How many brides have gone on the Pill before their wedding - so they wont have their periods on their day?

Question

This is my dilemma:

Regarding my last question:

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AteJKOmku2ywn41G48lv94bg5gt.;_ylv=3?qid=20080810223950AAS8bYF

After a long talk with my fiance - said that I wanted to go on the pill so that I don't get my periods on my wedding day.

He never supported the idea, does not like the pill. Last night after a long talk. He said that if I want to go on the pill that is my decision, but he would have to abstain from sleeping with me after the wedding until I get my periods on the honeymoon. We did agree to use condoms before I decided to go on the pill. He thinks that it is humiliating to use a condom. He had told someone before he met me that when he gets married he is going to get his wife pregnant on the first night. I wasn't aware of this until a month ago.

He understood that I am not ready to fall pregnant right away. We have only known eachother for a year and getting married in 2 months. I do want to spend time with my fiance, before having such a huge and lifetime responsibility to raise children.

We are both virgins. Does it sound silly that he does not want to consummate the marriage until I am off the pill. He has been told that the PILL aborts a fertilised egg - and the church views things from conception - not from foetal stage. I have told him many times that the pill stops you from ovulating - thus no egg to fertilise. As the pill also thins the lining of the uterus.

Answer 1

Postpone the wedding, you two as a couple don't seem to have things straight yet.  Talk about this stuff more first, it's obviously a big road block.  You don't have to cancel the wedding, but you should be on the same page here!

Personally I think he sounds like an arrogant idiot.  But that may be a misconception on my part.

Answer 2

Sounds like your guy doesn't understand what a woman goes through and how much life changes when you have a child.  Don't get me wrong I'm all about kids, I have 2.  But after 4 years of dating we got pregnant quickly after marriage.

I don't regret anything, but sometimes I miss coming home to my wife and just hainging out by ourselves.

Kids are a big responsiblity and, sorry to say, the woman bears the majority of the burden.  Stick to your guns and stay on the pill until YOU are ready to have children.  If he doesn't understand, he needs to grow up.

Answer 3

Do you really know each other? A year after knowing him and new things are popping up  you didn't know.What else?

Answer 4

Okay, first of all, there is a pill that you can get that is not a method of birth control, but it delays your period by 1-2 weeks. Make an appointment with an OB/GYN to get it.

Secondly, you need to have a serious conversation about a method of birth control. Do you seriously want to have 20 kids just because he didn't believe in birth control, and doesn't want to use a condom?? I doubt it. Talk to his pastor and I'm sure he could clear things up, as I doubt he actually believes that people shouldn't use birth control. If he still doesn't agree to that, you HAVE to get him to agree to use condoms. It's fine if you want to have babies right away, but I'm sure you don't want to get pregnant every time you have s*x so you need a long-term plan.  

Answer 5

Well he is right it has been proven that the pill is just and easy abortion it does abort the fertilized egg. I totally understand his point of view and all..

Answer 6

i did. i didn't want to have my period during my honeymoon because we were going to be laying out on the beach all day and i didn't want to have to worry about having my period. so i timed it out and got on the pill so that i wouldn't have my period.

ps - your fiance is right. your egg will still get fertilized, the pill just doesn't let the egg attach to your uterus wall, you bleed it out instead.

Answer 7

Is he against the pill for religious reasons? If so, there might not be any way you two can come to a consensus. But it sounds like he has a lot of misconceptions about how birth control works - maybe the two of you could go talk to a gynecologist about how it functions and that it does NOT cause any kind of abortion. But if you don't want to get pregnant and he doesn't want to use condoms, then birth control is the only way to prevent it - or total abstinence. The "rhythm method" is inexact and unreliable.

I hate to tell you what to do, but are you sure you want to marry someone so unreasonable? He thinks condoms are "humiliating"? That's just childish. It sounds like he's ready for you to pop out a kid right away, and you're not. Is this something that you can resolve in two months, or ever?

Please, seriously consider the consequences of marrying someone who refuses to listen to reason and puts his emotional needs before your physical ones.

Answer 8

I'm wondering if you even have the same views on religion as he does?

Please hold off on this until he understand your BODy and pain from you period. It would be HORRIBLE to go through the wedding with those pains!!!

He wants to wait and abstain from s*x until you done with the pills? is this an arrange marriage? the reason I ask, because even if your really really religious, your still very excited to have relations with you husband/wife.

Feel free to email me.

Answer 9

If you are not ready to have kids with this man because you don't feel you know him well enough, then why are you marrying him?

If he does not support your using contraception now, what will happen when you feel that you are done having kids?  Will you stop having s*x or will you use contraception without his knowledge?

This is a big issue, you need to agree on these things before you get married.

Answer 10

i understand my fiance and i talked about th same thing at first he was against it , he thought a period was a weird thing to stress over . Until i explained evey girl worries or does something he just never knew  because it never effected him.  I asked in front of his sister and she said she is doing it and explained that back in the day before women had to plan their wedding a months/ a year in advice they would just plan it around their period. ( for example his mother) Just sit him down with some literature, tell him how a period is more embarrassing and  can be exhausting then he realizes. For me  I am anemic so i am really tired when i am on my period. If he does not come around you two should  work out your child planning plan. I wanted to wait one year  before becoming pregnant he wanted to wait  1 day. We have agreed with 6 months. A secret i learned from a Friend is she is never in the mood when she is most fertile. She used the rhythm method and did not mention it to him.  

