How many people think its more important to put a career a head of a family with kids

Question

I got into it with my husbands grandmother and she thinks

that a career comes first over family and kids and that its ok for someone else to step in and raise their children

I feel if the people that have children they should be responsible for the children over a career

whats your input

Answer 1

That sounds like a loaded question, but if it wasn't for the career, how can you feed your family?  Also, I don't believe that it's noble to do something you hate for the sake of your family.  What good is it for you're family if you're miserable?  So in a way, both psychologically and financially (or materialistically), isn't it essential for the career to come first?  Most people start a career before starting a family for these very reasons.

Answer 2

I think that your first responsibility should be to your children.  That having been said, you have to provide for them and it isn't the schmucks that work and pay taxes to do so for you.  I'm not saying that this is your situation, but I just felt that it should be said.  If it is someone married to the job, unnecessarily working long hours, weekends, holidays, etc., then the priorities are out of whack.  If someone wants to be married to their work, I feel that it is wrong to bring children into the equation if you will only be a part-time parent at best.

Answer 3

lol she won't want to met me, it's family first all the way, from a lil girl I always wanted to be a mum, bugger the carer I wanted to be a Mum first and foremost. and it never changed. and now I am a mum it's my family first fullstop. who's going to look after you and visit to keep you company in your 90's when you are retired etc? A carer can't do that, but your children and grandchildren etc can, so that's where you should focus your attention on. lol that's a technical way to look at it though, for me it's because my kids and family are my world and they come first because they are my heart, without them I would be totally lost.

Answer 4

always put your family before career.

Answer 5

Actually what kind of person are you? I mean, are you a grown-up person or a kid person?

What I am trying to say is, if you love kids, by all means have them and love them and raise them. If you don't love kids, going out of your way to get married and have kids is silly and in some ways goes against your psyche, doesn't it? If you don't love kids, don't have kids, and have your career instead,and if your family asks again, be perfectly frank. You don't love kids and are afraid you would be a bad mom because you don't love kids. There is no shame in that. Some people should never have had kids - a lot of child abuse cases could have been prevented if the people who had the babies were honest with themselves in the first place.

If you love kids, be as responsible for them as you can. You are the parent - it is silly and sometimes wrong to pay someone else to raise YOUR child. When you hand over your child to someone else to raise, you hand over to them all rights and responsibilities, meaning your authority over your child is suspended when you hand that child over to someone else. I would far rather have my daughter trust me implicitly than hand her over to someone else and have her doubt me forever. So stand your ground on either side, but stand your ground. There are pros and cons for each opinion and remember your in-laws are not the final authoritative opinion, it's just their OPINION, not the truth not the end-all be-all.

Answer 6

Boy is your husband's grandmother venal!! I completely disagree.

I think that raising children to be good kind honest human beings is the most important job in the world bar none. I don't care if it is Mum or Dad that stays at home to do. A career is nothing compared to being a parent. I know it is an old saying but it is true that nobody on their deathbed ever regretted not working overtime but I bet a lot of people regret not being there for their kids. I think we have to get over

the idea that kids need 'things' and to give them 'things' Mum and Dad have both have a job. "Things' don't take the place of the parent.

Answer 7

I think a career should come first if children are not in the picture yet. Obviously it would be ideal to be finacially stable before starting a family, but it doesnt always work out that way. If children are in the picture they should definitley come first!!! it might be hard to juggle both having chilren and starting a career but it can be done! i have many friends and family members who had kids first and they have made it work. I dont think it is ok for someone to allow another person to step in and raise their children while they find a career. If your responsible enough to bring a life into this world you better be responsible enough to raise it and take care of it the right way.