How many helium baloons would it take to lift a German artist about 100 meters off the ground?

Question

My good friend TD Euwaite is planning to invade Suffolk England and I just want to land a hand...

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Answer 1

Depends on much he weighs and how much beer he has consumed prob.. 800..

Answer 2

It vill take 99 luftballons, yah?

Answer 3

depends on what you write on the ballons, it could drag them down a bit. for instance "have a nice trip" will weigh more than, let's say, "go".

Answer 4

Is he holding his clay nobby's?

Nobby bombs made of clay, are heavy and hard, not only to carry but to lob.

Lobbing nobby bomby clay nobs while sitting in a lawn chair, will take much strength, also about 50 large hellium balloombys.

Duck and look out.

Hold tight Hun Bun while lobbing the nooby nobs of clay bombys.

Charge!!!!!

Answer 5

535 helium grade balloons strapped to a lawn chair ought to do it.  The German artist, code name Tyler Durden, could drop Wienerschnitzel on the Suffolk residents.  This would cause a drop in the price of spotted d**k and ruin their economy, making the Suffolk folk unable to mount a counterstrike.

Answer 6

ZERO . just stand in attention and HAIL the potrait he made of the FEHRUER , im sure thatll get him floating and gloating..

Answer 7

I want to watch him take off and arm myself with a crossbow for some real fun.  You can run a video camera to get a close up of his face as he realizes he will land a lot faster then he went up.

Answer 8

Helium? Lets do a dare fill it with hydrogen and you fly.

Answer 9

All right mister Aquadik Rhodehnt (or is that Wet Rat?).  Nice code name.  A necesity under the circumstances I'm sure.

Here's the formula you'll need...along with a wallet full o'cash if you're going to be successful.

Pay attention.

Yer gonna need about 30 party balloons per pound of lift you seek.  So if yer German artist friend is really skinny hundred and fifty pounder, he/she will make by with perhaps a few less than 5000 balloons!  But also remember that this is just the balloons.  Yer also gonna need to git yerself several bottle's of helium - or 'bout 70000 litres worth.

One thing you'll also need to take into consideration is the type of ordanance you'll be carrying aloft.  I can only assume under the circumstances you describe that you'll be arming your German artist friend with water balloons.  Remember that these will account for significant overweight and will need to be accounted for in your purchase of helium and balloons.  The procedure for attacking your enemies from the sky will be made further difficult by the fact that each time a unit of ordinance is launched, your German Artist friend will be pulled futher aloft by the jetisoning of balast.  This could thwart the entire effort if a control system is not devised and attached to your German Artist friend.  I might suggest a kitchen broom stick with a needle artfully duct-taped at a strategic angle to make popping balloons a posibility.

I don't know who's financing your war effort, but you better git started if you stand a chance!

Be careful Airman!