How much does it cost to Foster-Adopt in Texas? What are the restrictions?

Question

Is there a website I could go to? My husband are thinking of Foster/Adopting. We live in Texas. We are both only 24 though. We have 2 children already.

I'd like more info. Thanks!

Answer 1

Try the state website; it's probably www.state.tx.us

Somewhere under their health/human services department you should be able to find the foster requirements.

Here:  http://www.government.texasonline.state....

Answer 2

Foster-Adopt is not actually free, but it is as close as you can get - even cheaper than giving birth unless you were on Medicaid.  ;-)  

You will have to pay for your homestudy fees, possibly some court fees (depending on the county you live in), and it's possible that you will have to pay fees for some of the classes you'll have to take (about 30 hours of different types of parenting classes if I remember correctly) - again depending on exactly which county you live in.  There are also fee waivers available in some areas.  All of this usually adds up to less than $1000, maybe $2000 if you factor in paying for childcare for your other kids while you're in the classes and in court.  This is less than the Child Tax Credit that is available from the IRS (after you finalize the adoption).  You will also be eligible for Foster Parent Reimbursement (around $600/per child) during the time when you are fostering, and all or part of this stipend may continue after the adoption depending on how the child you adopt is classified.  The same is true for Medicaid benefits on the foster/adopted child.  If you adopt a handicapped child, or one with special medical needs, the state will continue to provide medicaid for that child even after the adoption.  

I have a bit of advice!  

Do it!  Do it!  Do it!  Carefully! Carefully! Carefully!.  

I think you have to "technically" be 25 to adopt from the state (thought that doesn't stop you from starting the paperwork now) and I know they don't recomend adopting until after 30 - but the after 30 thing is a "recomendation" not a rule, so don't let them try to tell you it is.  My parents adopted my two brothers when they were 25 (or 26, can't do the math this late at night) and I was almost 4.  

It was totally worth it (in the end) but our family did go through some rough times.  I really think that if you have it in your heart to adopt a foster child, you should.  However, I want to give you the benefit of what we learned, as a family, comming "out the other side" so to speak.  

My adopted brothers are now 25 and 23 - they were biological brothers, and my parents were told when they adopted them that they were born with severe Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  The state gave us (well, my parents, but us as a family) very sketchy information about the birth family at first.  All they told us was that the parents were not married, but were in a "committed" relationship.  They (as a couple) had two boys older than both my brothers that were also FAS, and one boy born between my brothers who was FAS.  Those other boys were in foster care or adopted homes elsewhere in the state.  We were not provided with the names or locations of those families.  

My parents were told that FAS children often made great strides once they were in a loving home, and should be "almost normal" as long as my parents did everything they should.  This was NOT true.  Both boys were mentally retarded.  While the older one did make great strides once he was in our family (instead of being bounced from foster home to foster home) it would have been hard for him not to.  At 3 he spoke less than a dozen words, had no idea how to give a hug (he would stand with his arms limp - he had to be taught how to hug back) and though that giving a kiss was looking at someon and saying "muh".  However, nothing was going to change the fact that their brains were damaged from the alcohol (and come to find out - other substances) that they'd been exposed to in the womb.  The first neurologist my parents took the boys to after the adoption gave a much grimmer prognosis than the state had.  He said both boys would have to be institutionalized before they were 10!  Luckily, with a good home, and lots of love, they did improve.  Neither boy was ever institutionalized, and now both are living in "group homes" which are NON-institutional supervised homes for mentally handicapped adults that help them live semi-independent lives and be part of the community.  The older one is actively working towards being able to live even more independently, while the younger one is quite content with getting to live around all his friends.  

As you can see, on the whole, it was a success story.  However, taking the state's assessment of the boys at face value set my parents up for some severe frustrations in the first couple of years.  They felt like the boys should be making more progress, making faster progress, and that it was their failing as parents that was holding them back.  This obviously caused tension in our household, and led them to be extremely strict with all of us - myself, my adopted brothers, and my first biological brother who was born 7 months after the adoption.  I think things may have gone even better if they had only been given accurate information, and if more resources had been available to them for understanding what was and was not normal for the situtation.  How could they know how much was from the boys dissability and how much was from assimilating a new family?  Extra stress has never done anyone any good, and it certainly didn't help my family.  There were far more hurt feelings than there needed to be, all because of mis-information and lack of support.  

From the biological child's point of view:  

Here is what my parents did "wrong" that they might have done "right" had they only known.  When presenting the adoption to me, they played down my brothers handicaps, and mentioned nothing at all of the problems they might encounter adjusting to a new household - or the "negative" changes that would occur in my life from having two more children around.  Instead, the way they explained it made it seem like I was getting two live-in "playmates".  The visits with the boys at their foster homes did nothing to dissuade this notion, since those were obviously designed as "playdates" for the new family, and we always went home afterwards.  Thus, I was being set up for an extremely rude awakening when the adoption actually happened!  My brothers' handicaps meant they were "good for nothing" in terms of being playmates.  (I remind you, this was my 4-year-old thinking)  Because they were trying to get them to assimilate well, my parents were showering the "new kids" with attention.  All anyone ever wanted to talk to me about what how it felt to be a "big sister" or what it felt like to not be an only child anymore, or what it was like to have little brothers.  None of them wanted to hear that I didn't like it, and I knew that, so I guiltily just told people it was great!  My parents even had to get a new babysitter, since the one I had gone to since birth couldn't accomodate two new kids.  All in all, it made me very resentful of the boys at first.  My mom having a new baby only a few months later did NOT help matters!  

