How many people have these types of weddings? And is it important to you?

Question

With a maid of honor and bridesmaids in matching dresses, groomsmen in matching tuxes, many-tiered wedding cake, a dress costing more than $1,000, wedding rings costing several thousand dollars, chandeliers or big fancy centerpieces in a masive white tent and a sit down dinner with waiters, no kids, open bar, etc?

Like in father of the bride for instance? (if you remember the giant tent with the crystals and lights and swans on the front lawn).

I see a lot of people talking about their weddings and from the few details they give it always seems like they are having one of those big fancy weddings, but I'm sure not that many people can afford those elaborate weddings.

So how many of you are actually having a wedding like that?

And how important is it that your wedding have a certain degree of pomp or formality (such as a big fancy wedding or a small semi-formal one)

Answer 1

We had a traditional Italian Wedding. It was a beautiful wedding but only because we made it that way, not because we wanted to "impress" anyone. It is really up to the two people who are getting married. I have no regrets, everyone had a great time, that's all that matters.  

Answer 2

I got married in June and I always wanted to have the best wedding since it is my first. I always like silver and pink. Bridesmaids in pink satin knee length dresses with jackets, same shoes, same hair styles. Groomsmen in dark grey tux, 3 tier cake with pink ribbons, decorations in same colour, 1980's cars. It was a dream come true. I'll do it again and not change a thing if I had to.

To all the soon to be married couples, it doesn't matter how long it takes to prepare, how much it cost as long as its what you want. Its mean't to happen once if not, then the first one is the most important.

Answer 3

I am having a black tie wedding. My fiance is blessed with a very well paying job, and he and my parents are paying for everything. We are having an extremely formal, cocktail hour, 6 course dinner reception in Carmel California for 170 guests. It was always my dream to have an elaborate celebation, it only comes once in a lifetime! I haven't picked out my cake yet, but my dress total came to $7,460 including alterations. My ring is from Tiffany's, a 3.0ct set in platinum, I don't know how much it was, but it is beautiful! I never knew that I would EVER have this kind of celebration because I grew up middle class. It was not important to me, I would have been happy to have a small wedding just as much as a big one. It really was my fiances idea to go overboard, he wanted to give me everything I could imagine for our big day, and I am so grateful for everything!

Answer 4

Well, I actually don't have the means or money for a big fancy wedding, and the bridesmaids dont have the money to spend on expensive matching dresses either so I watch for bargains and deals online for the essentials I need, got my fiancee's ring online for $40, the bridesmaids are told what color I want them in but have the option of spending what they can afford (or even borrow) that color dress, and it is not coming out to be expensive or extravagant but going to be a fancy setting (thanx to the reception hall location that I bargained a good deal on) and hopefully a wonderful wedding!! It's possible to have your wedding look amazing without spending all that money...  However, some people really do go all out (like in the movie Father of the Bride) and spend thousands upon thousands of dollars for just one day! Also, I am using the dress that my mom got married in 30 years ago, so I guess that saved on money too!

Answer 5

I feel spoiled when I think about my upcoming wedding and we haven't gone over 12,000. I don't think i'd spend up on a wedding even if I had it sitting in the bank. Its not worth it. I'm not trying to impress anyone. We are having an outdoor civil ceremony at a gorgeous park on the river and then having the reception at a local hotel about 10 mins away. I've got nearly everything that a $50,000 wedding would have ie: dress, photographer, rings, flowers, cake, entertainment, 3 course meal, celebrant...etc. I don't see why people feel they have to spend so much for the same. lol most of the people I know who have had elaborate weddings have ended up divorced within 2 years.

Its not important to me that I'm not having a big fancy hollywood wedding. Our commitment is whats important, and getting family and friends together all at once to celebrate.  

Answer 6

No, no, no, no, no. I don't care for pomp. The dress I wore for my civil wedding cost £45 and I'd gladly wear it for the church 'do as well. The wedding service is magnificently ritualistic, and I'd love to push to have a special church, like a historical cathedral, but that's all. There is a hotel I'd love to host my reception in, a place that's a synonym for luxury and class in my city, but the reception itself would be just a champagne buffet, only with the benefit of the place's eye-popping view.

Answer 7

People talk like that, especially if they're single, and are years away from actually having a wedding.

I never liked talking about weddings with people like that, I always used to say "I'm gonna wear a white dress, he's gonna wear a tux, and dad is going to walk me down the aisle." I still say that. If you look at my wedding I'm planning now, there isn't much of that. I don't want the fancy expensive stuff that's gonna cause myself and my family more financial grief than it's worth having.

The only thing that's big is my dress, and I say that because it's gorgeous and I wanna put it on and wear it around the house all the time.

I've been watching a lot of that Platinum weddings show on the WE network lately, and those people spare no expense for their way over the top weddings. Some are cool, and it gives you good ideas. Others are just way over the top(like the woman who had to have her cake look like a golden carriage, or the couple who made the weekend of their wedding a vacation get-a-way for their guests). That's just flaunting to the world how much money you have. But other things are good, like one of the brides had custom made beaded jewelery and since I make beaded jewelery I'm doing that.

