How many of you ladies started off as a career woman when you first got married...?

Question

and decided to stay home with your children full time once you had them?

My boyfriend and I keep having debates over me working or not. He wants me to give up my job once we're married and have children and I don't think I'll want to. How many of you women thought you would want to keep working and ended up staying home?

Answer 1

I'm a nurse and was prior to getting married. I'm switching to part time soon * expecting another baby! but part time for nurses is 2 days a week so thats totally doable.

Answer 2

i ended up staying at home not because hubby made me but because my daughter wasnt tolerating daycares and quite frankly i was always doubting if she was taking care of properly . and when she became sick i just knew it would be better to stay home wit her . but i am going back as soon as i am ready . it gets kinda of boring being at home  

Answer 3

For the first 5 years of marriage I was a teacher. After my first child, I took a year off then went back to teaching for 2 more. It was so hard to leave my child every day. Then our second was born & I took another year off. When I went back to work she was only 9 months old. I cried almost every day to leave 2 babies behind. And I was so exhausted when I came home that our time in the evenings  & on the weekends was less than quality time. At the end of that year, I told my husband I just couldn't do this again. So I stayed home. In a few years we had a 3rd child. I eventually went back to work when our youngest started school, after almost 10 years at home. Staying home with the kids was difficult financially & sometimes I did miss the daily adult interaction, but I wouldn't have done it any other way. In today's economy I know it's hard to give up one income, but if you can manage you will never regret it.

BTW - it doesn't have to be the mom who stays home, though I did while my husband worked. My brother-in-law stayed home while his wife worked - she made more money & was much more attached tpo her career. It worked out well for them too!

Answer 4

I did.  I didn't miss it, honestly.  Some women do.  But I re-joined the workforce after they were old enough to go to school.  

Answer 5

I did have a career when we first got married.

We didn't have a child until we were married 8 years.....then I worked while she was in school.

It worked out well for all of us.

Compromise is an important part of a marriage.

Answer 6

I love my profession.. Before I had my daughter, I thought I could give birth to her, work, and still be the mom I wanted to be for her.  I took an extended maternity leave (7 months), then returned to work.  Because of my job, I only work 8-3:30... it could be worse.. and yet, I cried my eyes out when I dropped her off at daycare and for weeks afterward... I felt like such a horrible mother and that I should be home with her but our budget wouldn't allow for it... then, I started going by at lunch and watching her on the video cameras.. the teachers showed me portfolios of pictures of her activities.. and saw that she was so very happy, got to do so many things there, and built a strong bond of trust and respect with her teachers.  Now, I don't have a doubt that for us, I did the best thing by sending her to daycare.. but I'm a teacher, have summers off with her, weekends, evenings, holidays, christmas and spring break, etc..

The truth is that no matter what you think you'll do.. you won't know until you give birth.. for some moms.. you couldn't possibly go back to work.. for others.. it's necessary (financially and emotionally)... It's good that the two of you are discussing things now.. I think the most important decision the two of you could make together is to agree to be flexible when you do have a child and see what you feel is right then...