Back then, people didn't do family counseling, and certainly never took their kids to counselors just to "work things out" - but it would definitely have helped.  Instead, I had to work things out on my own.  It took me years of agonizing guilt because I knew I resented the way my life had been turned upside down, but also knew I should love my brothers.  I was 7 before a literal nightmare was actually a dream come true.  I dreamed my brother (the older and more handicapped one) died.  The amount of total devistation I felt in the dream meant that, upon waking, a weight lifted off my shoulders.  I knew now, for a fact, that I would never go back and "undo" my brothers - so even if things weren't always perfect, I no longer had to feel like a horrible person.  I knew now that I DID love them, and wasn't a totally hateful unnatural little girl.  

Wouldn't it have been wonderful if there had been a way to work through all these things before they had festered for years?  

My brothers (particularly the younger adopted one) also had trouble growing up.  Because of his FAS, he was extremely emotional and prone to unconrollable anger.  My parents never hid the fact that my brothers were adopted from them.  How could they when they were adopted so old?  We also kept up relations with the younger one's foster family and the other two biological siblings that were born after the adoption.  (My parents almost adopted those two as well, but a sudden illness in the foster mom led to them being placed with other foster families who wanted to adopt.)  My brother would often vent his frustration with his life by focussing on the fact that he was adopted.  This would cause the other adopted brother to become very confused, and start questioning whether or not we really WERE his family.  It also used to very much upset my younger biological brothers (all 3 of which were born after the adoption... 7 months after, 5 years 7 months after, and 9 years 6 months after) because they felt like they're "big brother" was rejecting them.  It was also hard on the one born right after the adoption to grow up with "big brothers" who so often did not fit the typical "big brother" role in life.

Again, all in all, everything worked out in the end.  There were just SO many things that could  have been "better" if only we'd been able to identify them and work them out earlier.  Just because we had pain doesn't mean the adoption, our family in essence, wasn't worth it!  In all ways it was!  I just want other families to be able to avoid some of the harships if they can.  I think the biggest way you can do this is by understanding what pitfalls can occur, and taking periodic "time outs" to step back and look at you family to see if they are happening.  I also recomend at LEAST one year of twice monthly family counseling to get you through the initial transition period.  After that, it may be good to continue (even if not on all that frequent a basis) just so you have an "outsider looking in" who can alert you to any problems before they can get bad.  I know counselling is expensive, however, so there are other ways to get most of the benefit.  

First, join a support group at a local church or civic center for other adoptive families.  See if you can find one that focusses on children adopted from foster care - or families that have both biological and adopted children.  

Second, if you have a good family friend, ask them to take a "time out" with each family member once or twice a year.  Maybe make them a "checklist" of questions they should ask.  Talk to each of your kids, and let them know that when it's their Special Day with "Aunt Martha" (or whoever) that they can say whatever they want, and don't have to hide anything.  "Aunt Martha" won't repeat anything they say.  "Aunt Martha" shouldn't repeat anything they say either...  or at least not exactly.  He/She should only be there to alert you to any potential problems.  To say, "Hey, you might want to spend extra time with Billy because I think he's feeling left out" or "Maybe having Margie babysit is putting too much stress on her relationship with Jack" - things like that.  

Lastly - jounal!  You don't have to do it every day.  Once a week or once a month is enough.  Just sit down and evaluate how you - as the parent - is feeling about your kids and your parenting role.  Then, every few months, trade jounals either with your spouse or ask a close family friend to review it.  He/She might see a pattern that you're missing, and be able to give you advice on how to alleviate some of the parental stress.  

Most importantly, be honest with both your biological and adoptive/foster kids going into the adoption.  Work hard to get the state to be honest with you.  The fewer misconceptions you have at the beginning, the better.  You want to know what's going on.  You want to have as much history as possible on your adopted chid, so you can help them as much as possible going forward.  Similarly, your kids need to know the reality of what's going to happen.  For most kids, getting a new brother or sister totally worth it, even if they know it is going to come with some costs.  The important thing is to explain the "costs" to them and get them "on board" honestly to begin with, that way you can avoid having them blame your new child for the "losses".  

I hope you and your husband have good luck.  Bless you for openning your hearts to a child in need.  I wish you and your (hopefully soon enlarged) family all the best!

Answer 3

Call your local Health and Human Services Department.  They will get you started on PRIDE classes and get started on your application / background check / and homestudy.  It's really not a difficult process, just long.

Answer 4

KUDOS to you for considering this!! We definitely need more foster parents!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually it doesn't cost anything really, you actually get reimbursed of course for expenses.  Depending on the child's level of care you will get between 18$ per day, I think (for a child with no severe problems, etc.) to 100-in-something$ per day for a child with lots of issues and therapeutic needs.

You only have to be 21 so of course you are old enough!

Here's the website to go:

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/

Also you can also foster through private homes such as www.childshome.org if you live in the Lubbock area.

THANKS for wanting to be a hero!