How many of you parents...?

Question

In all honesty, Really sit down with your children and talk about things going on in their daily lives...? Things like Drugs...s*x...Fads (ie;...the choking game, taking prescription drugs with their friends etc....)...How they are being treated at school by others...asking them if they are Truly Happy? Feel free to elaborate on anything I may have left out. I am very interested in your responses and any and all experiences you may have had with these talks...Parents and Kids.

Answer 1

I tried my hardest to talk to all 3 of my kids about everything from important decisions to the little details of their lives. When they were in elementary school, it was easy.  They talked all the time.  

Later, in the adolescent years,  I followed the advice of all the experts: using an indirect approach rather than confrontation, waiting for them to bring up whatever was on their minds, avoiding getting into power struggles, etc.  Well... they were more than happy to tell me about the things they thought I wanted to hear, like getting a 97% on a test, but (surprise surprise) somehow they never got around to telling me the other stuff, like the time my son got a speeding ticket or the time my daughter went to a party at someone's cabin....

In truth, my attempts to initiate conversations about alcohol or drugs usually got me a roll of the eyes and something like "OMG, Mom, do you think I don't know ANYTHING?"  Trying to talking about s*x was a sure way to send them sprinting out of the house. Other parents assured that me this was not unusual.

Still, I took every opportunity to keep talking to them anyway - not to lecture or make demands, just to express my values and standards when the opportunity arose.  I did tell them in words that I loved them, would always listen to their concerns, that they could call me and I would come any time, anywhere, and that NOTHING they could do would ever be so bad that I would stop loving them. I guess some of it sank in, because they turned out OK!

Answer 2

I do, I homeschool my 4 kids, and we are a close family. We talk all the time. My kids don't have the issues that come from school. Drugs, s*x, bullying, etc... They have a lot of confidence, and have great social skills. They get compliments on how well they socialize with all ages, from toddlers to old people. They hang out with a lot of kids from our small town, but I have planted a good seed in them early on, and they are not easily swayed by peer pressure.

Answer 3

My kids are not old enough for talks yet but my mom and I would take road trip and talk all the time. We would drive to the mall or beach which were all an hour or so away and just talk about anything.  Because what was said in the car stayed in the car unless discussed before leaving the car.

Answer 4

i dont think you should sit and talk about that stuff on a daily basis it makes it very akward and makes the kids not want to talk about it at all because u talk about it all the time....... ask them about how there day went and how was school but dont innterogate them  it makes them feel like u want to know everything about them let them have some privacy.

my mom talks to me about that stuff every once in a while just to check in on me and what i think about all that because kids change there mind about alot and esspecially girls and there hormonal problems haha i would know

Answer 5

My son is only 5, but I do talk to him about important things all the time.  He's autistic and starting kindergarten this year, and even though most of the time he can't answer my questions very well, I will be interested and I'll talk to him every day about what happens at school.  His communication skills are getting better all the time.

Answer 6

I can honestly say that I did. I put 110% effort into making sure I talked with each of my girls about their day EVERY SINGLE DAY. It wasn't like I got into their face the minute they walked in the door and went, "Tell me about your day in detail right now." That'd be a little odd. They'd come and tell me how school was, their evening was with friends etc...vent anything that was going on and I would ask questions about it and give my day in return. Just a daily routine we naturally did.

I made sure I established an open relationship with them starting from the time they could talk so it was ME they would come to when they have issues, questions or concerns. We openly talked about drinking, s*x, drugs, friends, relationships, family, feelings etc without any uncomfortable feelings. I never yelled, never cringed at the thoughts running through their minds, never spoke over them. This kept them coming back. I supported healthy decisions and gave my opinions/advice on those that weren't so healthy. If they were going down the wrong path, I made the final call on certain things.

I laugh with them like a best friend, listen like a sister but give advice like a MOTHER.

Good luck

Answer 7

My kids  are too young but I def. plan to have daily talks. I don't think I would talk about s*x and drugs everyday. but I will def. ask them what they did that day, and have a conversation everyday with them about things of the day. I will be having those talks I just wouldn't do those things everyday.

Answer 8

It works better to have an ongoing relationship with my kids and talk to them often about "everything" rather than to "sit down" and have "the talk." In fact, my daughter once asked me when we were going to have "the s*x talk," and I asked her what she meant because we had so often talked all about s*x ( she was probably 14 at the time) and she said oh -- I thought you needed to tell me how bad it is and how I shouldn't do it. There's no question that things come up once in a while and i'll just pop the question to my kids but, it's often just casual and things come up routinely and we just talk. I think one of the best places to talk with teens (especially) is while you are driving. They can't leave and you don't have to look at each other.

Answer 9

I am a mother of 2.....daughter 9 and son 7, we talk about everything! They ask me questions and i answer them honestly....We have an amazing relationship that i am proud of.