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How many people think there should be TWO adoption categories in Y/A?

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I think that instead of having just one category called "Adoption," there should be two separate categories: one called "Birth Parents and Adoptees" and the other known as "Adoptive Parents and Adoptees." Obviously, anyone has the right to ask/answer questions in either forum, but that way there would be a little breathing room for everyone. Does anyone else feel the same way?

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  1. no I dont. that would be the same as being in a clique in high school. You would probably never get answers from ALL sides of the equation like here. I am not an adoptee, nor an AP or a PAP or foster parent, but I am the birthmom of an awesome bright little girl that was in foster care while I get the help I needed. This is a touchy subject and anyone involved in it has emotions and beliefs. This is a way for everyone to see ALL sides of the equation, not just the ones that agree with you.


  2. I have met some truly wonderful people thru this category - even if I don't always agree with the answers.  They have provided me with a lot of insight on topics that I generally would not consider as an AP.  And I hope in some respects, I have been able to express different ideas to them also.  The reality is as other have said, this is not a "support" group.  It is a knowledge based question and answer category.  Anyone with experience should be allowed to answer as it pertains to their situation.  Would I like to see the name calling stopped?  Yes.  But do I think that everyone - whether their experience has been good or bad - has a story to tell?  Yes also.

  3. So the adoptive parents or potential adoptive parents need protection from the "birth parents" then?  Because your division allows for adoptees to answer in either category.  I can imagine the "birthparent" question section already.

    Are you looking to place your child?

    Why should birthparents be allowed to search, didn't they lose that right when they abandoned their kid?

    I'm thinking about adoption for my child, do you really still feel sad afterwards?

    I'm seeking this woman, are you her?

    I'm sorry I don't need nor want a dedicated section to exclude this crud (with the exception of the last search question; so not crud) from the potential adoptive parent or adoptive parent's view.

    Adoption is muddy, it's not the squeaky clean image that people tend to think of when they have no real experience.

  4. I could care-a-less about someones opinion of my "positive" adoption experience. I am not here to get a pat on the back so I can feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I have ONLY one adoptee to answer to and that is my dd.  And if someone doesn't like what I have to say that is THEIR issue.

    Dd will be an adult adoptee someday.....being on here has given me a glimpse to how she may feel and that matters to me more then anything.

  5. Nope.  There are MANY forums all across the internet that are separated.  This way, it is helpful for all members affected by adoption to see many sides of adoption. If you find it offensive, go find another forum.

  6. Oh, I know!  get rid of those pesky adoptees who even dare to speak about adoption

    What has adoption got to do with the adoptee and their experience of living it anyways

    [insert sarcasm here]

  7. no, everyone has the right to answer and ask questions. No matter how their opinion differs from yours.

  8. No, I don't feel the same way.  Its all part of "adoption", so it mine as well be grouped together.  I don't see what the advantages of having two seperate forums would be.  In such a public forum, you're gonna get tons of negative/positive remarks no matter where you post questions.  If people can't handle it, then they should be more careful what sites they use.  I don't say that to be mean, its just a part of life.  People have to learn to take the good with the bad.

    Without birth parents, there wouldn't be adoptees.  Without adoptees, there wouldn't be adoptive parents.  Without birth parents, there wouldn't be adoptive parents.  Etc, etc, etc.  Its just a big "circle of life".  (cliche', I know).  :)

  9. It sounds like you are really asking for 2 categories which should be labelled "Adoption"  and  "Happy Adoption Stories".  Otherwise, you are just going to end up with 2 categories that are identical.  If you are going to allow everyone to post in both categories you will still be hearing from angry adoptees.  If you don't want that, then call the category "Happy Adoption Stories."  Then limit the posts to only those who want to hear about happily ever after stories.  I'm sure you'll have a huge audience.  I'll stick with the original group.  That's where the reality is for me.

  10. No, it is uncomfortable but I have learned a lot from reading things I "didn't want to hear."   I have also received  some great feedback  from people all over the spectrum.  This is a question/answer forum and ANYONE can respond, even trolls.  That's what makes this fun.  It's sort of a love/hate thing. I want to pull my hair out but I keep coming back!

    As said by others, if I were looking purely for support I would go elsewhere.

  11. there should be 3 lists actualy,,, they should have one for adoption from foster care....

  12. If this were a forum yes, but it is a question answer format, and all parts of adoption are good here to get a diversity of questions.  To truly talk about my experiences as an adopted mother, I usually go somewhere where I know I won't be judged.

  13. No, I don't think so. I like to hear all sides in one place. There are other public forums for isolated topics.

  14. I agree with you...there should be two different adoption sections...I know I don't come here much any more because if you have a different opinion then most...you get slammed...reported for stupid c**p...and the attacks keep going...I have noticed that some ppl seeking honest help and advice at times don't get it...I'm not seeing much positive coming from here any more...which is sad...because some have very solid...good advice

  15. No, I don't think there should be different forums. I think the valuable thing about Y!A is that it's opinions from everyone involved with adoption. Admittedly, you often have to wade through a lot of ... nonsense to get to the valuable stuff, but it's the opinions from first moms and adult adoptees that I come here for.

    Y!A isn't a support board. It's design - question/answer - makes it a place to do just that: ask questions: research, gather information, seek out opinions, add your opinion based upon your experience, debate.

    There are plenty of other places online that are SUPPORT boards - some are fabulous, and they exist for all sides of the triad. PAPs/APs don't belong on support boards for first parents or adult adoptees, and vice versa. But this board is a place to discuss adoption - you can't have a true conversation about adoption without ALL sides talking about it. I don't come here to garner support from other PAPs/APs - I go elsewhere for that.

    ETA: Well put, WarriorM!
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