How long should a 5 yr old be on the phone?

Question

This issue is completely new to me. My grandmother would have flipped out if I would have started getting a TON of phone calls at home while I was in Kindergarten.

My second oldest daughter is in K. and the phone is ringing non-stop all day for her.

How many phone calls and for how long should she be on the phone at this age?

She has several friends calling...so far about 4 different kids a day....HELP!! :)

Thanks in advance for the answers!!

Answer 1

Though a mother myself, I find this most interesting. Nothing like anything I ever had to deal with.

First, is it a cell phone or the house phone? If it's her personal phone, I wonder why she has one. If its the house phone, why have you allowed her such privilege?

I can understand the odd call, but the endless calls, I find very unusual.

More shocking is the fact that the children who call her, have parents who are agreeable to their children being on the phone prolonged too! I am beginning to feel like a Dinoseur or tyrant - how things have changed  so fast, in a few years from when mine was 5 or was I too strict? Thought I had seen it all. I have nieces, nephews, friends children, etc, surrounding me, never heard of this, not at this tender age.

Whilst it is good to talk, I can't see this as a habit that is worth encouraging. It gets harder to stop. When she gets to an age where she has chores, duties, tasks, homework to do, if she has formed the habit of being on the phone for extended periods of time, how does she change to facing her new responsibilities?

Remember children are born blank as a slate. As parents, we determine what is written on their slates.

Make a judgement as to how many and how long for. Set the rules and stick by it. Even if it means turning off the phone or speaking to the other parents. You could consider giving her a 15, may be 30 minute window each day to talk - say 5 - 5.15pm or possibly recive a specific number of calls - e.g. 2. Outside those times, its a No No.

Endless idle chatter, can not be healthy, not at 5. I'll advise you begin to curb it and encourage school work, outside play, library visits and visiting some of her friends at agreed intervals!

I can see you being unable to ascert your authority in other areas too. You need to learn to take your stand from now. It doesn't get easier as they grow older.

Good luck!

Answer 2

A 5 year old should not f*cking have an individual phone, and at most 45 seconds per call.

Answer 3

Take the phone away.  Give it back when she's 18.

She should  be reading, playing in the yard or doing chores (yes...chores)

You are a lousy Mom

Answer 4

an hour maybe

Answer 5

Not at all. She can talk to her friends at school (in break times of course) for free. If they want to ask a specific question about the next day, then they can do that - shouldn't take more than a minute.

And you really need to teach your daughter not to give her phone number out to anyone unless you say it's OK first. Or maybe they're getting it from a class list?

Answer 6

Well... I wasn't allowed to be on the phone at all until about 8 and i never really thought about either i mean my mom called the other mom if we wanted to get together, man times have changed! I'd say a half hour a day.

Answer 7

Well usually 5 year olds don't like talking o the phone, maybe 20 seconds a day.

Answer 8

when i was 5 i don't think i even knew how to use a phone. talking on the phone at that age is strange. children should be out playing and being creative not talking on the phone.  schedule some more play dates or crafts or something.

Answer 9

I would limit her to 5 minutes per call and tell her she can't have calls past dinner time. I never talked on the phone at 5 except to my grandma I used to talk to her for 30 minutes everyday.

Answer 10

a 2 minute conversation at the most like 3 times a week or so

Answer 11

My kids have been allowed to talk to their "best friend" at that age and only for about 10 minutes. Occasionally if one of them had been sick for 3 or 4 days I let them talk longer. Other than that not at all. My oldest is 9 and talks to one friend every week or so for about a half hour. My youngest hates talking on the phone to anyone so its not a problem. I think they can do their chatting at school especially at this young of an age. Just say weekends only and only for 10 minutes. We have had a few kids who were very persistent and I just kept telling them no, and eventually they stopped calling but are still good friends at school.

Answer 12

I never had that many kids call me at that age! I would say 5-10 minutes a phone call. What in the world can they possibly talk about? Numbers??

Answer 13

Yeah, isn't it cute at first.  Then it can get out of control.  Mine only started calling her friends at about 8yrs.  My rule was if she wanted to call through the week for a legitimate reason then ok, for 10mins.  but otherwise once a week for a chat on weekends/holidays.  At that age I would make a phone call chart, you do the times and she can illustrate it.  Tell her it's better to ring grandma twice a week when she has lots and lots of news and grandma has time to listen.  (Make a special time for grandma to ring her and let her know when that is.)  Let her ring 1 friend a week for 10mins. and put the timer on. Make a house rule about friends ringing, ie. 5pm, 7pm for 10mins.   GOOD LUCK IN LATER YEARS!

Answer 14

they are learning social skills, i dont see a problem with it

Answer 15

I think it is okay for a 5 yr old to be on the phone. Like someone said they are building social skills but I think you should also moniter it. I would say no more than 10 minutes a day. Make sure she is still seeing her friends and having play dates. All the normal stuff 5 yr olds do. Good luck

Answer 16

My 5 year old hates talking on the phone but I let him talk to one or two friends a day if they call but he doens't talk that long.  I figured 5 minutes max and no phone calls around supper time and nothing after 8 pm.  I wouldn't block phone calls from friends but i would just say you have 5 minutes or something along those lines and if they call during homework or family time I would tell them she can't come to the phone right now.  I know my sister is having a similar problem now that her son hit kindergarten, he is getting 5 or 6 calls a day after coming home from school and I just wonder if their parents even know they are using the phone all the time.  I know I don't let my 5 year old call people.

