents, or if you provide respite care for foster families.

After learning what I have about the other forms of adoption, I truly believe that foster care is the only ethical way to adopt.  There are SOME domestic infant and international adoptions that are ethical, but it's really, really hard to find those situations, and to be sure that everyone involved has ethical intentions, etc.  I personally don't believe it's worth the risk just to get a baby.