Answer 11

You should talk to him about this and work it out before you get married. It sounds like he is against all forms of contraception since he is also not keen on condoms. This could be a big problem when you're married as you'll have to choose between abstaining or having a lot of children.

You both need to come to an agreement that you're happy with before you get married otherwise it'll just cause more arguments later down the track.

Answer 12

you both should try talking to a therapist that specializes in your religion otherwise I see somewhat of an unhappy life for you. You deserve the best AND to be happy, never forget that!

Answer 13

He is an idiot with some victorian ideas.  You two need to have time to make a marriage and enjoy a special time before you go having children.  This guy is humiliated by wearing a condome.  How ignorant is he?  Anyone with this fragil a grip on his manhood is not going to make a reasonable husband. He is already showing you his manipulating style by saying that he will not sleep with you on your wedding night?  Is he nuts?  No just manipulative and selfish and controlling.  You two do not share the same life viewpoint and I predict that if you go through with this and marry this jerk you are going to be very very sorry very very soon.  Don't do it girl  this guy is a walking red flag.

Answer 14

Wow... have you two actually sit down and discussed a plan about having kids? Before you get married, you need to discuss when to have kids, and how many you both want.

Good luck ;)

Answer 15

Ok, I'm assuming you have talked about birth control. While I agree that he is being unreasonable you are also. The pill (at least according to the inserts in my prescription) prevents implantation of the fertilized egg as a backup because of the fact that it does not prevent 100% of ovulation. Neither of you has the right to unilaterally decide what you will do in this case, and both of you are trying to do so. If getting strangers on the internet to tell you that your fiance is being unreasonable is that helpful to you that you need to do it again, then you need a better support network.

You do realise that the pill will make your birth control much more difficult, right? You have to wait about 3 months after going off before you're completely regular again, and won't that be fun to watch for ovulation then.  

Answer 16

You may still get your period on your wedding day.  My sister in law did this and still got her period.

The pill is only 99 per cent effective when used as prescribed.  Which means any time you have s*x you could get pregnant.

Answer 17

You are correct: there will be no egg released to get fertilized.  Using the pill is a safe and smart alternative to having a honeymoon baby.  And abstaining from s*x until you're off the pill is ridiculous!  No married couple should ever have to use abstinence as their form of birth control.  If anyone, try the pull out method.  Or if you have to, get condoms.

Condoms really aren't that bad (as long as you start with them :)  Try getting really thin ones for him, and if you do plan on using them, make the putting on of the condom part of the foreplay.  Good luck.

Answer 18

I read your other question, you've got a much bigger problem here than simply not wanting to have your period on your wedding day.  To answer that question, MOST brides and most young women take the pill simply to regulate their periods so that they know when to expect that monthly visit from "Aunt Flo."  However, the pill was originally developed to regulate period in women who don't have regular cycles, and the docs involved in the research discovered this wonderful little side effect, that is the pill prevents ovulation.  Hence, some marketing genius in the pharmaceutical company decided to use that take, rather than the regulating periods benefit.  

Your future husband has issues, and issues with s*x.  I have no problem with people abstaining from s*x until marriage, I actually think it's the preferred way to do it.  But, he's using s*x as a leverage tool, by threatening to withhold it from you until you're off the pill, or in other words, no nookie for you until you do things MY way.  That's NOT how a marriage works.  Sweetie, I've been married very happily for over 20 years, and was a virgin when I married, but using s*x as a bargaining tool is a BIG no no in any marriage.  You guys also have conflicting goals as far as your ideas about having children are concerned.  These are 2 areas which you 2 should be in 100% agreement, because in most marriages, they're deal breakers.  

After reading your 2 questions, I think you both need to have a serious conversation here.  Are you guys even ready for marriage?  Do you both realize marriage is learning how to compromise on a daily basis?  Do you both realize how important s*x is in a healthy marriage, and doing anything to damage that can fatally damage the marriage?  You've taken him to the doctor with you, he needs to go again.  And again, and again, until it sinks into his brain that you're speaking the truth.

His not wanting to consummate your marriage until you're off the pill doesn't just sound silly to me, it sounds very dangerous for your marriage.  Please, please, please, do whatever you can to make certain this is what you want.  He sounds like he's wanting to really be in control here, and it sounds like he's willing to literally cut off his nose to spite his face in order to be in control.  I've found people like that dangerous.  

I wish you all the best.  

Answer 19

I was on the pill when I turned 17, but it still didn't help. My period was not due until February 4th of that year, but on January 26, later that night of the Honeymoon..It showed up in bright red flaming colors with the worst set of cramps in history. I was 20.

My Auntie said my period was brought on by the stress of the wedding and everything that goes with it. I'm sure she was quite correct.