How long until you were comfortable with s*x again after the baby?

Question

Ok, I hate to get personal on here, but I feel like this is the best place to get a variety of answers/opinions

My baby turned 9 months yesterday...and are you ready for this?

It STILL hurts to have s*x!

Has anyone had this problem? The doctor has looked at my "stitches" numerous times, and says it looks red, but they ran cultures...no infection. Otherwise it looks like it has healed fine. But everytime we try to have s*x it is like a stabbing pain on the incesion sight. The doctor has said that some people (!!!!!) take up to a YEAR to heal?! =0

And no...this isn't the "re-stretching" pain...trust me.

I work at a hospital and an ob/gyn mentioned something about a rare, but possible, thing where a nerve head gets stuck in the stitches.

Has anyone heard of this, or experienced this?

Or did anyone just take a long time to completely heal?

Answer 1

I know for me it took quite a while after my son was born to get back to normal. It was a lot longer then the doctor said should be fine. Things are fine now but if your still worried I would get a second opinion. I know that can be very stressful on you and your relationship.

Answer 2

Everyone is different, I was back right after the recommended 6 weeks. I wonder if you just deal with the pain if it will eventually go away. When you have surgery you have to rehab the area and this may be the same. There was trauma there and stitches and now the healing is complete it is time to get the muscles and tissue back to how it was before. You should look for a forum for new moms, I bet there will be a lot of stories like yours out there.  

Answer 3

My son is 8 months old and I still have to tell my husband to go slow.  We tried at 6 weeks, but it was super painful.  I tore during birth and it just felt like my OB/GYN stitched me up too much or something.  I talked to her about it at 7 weeks said to "practice" stretching it out using a small syringe she gave me (to just use it in the packaging... for the shape).  She also said that if that didn't work, she could make me bigger... yikes!  I didn't want to go through that healing process again.  

So, anyway, we decided to take it slow around 12 weeks.  My husband got this Durex Play Longer stuff for him to numb the area since he hadn't had s*x in a while... so, I thought it would be great to use it for myself and I didn't feel nearly as much pain!  I used that every time to get my body to readjust to s*x and we just went super slow.  Now I don't have to use the stuff, we just have to go slow at first and use a lot of KY.

But, I have never heard of a nerve getting stuck in the stitches.  You may want to just double check by getting a second opinion.  You know, my husband cut his hand open and didn't have stitches, but it would still hurt from time to time for a year or 2.  But I know exactly what you are talking about about the stabbing pain on the incision... I still can feel a mild pain at the beginning of our rendezvous.

Answer 4

Um i don't know since ive never had s*x and ive never had a baby dont plan too  

Answer 5

i had a c-section almost 10 months ago, and i was very surprised to find that s*x was very very painful when we started back up again. it lasted for me a few months. doesn't hurt anymore, but when it didn't it was like a sharp stabbing pain on the inside (TMI i know, but that's what it felt like) almost like a needle stabbing me. hard to explain. i too had a very frustrated husband, but he was understanding about the whole thing.

i found my pain so strange since i didn't even have a vaginal birth.

i found out that a drop or imbalance in hormone levels can cause very painful s*x after a baby is born. mine doesn't hurt anymore. hasn't in months. check with your doctor about lab work, to check hormone levels.  

Answer 6

i was comfortable at 4 weeks ,i know the doctor said wait 6 but i couldn't lol

Answer 7

I would definitely get a second opinion...it seems very abnormal to me, at least.  I've had two babies and it took me less than a month to heal for both.

Answer 8

.........

Answer 9

well it usually takes 3 weeks to get back to normal n do stuff again thats if it was normal and no c section

Answer 10

After our baby was born, we didn't try to have s*x for about 6-7 weeks.  My wife had some swelling and stitches, and we weren't about to push anything.  We first tried to have s*x about 4 months afterwards.  There was some uncomfortableness and pain.  We took it real slow, but there was still pain and dryness.  Her OB/GYN prescribed a lubrication cream that doubled as an anti-infection topical cream.

