How many mothers out there have neglected themselves since having children?

Question

Before i had my daughter i had JUST lost 30 kgs (almost 60lbs) i went to the gym everyday, ate well, had my hair done once a month, waxed evey month blah blah blah. I now weigh what i weighed before i lost my weight, my hair is HORRID, im so hairy i look like a bloke and eating well whats that, if and when i do eat its c**p...i really want to do something but i start and get a week in and something goes crazy like she teeths and i get no sleep or at the moment i have my 4 nieces 2 days a week and work 3-4 days a week. Really just looking for a sympathetic ear or even some words of wisdom as to how you broke out of this post baby rut?????

Answer 1

It's hard, I know!!!  :)  We go from being in charge of no one's life but our own, to being covered in slobber and pee.  Hairy as a yeti too!!  lol

I find I just have to make my butt get out the door.  Once I put on real clothes (NOT jammies!) and some makeup, I feel so pretty and abnormal (ha ha) that I want to go out and do things.  Sure, my days consist of play dates at the park and grocery shopping, but at least I'm out of the house, right??

I also enjoy my exercise DVDs; I can get in a bit of working out during nap time, and if something comes up there's always the pause button.  :)  

Maybe you can find a local mommy group to meet with once a week?  You can gather and let the kids play, and commiserate about the changes of motherhood!

Answer 2

Oh my gosh i am in such a rut as well. I lost so much weight before getting prego. Now i just don't find time for myself. I want to spend any free time with my little one or just relaxing. I need to snap back into it. I am in a wedding in Oct. and i really hope that i can lose a little bit of this weight before that.

Answer 3

The maternal instinct and s*x are two of the four primary drives. Note how, in the animal world, one takes precedence over the other depending on the age etc. The lactating female has hormones that essentially is in conflict with those of the female in heat. Males know it too. Just go with the flow. Let nature take care of some of your "worries". Warm Regards.

Answer 4

i feel ya i have two adult children and two young children and two grandbabies and i am in my 30's i work full time also

Answer 5

I do think you need a pep talk, and to be able to have a whinge, but I don't think you need advice about this as you have done it before, lol.

I do feel your pain!!!

I as you know am pregnant with my third, I didn't have a chance to finish losing all the baby weight from the last pregnancy........I keep meaning to go and get waxed (I was just getting into the habit of doing it every 6 weeks or so, lol) I feel c**p so I eat c**p foods too (I try to eat well, I buy good foods, then the kids say my cooking is c**p) I had a hair style.......about 4 months ago.........I now have a mop, lol. My son has been sick for three weeks, I am sick and now my daughter has come down with it, I am trying to do a uni degree and I look after my niece and nephew once a week too (I actually don't know where I find the time to eat let alone sleep, lol).

Once your daughter hits that 12 month mark....sleeps well, runs herself ragged (and you too), you stop taking on so much and make sure you have time for yourself (wax and a hair cut once a month) then you have broken out of the rut. You need to make the changes yourself and stick with it for your sanity and also less hairiness!!!

Answer 6

Doesnt it suck??? My little boy is now 1yr old, but i still dont eat until lunch time when i have a morning off work, it still takes me 2 hours to

get to the shops, and yes im as hairy as a monkey too...

I feel like im always eating mcdonalds in the car while driving (cant give him attention then) and when im at home with him all i want to do is crash on the lounge and sleep.

I work 4 mornings a week and i start work at 5.30 am so i know why im tired!!

If you feel like your neglecting yourself (like i do), how bout asking your partner to take bub for an hour once a week so you can relax in a hot bath (take your razor with you!).

As for eating try having fruit around the house to snack on when your busy. (or maccas in the car, whateva works)

Good Luck!

Answer 7

I am a busy single working mum of 2. I stop feeling grotty by having a shower last thing at night then getting dressed in nice casual clothes first thing in the morning right down to my shoes. Even before you get the baby out of the cot! I clean and go for walks in these clothes, which does wear them out a bit earlier than if I saved them for good but it is worth it to be able to just nip down to the shops and know I look like a 'normal' person: Not a desperate housewife.

I keep my hair style simple so a brush sorts it out in the morning

Answer 8

I feel yah.. I have all my "skinny" clothes in a bin hoping SOMEDAY I will be able to wear them again. Lol. Before I got pregnant I had ust lost 50lbs, and was thrilled, looked the best I had in years. Now it's all back and it feels as though I will never lose it. I live in AZ so its way too hot to go for walks... and my daughter gets into everything and only cat naps so I cant use "workout DVDs"lol.

