How many people stay close with their bridal party?

Question

I know it sounds odd, but as I plan my wedding I keep hearing more and more people tell stories of how a wedding tore them apart from either the bride/groom or bridal party/groomsmen. I found this shocking. I was just curious on people's personal experiences?

(I plan on avoiding this as much as possible...no bridezilla antics for me...and I refuse to expect my bridal party to do the unreasonable...although I'm sure no expects to be torn apart from their friends...but you know what I meant)

Answer 1

I am expecting to stay very close to my bridesmaids. I only have 2 but one of them is about to become my niece and the other is my best friend of 8yrs. She was there for the birth of my son and cut his umbilical cord so we are obviously very close. Same with the groomsmen. My fiance picked 2 people he is very close to...his older brother and his best mate of about 15yrs (my flowergirl is his daughter). And our son is pageboy.

Answer 2

I was a bridesmaid for my friend last October and we're still close. It helps though that her husband and my boyfriend are close (He was also a groomsmen) I think you need to work at any relationship. Maybe people say this more so about brides because they get married and get caught up in being married and have less time? I'm glad we still get together, it makes me happy to know that she'll be around to be in my wedding as well. :)

Answer 3

I think it has a lot to do with the bride/bridal party stressing out and taking it out on each other and people around them in their lives. It can bring out the best or worst in people...the the pressure point is the bride.

All the bottled up worry and anxiety in the bride can cause her to snap when she didn't mean it, a bridesmaid can take it the wrong way, and so it becomes animosity. A bridesmaid can be flakey or lazy and it will reflect towards the relationship. All the anticipation of a perfect day can turn into anger against certain people if they 'make a mistake'.

I plan to keep all my bridesmaids as close friends after my wedding, but I can definitely say that a few have really pushed my buttons.  

Answer 4

Someone once told me that (over time) you will lose touch with at least one person from your bridal party.  I thought, "No way!  Not going to happen to me!"  (We had a smallish bridal party, so I thought it would be impossible.)  But, as it happens, I have drifted some from my maid of honor (of all people!)  Sometimes, things like this happen even if we try to avoid/prevent it.

Answer 5

I'm surprised, too, that couples choose attendants who they are not close to, or who are family... that didn't happen to us.

We are close to all but one of our eight attendants (one friend of mine went down a really bad path, and we haven't been in contact). My MOH is still my best friend, two of the other bridesmaids were a niece and cousin, who we see as often as possible. Same with the BM and groomsmen.

I think problems mostly happen with couples who don't choose wisely, or feel they should have a particular 'number', so they just slot anyone in there as an attendant.

Answer 6

i think the key point in your question is that you say "no one expects to be torn from their friends.".... and you are absolutely right.

no one goes into a wedding and says, "i want to be bridezilla." and no one goes into a wedding saying, "i hope i have issues with everything that i try to do!"

i think that being in a wedding is a true test of dependability.  You have all these important people in your lives that you enjoy chatting with and hanging out with.  but...when they are in the bridal party... you get to see who tey really are.  you get to see if they truly respect you and care about you.  you can see this in the decisions that they help you make.  like if you have totally different taste than one girl... she should be able to pick something out according to your taste...not just bc she likes it for her.  and you shouls have that mind set if yu are choosing anything when you are in somone's bridal party.

you will need a lot of time from your girls in the upcoming months.  and not time to "do things for you."  just time to talk and talk aout what your thinking so you can make all the thousands of decisions that you will make.

some might not be there for you as much as you want.  you can either except the fact that that is who they really are...or yu can get angry and create a wall for the rest of your life.

no one is perfect.  no one will be exactly who you want them to be. so...just be really extra thankful for all the truly good people out there...and ignore the ignorance of the selfish ones...

good luck!

congrats on your wedding!

all the best :)

Answer 7

I expect that this is dependent on how you treat people in the first place. No Bridezilla antics for me either, and our best friends who supported us that day 10 years ago are the same people who will be with us for our vow renewal in the Autumn.

Answer 8

Pick the people that are closest to you now. Even if you aren't close with them later, you will have the memories of how happy you were to have them there. It is something you can't predict, and it isn't worth worrying about.  

Answer 9

I have been in 5 weddings and I am still extremely close to all of them.

Answer 10

that's what happens when you pick people out of obligation or to make others happy.

my girls have been my friends for the better part of 20 years and have stuck by through things WAY more stressful than my wedding, that would be why I chose them in the first place.

I asked my fiances' sister out of obligation and it all blew up in my face, good thing the wedding is still a year away!