How many people do you think are effected by adoption without realizing?

Question

For example, my bsibling was 31 years old before my existence was revealed. Some adoptees here mention that even after search/reunion their bparents won't tell their other children about the adoptee's existence.

Answer 1

Clearly siblings are affected.  Spouses are affected -- on all sides.  It flows just like anything else.

My nfather has been married to his wife, Cordelia, for a little over 30 years now.  Within the first 2 weeks of dating, he told her all about me and that he wanted to find me.  Well, for the next 25 years, I was a part of their relationship even though she'd never met me.  She helped him search over the years and she was the first person in the family that I met upon reuniting.  She knew more about me than I ever imagined.

My siblings from my nmother (who is deceased) didn't even know I existed, as I was the only one who got adopted, even though we were all relinquished.  They didn't get adopted, so they always knew each other, as they were raised by alternative relatives.  If I hadn't have been adopted, we'd have known each other, too.  Thirty years later, they have a sister and I have a sister and brother.  My grandfather on my nmom's side didn't know anything about any of us.  He's now got three grandchildren.  He was thrilled!  

On my dad's side, my cousin didn't know about me.  My aunt never told her because my cousin is a pretty sensitive gal, and my aunt was afraid it could be very upsetting to her to know she had a cousin that she may never meet.  Family is INCREDIBLY important to Shannon.  Well, now we're like sisters.

Entire families are affected, not just the so-called "triad."  To think otherwise is a foolish underestimation at best.

Answer 2

I wasnt effected untill now! I had my kids and got on with my life, I was always curious about where I came from but Kind of put it at the back of my mind. It was only until I grew up and had a family of my own, that I acted on my adoption feelings.I know people who have been 40 before they actually realised they had feelings and curiosity.

Answer 3

Well, considering the number of adoptions in America, it's pretty safe to say that almost everyone either is related to someone directly involved in adoption (as in a triad member and close relatives therein) or knows someone who is.  

Don't forget also, friends of triad members that may consider adoption for themselves, who might not otherwise have thought about it.

Answer 4

I would think that for every child adopted there are at least two or three siblings they never met. Not counting aunts and uncles and grandparents.

Answer 5

more then you know

Answer 6

When I was a teenager, I found out that my father has children from a relationship prior to my mom.  His other children were not adopted, but my dad has never had contact with them.

I would think a LOT of people are affected by the shame and secrecy and lies that have torn families apart in so many different ways.  Having babies "out of wedlock" (which is such a ridiculous term) has been so shameful for so long.  Thank goodness all this c**p is going by the wayside nowadays.  Guess what?  People have s*x.  It's NORMAL.  And when a baby is created, that doesn't mean something shameful has happened.

Ok, I need to get off this subject because my feathers are really ruffled now.  I could go on forever, but I really need to just NOT.  Have a great day!

Answer 7

well let's see, for me, it would be

4 parents and their families

10 grandparents and spouses

16 aunts, ncles, their kids

14 siblings, their spouses, kids, cousins

my future husband and our future kids

their future kids and spouses

the list goes on.  and on, and on and on.

Answer 8

Everyone