How many activities are too many???

Question

Kids today are in so many things - soccer, basketball, dance, gymnastics, softball, karate - and on and on.

My daughter is in competitive cheer, competitive baton, and Girl Scouts. It's a lot of work for her - and for me. She does like it all - but I sometimes wonder and I think we should cut back.

My son - he's more laid back. He's in the church youth choir - and boy scouts. That's it - and I'm fine with it.

All my friends are running crazy with their kids because they are all in a zillion things.

Is it like this everywhere?

Answer 1

No it isn't and I think parents are finally realizing their children don't need to be involved in so many activities to get their socialization skills. I say cut back if you feel it is too much. Give her a choice of two things she can do and keep it at that.

Answer 2

Your child has too many activities if she feels overwhelmed or if YOU do.  Having two kids in activities can be tough, juggling getting them to all of their things and doing all the things you need to do.  It doesn't make you a bad parent if you say I need my time too.  We try to keep our kids to under 3 hours of after school activities a week.  That gives them plenty of time to do more than one thing, but not do EVERY thing.  They have to learn to prioritize.  Also, if they pick an activity, make them stick with it, at least for a while.  I hate when people just let their kids quit whenever they feel like it...the kids never learn dedication or responsibility.  I especially cringe when people say just let your kids quit the sports teams they are on...they can stick it out through the season.  What about the rest of the team?

Answer 3

If your daughter enjoys it, then why not? It's important that she does a healthy amount of exercise. Far too many teen girls get little or none, and an active hobby that she likes and is good at is a great idea. But her hobbies shouldn't take up all her free time.

As she gets older, you may find that two things at a competitive level is simply too much, though. Once competitions start colliding she will have a problem, because I think both those are team things. She can't just choose between them on a week-by-week basis and let down the team she doesn't choose that week.

I think some parents go too far the other way, though. I saw someone say that some years her kid does no activities at all. That hardly encourages achievement or perseverance - and for many sports or music, it pretty much guarantees that the kid will never be good at them. For fun, participation activities, one year at a time (or even a couple of months at a time) is fine, but if you are looking at things like competitive sports or learning a musical instrument, your kid really has to have the mindset that this is something that is going to take them years to get good at and that there will be times when they'd rather go out and play but they won't be able to. They can't get that if their parents' attitude is that you simply stop bothering with activities every time you fancy a bit more free time.

Answer 4

Your daughter is definitely involved in too much.  Your son seems okay if choir is just once a week, but if you feel it's too much, then it is.

Parents these days are getting their children involved in so many activities that they don't have time to just be children.  When was the last time your daughter spent the afternoon into the evening having a neighborhood water gun battle, or jumping rope with her best friend?  I purposefully don't allow my daughter to join more than one thing at a time and some parts of the year I don't allow any activities at all.  The summer months are for relaxing and playing with her friends.  She doesn't have to leave her friends for anything except for meal-time.  

The other problem with this is that the parents aren't spending enough time with their children.  When you are home, you are busy trying to get everything done around the house that you aren't playing with your children or even sitting down and having good conversation.  

The more busy and strapped the parents are for time, the less tolerant they are as well.  I have friends that lose their patience sooooo fast because they are spread way too thin.

Answer 5

personally I think activities are good for kids as long as they don't feel overwhelmed. I wouldn't go overboard though to where there is no free time to just be a kid.

I have 4 boys who play baseball in spring and two of them do cross country running for the school team in the fall. They each play one instrument through school and that's about it.

I think two activities at a time is good and I wouldn't do more than three.