How long would you wait for a proposal?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years, I am ready to get married and he says he is, but he wants us to have our own place before we do. ( I understand where he is coming from as we are living with his parents at the moment) but don't a lot of newlyweds live with the family/in-laws to save up for a nice home to move into together?

Answer 1

I don't know what a lot of newlyweds do, I know that the best thing for ME was to live on my own, date, get married and move into a place together.  Why are you living with his family? Don't you have your own family? Don't you have your own money? Don't you have friends? It seems like an uncomfortable and awkward situation.  I couldn't do it.

Answer 2

Umm.. no.  I say you should wait until you have your own place before getting married.  You can get engaged living with his family, but isn't it rather silly to still be bunking with Mommy and Daddy if you're married?

Why not get an apartment?  There's no reason the two of you need to stay with his parents until you purchase a house.  Get a small apartment together and save for a house while you're on your own.  He'll propose when he's ready to, don't push him.  If time goes by and he hasn't expressed he's ready to get married yet, then you need to decide what's more important to you - being with this man you love, or having the ring on your finger.  

Good luck.

Answer 3

nO WAY!  It is not fair for your parents or in-laws to provide you as a couple with a place to live especially if you are married.  Wait until you have a place to live before you get married.  At 24 and 25 you two should be out on your own.  When my husband and I decided to live together we got a tiny 1 bedrrom apartment and had no internet or cable, but it is what responsible adults do.

Answer 4

If you are already living together then I guess he is in no rush to legalize it.  I think getting married then your own place is a perfect time to get married (even renting a  place until you can afford to buy something).  You would be starting out married life in your own place.   In this case since you are already living together I see no reason not to get married so I would think that he might not actually want to take that final step.  For me I could never see myself living with my inlaws!  I would much rather have my own place.

Answer 5

No. We never lived as a couple with our parents before getting married. If you want to be adults then you must act like it. We lived in an apartment and then bought a house after we got married. He is putting you off because he is not ready. If I were you I would move out on my own. You should get your own apartment and start living like an adult. If you are always under mommy and daddy's roof things will never change.  

Answer 6

Why not tell him how nice it would be to move into a new place together as a married couple?

You can't MAKE him propose but only you know the situation.  Depending how old you are I think 3 years is long enough but he has to have that gut feeling that you are the one.  Playing house and being married for life are two completely different things.

Answer 7

i dont think that there is a set length of time.  however, if you do get married, you should do it when you can move out of your parents house asap.  nothing is more awkward than a wedding night in your parents house.  that's just weird, hehe.  however, talk to your boyfriend and see where his head is at.  maybe you can come up with a compromise of 2 years?  that might be fair.  

Answer 8

2 years.

Answer 9

Well it depends how old you are and if you have jobs etc.  BUT if you wait for life to be perfect to get married then you never will.  And why do you have to have a house to get married, can't you get an apt or something like that. You should talk to him about it and aks him wha't really holding him back? Then again, why rush into something, just because you've been going together for 3 years doesn't mean you have to get married, what will be the difference between being married to him and being with him...None except a bunch of papers.

Good luck

Answer 10

I would not wait.  I asked my husband.  He laughed and then said yes.  Your bf is stalling.

Answer 11

In ancient times (and in many cultures today) the common practice is or the families of both sides to give large gifts and inheritences to a young couple at their wedding day so that they could start their new life together without dependence on others. 3 years is a long time to wait for either of you. The question is do you want to be like a lot of newlyweds or do you want to do things the right way. Why is it that in 3 years you guys have not taken appropriate measures to secure a future together? You should never live together before getting married in the first place because it creates an urealistic view of things. And you should never live with in-laws (or soon to be in-laws). Your boyfriend is right to wait until you guys have a place of your own but at the same time, what are either of you doing to make sure that happens? I don't know exactly what you guys do for a living or your income or lifestyle but both of you have some self-examination to do. Expenses are never an excuse not to save because everything always increases in price. You guys need several good investment vehicles like a money market account for short term savings, a COD, or even an annuity to make up for lost time fast. Don't blame eachother, just work together. If it's really worth it you'll both put in the time and effort and sacrifices. It will mean going out a lot less, reducing unecessary spending in all areas, working second jobs, side jobs or changing jobs.

Check out some Dave Ramsey financial stuff.