How long to wait to have kids?

Question

My guy wants to have kids 3-5 months after we are married. I want to wait for at least a yr. Is it wrong of me? I dont want this to be a big fight. Can someone give me some advice or stuff to say to him to tell him how i feel. We are a younger couple and i feel that we should keep our relationship the same and that to much change to soon would be stressful. Am i wrong to not want kids to soon?

Answer 1

no your right once you have kids its a 24/7 job and you get almost no time for your self or your husband

waiting till your relationship is really secure and healthy is best

plus you gise have to make sure you gise have the same ideas on how to raise a kid it helps to discuss before you have a kid

oh and also when you first get married you will have stupid arguments over nothing just try to reason with eachother

most of the fights will probably be over power

anyways enjoy your freedom while you can!!

Answer 2

There isn't a "right" or "wrong" answer to this. You two need to discuss it and compromise to the point that you both feel comfortable or you're going to have some serious relationship issues. No one out here can tell you what's right for you. You should discuss it with him.

Answer 3

You should have kids when you both are ready.  Relationships change after kids and you both should be ready for it.

Answer 4

Have you been living together previously? A year of living together is worth about 4 of not living together, as far as getting to know each other is concerned. I would never suggest anyone have a child before they've lived with the person for at least a year. There are too many things to learn. The longer you are together, the slower these things will come to the surface. Now and then they'll come out with an opinion, and you'll be completely shocked that they could think that. You shouldn't have kids until you've thoroughly discussed your opinions of childraising. Are your thoughts on religion, discipline, education, sexual morals etc the same or very close to? Hey, you shouldn't get married until you've discussed all that sort of stuff. You've got months worth of deep and meaningful conversations to have before you concieve.

Answer 5

3 to 5 months would actually be a year! because then you have to wait 9 months anyway!  

Answer 6

No you are not wrong. Do what you feel is right and if he truley loves you he will respect that. Enjoy being young without kids while you can. Im not saying having kids is a burden its jus a big responsibilty do it when you feel is right. If worst comes to worst take the depo behind his back. If you research it usually takes 18 mons to concive. It doesnt really seem that way because some people get lucky but I wish you the best of luck in this situation. Its hard but like I said before if he loves you he'll wait. Its your body your the one whos gona to have to go through the changes not him. You shouldnt have to lie to him, if your gonna marry him. Think about it.