How many ways do people need to be compatible in a relationship?

Question

I heard there are like 50 different ways a couple needs to be compatible to live happily together.

I heard somewhere else there are 4.

Does anyone really know or know where I can find this information?

Answer 1

It depends on who's website or which research you're looking at.  Human beings are way too complicated to be easily explained away, but the "experts" sure try.  Ultimately, there's millions of things that vary between us and even if you have everything in common, if one person isn't willing to do the work when the going gets tough, the relationship is doomed.  

While I certainly think a couple should have more than just chemistry in common, I've also seen some of the oddest couples last far longer than other couples we were sure were going to be together forever.  Statistically, the best reliability for a successful marriage is that both of you grew up in the mid-west; the least likely to succeed-you guessed it-California.  Stuff like that never makes it into the compatibility tests, but then again, my aunt and uncle have been living in LA for 45 years of marital bliss now and they're one of the oddest couples I know.

Personally, I think the best test is how do you get along with each other's friends and do your friends like your partner?  In most cases, our closest friends know us better than we know ourselves and if they say things like "I don't see what you see in him" or "you act completely different when you're around him", then you should be concerned.  On the otherhand, if you all get along famously and it's like adding a member to your family, then you can probably trust it.