How long where you in Foster Care...?

Question

i know this all depends but;

1.)how long where you in foster care?

2.)how long did you stay in a group home(s)?

3.)When you where in a foster home where there usually other foster kids and biological kids of the foster parents staying in the house as well?

4.)how far in your state where you moved from house to house?

5.)What are some [any] experiences you had in foster care?

6.) where you ever adopted? [if you where up for adoption]

7.) if you did age out of the system, how old where you when you left?

i know that all of these things vary, but if you could give me some examples of what you, your friends, family, or etc... expeirenced in foster care that would be great.

thanks for the help!

Answer 1

1. i was in for 2 and a half years. 11-14.

2. i was lucky. i was never out in a group home but alot of my foster brothers and sisters were coming from group homes and i tried to make sure i never had to go. My biological brother was put into a group home for a few months and visiting him made me cry every time.

3. I was in 7 foster homes in that 2 and a half years and the first 2 placements it was just me and my 2 brothers, but they were temporary emergency homes. The third home had a biological child, an adopted child from the system, 2 foster kids, and then me and my 2 brothers. Next was just me and one brother with a couple that was found out they were prgnant a month after we got there and then coincidentally we moved to another home. There, there were 2 biological children and 4 foster kids including my brother and i. Next there was one biological child. And then my brother was moved in with a single guy for foster care with no other children who eventually adopted him when he was 14.

4. I think it was just between 2 counties. It was in Maryland and things are pretty close there. Usually from every foster home it was no less than 20 minutes from where my biological mother was at.

5. The worst experiences I had in foster care were being seperated from my two brothers. None of us took it very well and we tried to run a few times. I hated visiting my biological mother every month even though i never admitted it. And therapy was terrible! The best was being able to see my brother be adopted. I had one home that I absolutely lived. There were seven kids including me and my brothers, and i vividly remember every monday my foster mom having us all sit down to watch 7th heaven. It was her favorite show.

6. I was finally adopted at 14. My moms rights were terminated after repeatedly failing to go to treatment and disapearing from the state. The family adopted me through the system but also through a private agency. They were looking for an older girl and after the private agency was no help they met a social worker whom i had known for 11 years and mentioned that they might like to meet me. In Maryland if your 13 you have a say in whether you want to be adopted or stay in foster care, and who you want to adopt me. It was amazing that at my age i had options. My brothers new adoptive father ofered to adopt me, the foster parents who had gotten pregnant wated another child and asked about me and then my family, the ones I chose.

7. Because I was adopted i didnt age out of the system but my older brother Jason did. He was 18 when i was adopted and was given the chance for an independent liveing program. They help with housing and school. He was doing great and was going to a tech school to be a mechanic. Unfortunately he got caught up in drugs and at 19 the system booted him.

Answer 2

Hmmm....

1) I was in from age 7 until 18 years old = 11 years

2)  I was in a several group homes.  One I was in for a couple of months and another I was in for 1.5 years.  In between I was in foster homes.  I can't remember all the exact times.  

3) Depends.  This is VERY variable.  Some families had their own biological children, usually 1-2 children.  I never was in a house with more than 2 biological children.  

And some families had no biological kids and more foster kids.  I stayed in one house (from h**l) that had 4 foster kids.  Each room had 2 kids.

Sometimes the biological children were grown up and the foster parents just wanted foster kids now.  So, sometimes it was all mixed.

4)  I was moved between 3 counties.  And that was because of the group homes, which were in a different county.  Every move sucks because new schools, new life, etc.  I moved over 14 times.   At least 12 foster homes and several group homes.

5)  I had alot of experiences.  Read some of my other posts.  I was in for along time.  My bio-parents had their rights terminated almost immediately because of abuse and neglect.  As a result, at 7 I was in the system for good.  Some experiences were ok and some were horrible.  They were better than living with my bio-parents, but it is NOT EASY being in foster care.  

Some foster parents cared, some beat the h**l out of me.  Some tried to understand, some locked me bathrooms or outside on freezing cold nights.  Some helped me, some hurt me.

6)  I was up for adoption as soon as my parent's rights were terminated which was very quick..  But I was never adopted.  I think I had alot of problems and I acted out alot and unfortunately, people don't want to adopt bad kids.

7) I aged-out at 18 years old.  They gave me nothing.  I had $63 and no place to live, no medical insurance, nothing.  Luckily I got a job and my boss let me sleep on her couch until I got enough money to get a crappy apartment.  

But I still had 2 times in my life where I was "homeless."  I lived in shelters while I tried to get enough money to get a place to live.  At 18, 19 no-one should have to worry about that.  

Today, there are different rules depending on your state.  Some places let you age-out at 21.  Some let you have transitional housing, but it is hard to get.  It varies....but once you are out, you are OUT.

You are asking alot of questions.  I think if you shared some more details about why you are going to foster care, I (and others) could help you more.  For example, if your bio-mom is a drug addict and needs rehab, you might get out after she finishes rehab, whereas if your bio-parents are severaly abusive, you might be in for awhile.  Or other.  If you don't want to share, that is ok.  I just want to be as helpful as possible.

For me, I did not have time to prepare.  I was taken by CPS as an emergency.  That was it.  I had nothing but the clothes on my back.  I had no time to prepare or think or understand.  But since I lived it, I think I can help you.

Answer 3

1) I was in foster care for 12 years

2) I stayed in a group home for 2 years

3) Yes there were always other kids in the house.  Usually they were biological though.

4) I was always moved house to house.  I was usually moved once every two months.

5) I was usually treated like a slave.  When ever I was in one that I really liked, it seemed to me that the family would always chose not to keep me for some odd reason.

6) No I was never adopted.

7) I was 18 when I left the system.  I was so happy.

All I ever wanted was a family that loved me and never got it in foster care so now I am starting my own family.