Any wedding should be a bride and grooms personal wishes, things that they want to share with their close personal friends and family.  

Answer 8

I've never been to a wedding like that, and I have been to more weddings than I can count. Honestly though, that sounds more like the focus is on the elaborate attention-seeking details that don't matter in the end than a wedding which should focus on the couple joining their lives together.

Open bar I have no problem with since I don't believe that guests should pay for their drinks (or anything else) but at the same time, they shouldn't be limited to just water if the couple decides to only serve beer and wine instead and guests in attendance don't drink either of those. There is no law carved in stone that there must be a full dinner served, much less that it must be sitdown. Buffets are perfectly acceptable and quite common. Even simple dessert receptions are acceptable and they used to be, for over a century, the only type of reception that anyone had. The same for a multi-tiered cake. It used to be up until the last year or so, that the cake was the only dessert. Etiquette dictates that everyone be served the same, it's only proper to have enough dessert/cake for everyone, even if there are some who don't take any.

Everyone has their own idea what they want. No one should be forced into doing something they don't like. While you do hear many horror stories of people spending well outside their means, many actually don't. Pick what you want, leave the rest. It's up to each couple to decide what they want to include and there is no right or wrong on the majority of those decisions. If you don't like something, you aren't required to attend.

Answer 9

I want a larger wedding because my fiance & I decided early on that we are family-oriented and we both wanted our families to celebrate the wedding with us.

Right off the bat, our guest list was 225.  We trimmed it a little to 193.  So that is still pretty big.

We aren't millionairres so we're doing things much more affordably.

We will have a best man & maid of honor plus 3 each bridesmaids & groomsmen.  I've already bought 2 of the bridesmaids dresses for only $30 each (leftover/sample sale at a bridal shop!!) and found a place to order others for under $125 each if I don't stumble upon the sizes for my other girls.  (I'm buying the girls dresses).

We will have a tiered cake.

My dress is an eBay from China special for under $300 (I was sick at the thought of spending more than $500 for a dress!)

Our wedding rings are affordable.  Mine is about $300 and his $125.

I'm making my own centerpieces for the tables for about $15 each.

Our wedding will seem like a big fancy wedding but we're not spending $100k on it.  We're skipping limos.  We're having a buffet dinner rather than sit-down.  I'm probably going to end up making the bouquets myself rather than buying them.  Our photographer is a start-up not out of school too long so she's not terribly expensive.

We decided the imporant factors were good food and good entertainment.  We picked a plainer hall that had good food at a great price and made sure we got a good DJ.

Answer 10

I am having an evening wedding that is formal in nature. My dress didn't cost thousands, but my engagement ring did. We are having a sit-down meal with open bar and dancing.

Kids are welcome at my wedding and although I think my centerpieces will be lovely, they aren't breaking the bank. I am spending about $1000 total on flowers.

For me, my wedding is a celebration of the start of my new life with my FI. I will be very happy to celebrate with whomever can make it to the wedding.

Edit: Katie, if your ring is from Tiffany's and the center stone is 3.0 carats, you are looking at $50,000 plus for the ring. Sounds like FI's best friend's wife. They grew up middle class and had black tie affair and her ring is over 3 carats, too.

Answer 11

My friend is getting married in October.  It's Harley themed.  They will both ride in on Harley motorcycles.  The bride's dress is black and white. The groom will be wearing black leather.  The cake is going to be shaped like a Harley emblem (black and orange).  She is currently looking for some black tablecloths to use.

Her wedding will be held outside by a lake and

BBQ & and keg of beer will be served at the reception.

It ought to be quite a party but I don't think it's that expensive.

Answer 12

My dress only cost $600 and we did not have it in a tent but at a country club.

So, those things aside, that was what was normal in our family.  We have big formal weddings.

It worked for us and yes we could afford it without going into debt.

If that's not in your budget then just opt for a small nicely done event.

Answer 13

I got married straight out of high school, and we paid for it ourselves, so no, nothing expensive or fancy about my wedding. I borrowed a dress, that is another story,  my sisters, who were my bridal party paid $30 for their dresses I think? I paid less than $200 for all three rings. I did all my own flowers and decorations.  The reception was held in the Church's cafeteria, I think we had sandwiches and punch. I did pay $75 for the cake. I know big spender uh?

I think all of it was done for less than $500. This past July was our 9yrs wedding anniversary, and we have been together for 12yrs. If I could do it all over again, I would not have been in such a hurry and would have saved up money for it. You only get married once in your life (at least if you are lucky) you should do it as you have always wanted to. I don't mean that I would have spent thousands on my wedding dress, but it would have been nice enough so that I didn't hide the photos, like I do now. LOL that dress was soooo ugly.