How long would it take for a 2 year old & 5 month old to forget their mother who is no longer in their life?

Question

I am raising my 2 granddaughters which are 21 months & 5 months. Their mother just gave them up. The 21 month old yells for her mommy and it breaks my heart. I was just wanting to know how long it would take before they forgot her.

Answer 1

they will never forget=/

i'm sorry=/

Answer 2

I'm really sorry about your situation. I don't think she will ever "forget" her mother, but she will probably learn to accept that she won't see her again. I would say after a few months, she should stop yelling for her, maybe even less. Once she learns she's not gonna get her, she'll stop. Just firmly tell her "Your mommy is not here." Eventually, you're going to have to explain why, and I'm sorry about that. You are a great person for taking in these kids! I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

The five month old will probably have no recollection of her but some people have memories from their first year of life, so the two year old might remember something but might not know what the memory is exactly. Its going to be tough because right now they sense the absense but can't comprehend why, so just be there for them as much as you can. Once they associate comfort and maternity with you, they'll stop looking for their 'mother', but in all honesty, she isn't if she gave them up. Good luck!

Answer 4

I don't know if a child ever forgets about their Mother. But hopefully in time your grand babies will come to depend on you more and that will ease their pain =/

Good luck Grandma

Answer 5

may be they will forget her very soon or may not be because she is her mom 5 month old child's sorrow cannot be explained because she will never remember her mom until someone tell her that here is your moms picture ........i am very sorry for this matter

Answer 6

I doubt that they will completely forget her. I myself was adopted, and even though I was very young, I still remember some things about my real parents. Best thing to do is try to comfort them, and make them feel safe in your home. Don't bank all your happiness on them forgetting their birth mother. She's still their mother and one day they will ask about her.  

Answer 7

It will affect the rest of their lives. I know because it happened to me. My advice to you is to love them unconditionally and if needed make sure they get counseling if any emotional problems arise during their lives. They will probably forget her soon if they get the love they need but they wont forget the trauma.

Answer 8

they will never forget their mom.

they will probably start to UNDERSTAND soon though

Answer 9

My cousin's girlfriend left their baby at the age of 2 - it took about a week for him to stop looking for her.  He saw her after about a year and he didn't even remember her.  

Answer 10

THE MORE LOVE YOU SHOW THEM,,THE SHORTEST STEPS FOR THEM TO FOR GET HER,,ITS SAD, BUT I NO WHAT U R GOING THREW,,MY DAUGHTER LEFT MY FIVE GRANDBABIES AT MY DOOR STEP AND SAID HERE I CANT HANDEL THEM,,I HAVNT SEEN HER IN 4YEARS,,AND A LITTLE ADVISE IF THERE MOM WANTS TO COME BY N SEE THEM DONT LET HER,,IF SHE REALLY STARTS TO LOVING THEM LIKE A MOTHER SHOULD SHE WILL GET A JOB AND TAKE U TO COURT FOR VISITION RIGHTS,,PEACE

Answer 11

Don't let them forget her. it is better to know the truth.

It will be a long and grueling time but it is better they know.

Answer 12

They're only kids. It won't take them too long to forget about their mom, maybe a few months or less. If they were older, say 5 or 6, it will probably take a lot longer to forget their mother.

Answer 13

About a year.  But the 21 month old may have an unexpalainable empty feeling for a while longer.

Kids are resiliant.  They will be fine with your love.  As long as they know that they are loved and they have positive male role model around, their adolecent stages shouldn't be so bad.

I applaud your effort to take on the obligations of your child.

Answer 14

That is so sad. It could take as much as a year. Even then the older one might still remember for awile instances here and there. The more they get use to you being their primary care giver and you being the one to hold them and comfort them and kiss thier boo-boos the more they will identify you as "mom". You must be a wonderful person to take them in like you did. Not everyone does that, even for family.

Answer 15

shouldn't take longer than a month for the oldest.  I'm proud of the mother.

Answer 16

I dont know the answer to your question, but I just want to tell you how much I admire you for what you are doing, so many people would not and put the babies into care.

