How many bad signals you have to receive...?

Question

from someone you still believe in, you're still confident about their good nature, to finally give up on them?

Answer 1

Less quantity, more caliber

Answer 2

RK is right. Don't torture yourself trying NOT to give up on them.

Answer 3

Very good question! I always wondered where is the line between a nice person being shy \insecure \scared \temporarily out of their mind and a bad person. And I decided to give up on trying to define that. I don't try to categorize people into good and bad anymore, or those on whom I give up on and those whom I still give a chance. I just tell myself: I am polite, smart, very patient, and fully capable of controlling my emotions. And if this person manages to make me so angry that I feel like slaping him\her on the face and need all my self-control to act politely, then this person is pushing it too far. So I usually respond to it somehow. Let myself get angry, or just make a calm remark, or say nothing and pull away, but I do let them know. But: if this person changes his\her ways, he\she is always welcome back, I don't see any problem giving another chance, as long as this person is still interesting to me. The funny thing is that people usually do come back and want to take that another chance.

So it's sort of a balancing act: if I start feeling bad around a person, then it's too much for now. Of course, afterwards I'm prone to "I should not have said that, even though he\she provoked me". But I'm only human.

Answer 4

Don't even try to count (the answer isn't quantifiable).

There's someone I know who is constantly annoying those around us with all manner of things -that's just part of his nature. However, I know that his "heart's in the right place" and when push came to shove he showed that. I give him all the leeway in the world -I'll never give up on him.

Answer 5

Give people second chances, but not too many.

Answer 6

Only you can answer this. There really is not a definitive number, it will be an accumulation of shite, built up, that you can no longer take. Hopefully if as you say, you are still confident about their good nature you will never give up, but I think that to even ponder this you have to be close to the breaking point. Sometime you have to let people go no matter how much you care about them, you can't save them or change them. And in the end only you can decide what you can take. I had a friend I had to "let go" she was my friend 17 years, and I had no other term for her but a "life sucker" I had to come to a decision that I could no longer deal with the good and the bad. I had bad signals from the beginning but I ignored them but  in 2006 I could  take it no longer. Her roller coaster,  bipolar like moods any longer, and I had to cut her loose. It was difficult. I know I didn't give you an easy answer but you really will know in your heart, corny but true. It took me 16 years, but I finally came to a realization that she was dragging me under with her. Maybe it will never have to come to that, hopefully you will come out with your relationship intact, but if not you can say you really tried and that is more than most. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Sounds like one less than you just got...

Answer 8

In any situation, you have to watch and judge the signals the best you can.

If you get enough bad vibes from it or there are just too many obvious signs then things are probably unhealthy.

Answer 9

If you really believed in that person, if you were really still confident about their good nature, you would not be asking yourself this question. Apparently however many bad signals you have already received have been more than enough to make you give up on them. Once the thought is formulated, the result is inevitable.