Answer 17

Set a limit for the phone calls. How many minutes she can spend on the phone, how many times her friends should call. Her friends shouldn't call so much to the point where it annoys you. If she won't tell her friends about her new rules, or her friends ignore the rules and continue to call anyways, talk to their parents about it and explain that they can call your daughter, but not past certain times or for too long. A 5 year old should not be running up your phone bill like that.  remember that it is your, house, your phone, and your money that is paying for these things. Your daughter and her friends need to respect that.

Answer 18

she should actually see her friends, talk to her friend's parents aswell, to talk about the phone issue, and set up play times or something.

lol imagine when she gets older, soo many more phone calls.

Answer 19

She is too young.  Set a limit.  Maybe she can only get calls from 4:00-4:30.  If anyone calls after that you can ask to take a message or tell them to try tomorrow between 4-4:30.  No outgoing calls though.  Its good that kids like her and want to be friends with her but 5 is just too young to start this type of social scene.

And you may consider talking to the moms of the other kids if it continues.  It may be good to find out if they know their kids are calling so much and see if you guys can come up with similar limits or timeframes for phone calls for the girls.

Answer 20

there 5, they shouldnt be at all.

Answer 21

Five! Good grief, she shouldn't be on the phone at all except to say Hi to grandma or I love you to Aunt Sue....My thirteen year old doesn't even spend that much time on the phone. When the kids call, tell them that she is busy and that they can talk to her tomorrow in school.

Answer 22

a 5yr old? are you serious?!

Answer 23

Haha, that's funny. Why don't you arrange more play dates so they won't have to talk on the phone so much.  Plus, I'm not 5 and my parents won't let me be on the phone for no longer than an hour a day.  Since your kid is only 5, I'd say about 30 minutes at the most (that's even extreme).

Answer 24

2-5 mins per call, and only 3 calls a day.

Answer 25

maybe she is a popular kid......... or maybe they are all planning something..... lik a suprise b-day for one of their friends.......... or they are trying to dress the same 4 school ( lik twins) so they are constantly calling eachother........ inno that's a little specific but that's wat i used to do! lol.

If it is becoming  a problem i would suggest talking to her................ and maybe u should schedule some play dates for her and her friends so that they won't need to talk on the phone because they will c eachother more in person.

Good luck to u and ur 5 year old!!

(There will b  more phone calls laterr on  in their life!!!! LOL)

Answer 26

It looks like you've gotten this figured out by now but I want to add what we did years ago. My problem wasn't one of my daughters but one of my sons. He can still talk all day every day and gets calls non stop in his 20's!

When it started to be a problem for us, we bought a dinging egg timer. Calls were allowed from say 4 to 4:30 and a time limit was set. Say 5 minutes. The timer goes off, you say goodbye and no one can call twice in one night. Your daughter is really young for this to have already started so she will get used to the rules quickly. Plus it may be a relief to know that the kids she spent all day with can only bother her for one half hour an evening.

Have you spoken to the other kids parents? I guess not since you said this just started. if it continues I think I would. Just ask if there is something going on you know nothing of.

GOOD LUCK! I am glad my kids are all grown........

Answer 27

Less than she should be outside playing... or actually seeing her friends.

Answer 28

Wow I am sooo glad my 10 yr old daughter hates talking on the phone. I would limit her phone time to weekends only and only during a set time like between 2 and 4 pm. I would also limit the conversations to 10 min max. and that means per kid, not one girl calls they talk for 10 min and then the same girl calls back a half hour later. Also I would try to get your daughter into letter writing. Most kids LOVE to get mail so this way she could tell them about fun stuff going on, send them drawings and stickers and get mail. But i agree that the phone time needs to be cut big time now before she turns into a teenager with a phone glued to her ear 24/7!

Answer 29

Let her talk to her best friend for a few minutes. For the rest I would politely say she is busy and she will see you at school tomorrow.

The telephone thing usually wares off in a couple of weeks anyways.

Answer 30

WELL I VSAY YOU SHOULD LET HER BE ON THE PHONE 4 just about 30 minutes because you would rueing her life if you made her not be on the phone her friends might yell at her because she isnt alound on the phone 4 a long . if her friends are alound shouldnt she?

Answer 31

Well, I would say maybe ten minutes at the most for a friend. How long does she usually talk? Maybe instead of her friends always calling her, they could come over, or they could play together instead of constantly using the phone. Or, you could use caller ID, and not always pick it up. But, if I were you, I'd talk to her friends parents, and ask them to possibly set a limit on how many times their kid should call a week. I know it might sound mean, but, if it's really bad, you should do something about it. Best wishes!

- Tifa