Please take strength in the fact that you are doing a wonderful thing for the girls, soon time will heal them. take care I wish you all the best in the future.x

Answer 17

I would think a long time..this is very sad. : ( it breaks my heart too, no offense but I hope that your daughter doesn't have any more kids, its not fair.

Answer 18

im 25 my mom died when i was 16 and i still wear a necklace with her picture on it so i dont know

Answer 19

the 5 month old will quickly forget. it may not even effect him/her since separation anxiety does not set in until later. it might be tougher for the 21 mo. as long as the dad is also there with you, it would help some. it may take a few month to a year for the older child to stop 'looking' for mom but he/she will not forget mom. as long as you are always there for them, they will know that you love him/ her.  good luck. you're wonderful for taking the kids. they will bring you such joy. good bless.

Answer 20

When i was adopted when i was 18 months old, my adoptive mother told me that i cried for my real mom for about a year. she had so much trouble trying to get me to get over my mom. if they have a security blanket you should let them have it, and just comfort them as much as you can. in time it will fade.

Answer 21

omgoodness :(

god bless you for helping these children!

Just give them a lot of love!

Answer 22

They'll remember her as long as they live, so let's hope it's a long, long time.

Give them lots of love and support, and eventually it will become less painful for them.

Their mom may be back, by the way.  People change, and so do their ideas and attitudes.

Try not to badmouth her, because they'll remember that, too.

Good luck.

Answer 23

you should take them to a park, being with other kids in a stimulating environment will make them feel better

if they are distracted by something fun they should forget pretty fast

think of a couple of colorful jumping balls and some colored craions with lots of paper

monsters made out of fruit

blow bubbles kids love it

Answer 24

probably like a month

Answer 25

depends on you really. I think what you mean is when will she be ok with wanting you. when you stop being sad she will to. she may always miss her, she will stop asking for her if you tell her " it makes me upset that mommy felt like she needed to leave - she may come back when she is done - it is ok to be sad some times - it is ok if she does not come back - she knew you would be safe with her mommy - I am glad to hug you when you are sad - lets find a new way to be sad - draw pictures or tell stories " barney style it, that way you can always talk about it when she gets older. good luck

Answer 26

I'm so sorry you are having to go through that.  Unfortunately, the 2 year old will take quite some time, but the 5 month old will be fine.  All you can do is comfort them and pray for them, and thank God that she gave them to you, rather than doing anything drastic.  It will get easier as time passes.

Also, mommy may get her act together and come back in a year or so.  You may not want them to forget her entirely.

Answer 27

I'm not sure...not long for the 5 month old (their brains are not forming permanent memories at this point). The two year old needs to be told in a healthy and helpful way about her mom. Either counseling or some other idea that you get from the internet..or Yahoo.

Answer 28

The two  year old will not forget. that baby will question her mothers whereabouts for the rest of her life. I have an 8 yearold that has only had her mother in her life for about two years.  She always questions the whereabouts  of her mother, why doesn't her mother love her.   a baby knows the smell of their mother, and even though they may call someone else mommy when they learn to talk, they know there mother.

Answer 29

hi misbecky!

what a wonderful woman that u are? may i first say that! the 21th old may take a little time to adjust, does she have a favourite doll that u can distract easily, or something that she likes to do,it will probably take a few months or less but seeing that u are her grandmother she should adapt much quicker.

don't keep promising her that mummy will be back soon, your only making the situation worse if u do that, try not mention the word mummy for awile and u will probably find they will both call u mum after a period of time anyway. the 5 mth old will adapt more easily as she has not yet bonded with her mum, that's so sad that your daughter cannot care for them, but she is a lucky girl to have  such a wonderful caring mum like yourself.

i wish u well and i hope it all works out for u

cc

Answer 30

Show them lots of love, tend to their needs, and they will accept you as their main provider. The oldest may never forget, and you don't really want her to, but she will stop crying for her mom sooner than later. Be sure the Mom does not come back to see the kids, of she is just planing on leaving again. That will destroy and positive stridess you made with the oldest child. They should only she the Mom againwhenn they are capable enough to understand she will be leaving. I wish you the best, you are doing a good thing.  

Answer 31

they would never forget there mother even in 1000 years

but they will calm down  a pit after a week or 2

just keep looking after them and make sure to take care of them