While the doc at your hospital is correct in the 12 months thing, it is uncommon.  If it is not that your mate is trying to be too rough and that there is just pain at the incision sight, you may need more healing, but a good antibiotic might help too.  However, unless you have good reason to doubt your Doc, s/he usually knows best.

Don't discount the possibility of a psychological hindrance as well.  Especially in female sexual function, a mental or emotional block can contribute to or exaggerate otherwise minor sexual isues.

There are many nerve endings in the general vaginal area, but I have never heard of a nerve ending getting caught up in the soutures.  Having done my share of souturing, I don't see how that is manageable, although I suppose anything is possible.  I'm not an OB/GYN, but it doesn't make sense to me.

Overall, when in doubt, yield to your doctor, or get a second, outsidwe opinion if possible.

Answer 11

Have you tried using ky jelly and seeing if it helps? It's been 7 months and i'm comfortable but still no s*x drive...  

Answer 12

After my first baby, I was having pains a year later. One day, it just stopped hurting.

After the second baby, I was having s*x comfortably after 2 weeks.

I'm convinced that the first doctor screwed up my stitches. Or maybe because the birth was more traumatic. I don't know.

Every birth is different, not just every person.  

Answer 13

I would wait in'till I'm fully healed, It took me about 2 months to have s*x again.You just have to wait and so does your fiance,and yeah we feel bad because we no our men are in need but theyll understand .Ok yeah 9 months is pretty long but wait in'till about a year or a couple of months .It might take your body to heal longer then others!

Don't worry you are not doomed its aloney temporary for the momment.

Good luck!

Answer 14

It's been 4 months since our baby was born and it hurts me too.  I had a lot of damage and we've only tried once.  It was pretty tramatic for me that time and it's stopped me from wanting to try again.  I feel this same kind of pain too.  I wasn't feeling it before we tried but ever since I feel it every now and then, and hubby (or anything else) is not anywhere in the region.  I've heard of this nerve thing too and heard that it can happen that it's always like this.  This is my fear.  I'm terrified to have s*x now!  My doctor also says everything looks OK but it just doesn't feel like it.   So I guess I don't really have answers for you but I definately know what you're going through!  Pls email me and let me know if you find any more info on this nerve thing.  I'll do the same:)

best of luck and congrats on your little one!

Answer 15

That is strange, I had stiches with my first one and it hurt the first couple times, but that was it.  I'm sorry...if your OBGYN says there is nothing wrong and you feel like there still is, you could try and get a 2nd opinion, otherwise maybe she is right.

Answer 16

I have never heard of a nerve head being stuck, but then again i had a c-section. I wish i could be of better help to ya.

Answer 17

I'm 9 weeks out and was wondering the same thing myself.  I feel bad for my husband because I know he knows I don't want to have s*x, even though I do occasionally for his benefit, but does nothing for me.  Not only does it sting, all I think about is the baby and I still feel so fat I am SO disinterested.  And I'm still spotting through out the day.  When will that quit.  That's really annoying to.  I'll be interested to see you answers.  Good luck to you and me both.

Answer 18

I would get a second opinion.  I had over 100 sitiches (most internal--you do NOT want me to explain) and was ready to go after 4 weeks.  But since I'm not a m*******t,  I waited until the baby was 4 months old before my hubby and I 're-united'...I have never heard of the nerve thing.  But they shouldn't be red after this long.  What I would do is get some bag balm (you can get it a CVS) and apply it failrly liberally to the area--wear a pad if you need to --for a while and see if that brings any releif.  They gave me bag balm at the hospital and I am told it is part of the reason I healed so quickly.  Good luck.

Answer 19

It took a couple of YEARS before I could comfortably have s*x after my episiotomy. It was very sore during the first part of intercourse and I would get used to the pain after a while.  Its a shame they have to cut women like that during child birth.