How much can I get for an average sized church on an open market?

Question

Since I got married I have no time left for the Church of Bipolar Opposition and the MINIONS. I have an offer from a German "gentleman" of one used trout, 12 vintage drain fluffins and a pair of rainbow speedos worn by a supposed poet caveman from Suffolk... Should I take it or hold out for a better offer?

Answer 1

If this is a computer game, it depends on the game.  If it's in the real world, a church is worth as much as any other comparable building in the same location, or perhaps a bit more if a religious group wants to buy it.

As far as numbers, that varies greatly all over the world.  Real estate isn't worth the same on one street as it is on the next street.  See an experienced real estate broker (not an agent, speak to the broker - churches are a specialized market).

If you're talking about selling a congregation, it's not worth anything.

Answer 2

yu tri tu sell a cherch????

I didnt no theer is a market in cherches.

Answer 3

No moonei in cherches, no worth in congregations, no time for us.

Everyone wants us you know! I am surprised there aren't more offers on the table. I'd hold out for fresh veggies and dip plus nachos and salsa, a couple cases of seedless oranges and a 12 pack of fruity flavoured edible undies.

Answer 4

Hahaha! muneepenee said theer is no monye in cherchs.  

Answer 5

It sounds like a fair offer for the church, if you are including the MINIONS you maybe under selling, however if you just selling the building, I'll make you an offer for the MINIONS.

How about if I offer you a used willy warmer for each two heads?

Answer 6

We want the cash register and its contents of exactly $13.58

Your keys to the locker

Your wheelchair parking space adjacent to the dumpster and

also all the missing Bingo cards you stole with the number 43

So nobody won anything in your raffles except you.

And Salty our mascot too.

BTW You're fired and don't come back crying for the job.

Answer 7

I have it all in hand Mahster

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/my/profile;_...

Answer 8

I see you are trying to sell off the Church whilst retaining the assets of greatest value. Oh Yes I refer to the Bed Sea Scrolls, that collection of semi decomposing bongo mags hidden under your bed following the last visit of the holy mother. Without these hallowed documents the basis of the Churches theology ie Frantic Wankolism will be undermined. To quote the prophetic words of the angel Miss July " I just like lots of shagging"