Answer 9

I think its important you make time for yourself.. you can obviously find time to come on Yahoo answers.. how about you spend half that time on your self? Also my daughter realises that mum will do her hair and make up.. while i am at it i will do my daughters... well not make up< i pretend.. but i always make time for my self...everyday.. people are shocked that i looked well after having a cecarean 3 weeks ago.. and i dont look tired... *Trust me i am rooted... i am not getting much sleep and feel like going insane with my 2 yr 5 month old talking my ear off... lol.. but i love it* However i have not had my hair cut professionally for over 1 year.. my legs get hairy lol cause my 2 girls shower with me.. but i get to shave them on weekends lol when my husband is home. I think my 2yr 5 month old has realised that mummy can be busy.. but luckily i have alot of things to distract her.. i also recommend you waking up 30minutes before your kids so you can have "you" time.. i usually wake up a t 5am so i know i will have time by my self before my 2yr old wakes up.. however my newborn wakes up between 430am-530am. Also try leaving your kids with your husband.. i did this last night i just needed to get out of the house i juist finished feeding my newborn..my husband came home.. and we needed milk so i said..feed yassy.. i need to go to the shops.. It was relaxing just to be out of the house for that 20minutes without the kids and my husband ended up feeding my daughter so she was ready for bed when i returned.

I also have skinny clothes hiding in my closest... lol.. But this time i am sooo determined to lose the weight.. i was watching dr phil the other day and his wife lost her pre pregnancy weight within 4 months of each baby and she put on over 50 pounds.. hmm i think i put on 75pounds with my first and 20pounds with my second.. mind due i probably only lost 20pounds from my first so really i still have about 70pounds to lose.. However.. like dr phil said.. you can do what ever you want and you need to do it for yourself.. how do you want to see yourself when you look in the mirror? Are you happy with the way you look? If not then do something about it right?> Its not going to be a walk in the part, its going to take alot of effort, but you have to do it for yourself.

This is why i can find time to look half decent even though i am 75kgs... Yeah i am a bit over weight but i do make time to look good.. you never know who's going to knock on your door and you want to be able to feel good even though you have a busy lifestyle.. think of it as if people realise how busy you are and you look like c**p they'll think "omg poor thing" But if you look good they'll think "wow, your doing really well" And your someone elses motivation to make time for themselfs right?

*i also try to look good for my husband.. so even if i look like c**p all day about 4pm i shower my girls and self.. and do my hair and make-up etc.. because i want to look good for him.. and i want him to come home and to think "wow i am a lucky man" He does see me drained out.. yeh he comes home and my backs aching etc but he knows thats when i relax as i've been busy all day" He's a great guy and i am proud when i can impress him... he does the same for me.

Answer 10

Well I have never been big on the hair coloring and the waxing but I totally know what you are saying about the having time to exercise.

Here are some tricks.

-Your hair is lovely, simple and natural is fine.

-You can pluck and wax from home.-this also saves money

-Walking is one of the best exercises ever and you can do this wiht your kids, stick them in a stroler and go. Pushing on a swing is also exercise, as well as laying on your back and playing airplane(put the child on your legs and curl them to you.

-Eating well is a habbit you have to get into, good for you and them. Just keep junk out of the house and eat fruit, it is quick and easy.

Answer 11

Yep for sure. Before getting pregnant I had just lost 15kg, wore nice clothes, went out and actually GOT hit on (not that I was available hehe), wore make up, shaved, kept my hair un-grotty and nails were always well kept. My 'baby' is now 2 and a half, I have just had my hair done for the first time in 18 months, I am pregnant, I am 50kg heavier than when I got pregnant with baby number 1 and yes my legs are hairy as I sit here typing this hehehe. And I wore my PJ pants all day today. I dont think I'll break out of this rut til my kids are in school. Though once this second baby is born I have a super awesome overseas holiday to prepare for so I might just lose the baby weight from the first : D

Answer 12

raising my hand here

Answer 13

Wow to be young again and to have the energy that you young Mothers have.  Blah,Blah,Blah, you all look great, you all are great, h**l, you are MOTHERS, and while you whine about it now, just wait, one day they will all be grown and you will look back and think about all the times that are going on now and you know what, you are going to miss it.  The weight loss is so that you can move faster and better (Mothers need this quality), Mothers don't need to eat, they live off of love.  Ladies, chill, it is all relevant and okay.   God Bless.

Answer 14

I try to get a bit of yoga and pilates done in the morning while the twins sleep. I'm never always feeling up for it, but I do feel a bit better about myself when I do. I only wear make up when I'm going to visit family or to barbeques. I shave about once a month because I am just too d**n exhausted to bother. I keep looking at my legs saying "hmmm, i should really shave" and then promptly fall asleep instead.

A friend once told me though, "You must take care of yourself before you can take care of you child". Don't let yourself get depressed, and if you are - seek help. Looking good isn't everything. Your a mum, and probably a great one at that. As long as looking at your baby smile makes you smile then life isn't that bad after all =D