How much does it cost to adopt domestically?

Question

And how long does it take? Ive heard that it takes a shorter amount of time than internationally... My husband works for a company that gives up to 20,000 dollars toward adoption expenses.

Answer 1

WOW, that's wonderful, 20,000 would more then cover an adoption.  Never heard of a company doing that, you are both very lucky.

Please, please, please adopt domestically.  One, there are so many children right here in the USA who need loving parents.   Does it have to be a baby?   Baby's take about 2 to 3 years on any list to get.  I know as a fact many horror stories about people thinking the adoption they were doing internationally was legal, later losing the child back to the country it came from because it wasn't a legal adoption.  

People act like there is no one in need right here in the USA, when there are hundreds of thousands of children 2 to 8 years old, who desperately need a loving home.   Everyone wants a baby.  If I were healthy and could adopt, I'd adopt an older child, becuase I know how great their need is and I understand the problems they may come with, but I've seen the miracles of a loving home.

I was adopted into a family that abused me.  I was abused in my first one as well.   I ended up with this family, becuase the state and church that was trying to adopt us out, could not find one family who wanted me and my siblings.    It was a huge mess; even when they found me a home, they had to open up old cases where parents had been denied an infant and ask them to take me.  That worked out HORRIBLY.   I just went from one severely abusive home, to another.

So consider that even a toddler can fulfill your need to love and though they may have some problems, most just need love, kindness and patients and loving discipline to know that their are rules and that the rules are because they are loved.

You probably want a baby.   So at least take the time to adopt right here in the USA or whatever country you are from.  Adopt and care for those in need in your own country; be open to any race though.  The child doesn't have to look like you to be family, to love you and for you to love them.  

Realize that with any adoption, the mother can back out, anywhere from 24 hours to 6 months after placement, depending on the State laws where the mother resides.   Many do back out, especially teens who may think they can give a baby up, but soon as they see it they can't,e even if it would be best for the baby to go to a two parents home, with mature parents, prepared to take on that extreme responsibility.  So say you are asked by a birth mother to give her money for clothing, medical.  If you do so, you lose it even if you don't get the baby.  

Learn about open adoptions and closed adoptions.  Most mothers now days are wanting an open adoption.  

Whatever you do, insist that the biological mother and father when possible, write up their life story, even why they are giving the baby up.  Every child will ask.  If you think you can hide the adoption, you are lying to yourself.  The child always finds out, always.   They end up angry at the adopted parents if it's been kept a secret and I've seen it ruin the relationship with the adopted parents.   Just tell the child every year on their birthday something like this.  "You were so special, becuase we got to choose you from all the babies, and we saw you adn just loved you so much we had to take you home to be a part of our family."    If they ask if the birth parent loved them.  You always say yes.   Telling a child no, will destroy them at any age.  You just say, "your mom and dad were young or they were not in a position to give you the things that mom's and dad's provide for their child, so they loved you so much they wanted to find parents to adopt you whom they knew would love you and provide those things for you.   They'll be asking by the time they are about 4 or 5 if you are open.    Never say things like, "If they had loved you, they would have kept you."  "We love you more then they do."   Those words lead to nothing but pain and can push the child away from the adopted parents and make them fantazies about the ideal birth parents.  

I've known people who've done it internationally and those domestically.  If you only want a baby, it is longer here in the USA.  If you want a child to love, then for a child 18 months to 8 years, it's about a year to 2 years domesticallly or internationally, from the time you being the adoption process, all the paper work, you and your husband will have to go through a background check.   Bad credit, get it cleared up first; that is considered grounds for denial.  Having a savings account with several thousand in it.  Owning or buying a home is always considered a plus.  Having taken a parenting class is a plus.   Having only one parent working is a plus when you want a baby or toddler.   Showing a history of budging well, staying out of debt for everything except the major things like a house and a car.   Basically having a stable life for the child to become a part of.   History of drug use in the past five years will go against you.  History of DUI of anykind within the past five to ten years, can be reasons for rejection.

Whatever you do, here is what my Aunt told me about her adopting her two girls, if only all adopted parents felt this way.  You are taking on someone elses child, you are claiming to offer it a better life then it would have with the biological parents.   So be better then you would have been had you given birth to your own biological child.   She said she always thought of it as when she died and ment her children's biological parents, would they be happy with the job she did.

Keep a diary or photo journal of your journey of adoption.  WHY?  Kids needs it.  They need to see how much they were saught after.  Kids in biological families they usually have pictures of mom pregnant with them, pictures of their birth.   So you want to provide a history of how you went about getting htem, so the effort it took, do not mention the cost, they were not purchased.   But show pictures of your hsuband and you with a sign of something saying, "Waiting for our baby."  "Hope we get a baby soon."   Something that shows you were ancious to adopt them.    Make sure someone comes with your husband and you when you pick up your adopted child, to take pictures of that moment, you'll be too happy to remember to have someone else take pictures and you don't want it to be you or your husband.  All your attention should be on the baby or child.  

As far as cost, you will save a lot by going with a religious organization adoption agency.  I know that the Catholic Church runs an adoption agency, as does the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints.   I'm sure other religious do as well.  They cost less, because they are not for profit or state run, but they do have to abide by the same laws and conditions for adoption.   Whatever your faith is, check to see if your faith runs an adoption agency.  Check out their credentials with the state, check out the credentials of any adoption agency you work with.   Adoption done by an attorney alone are some of the most expensive, but doesn't make them the best.   Compare cost of fees, higher fees doesn't make it a better agency.  Talk to people in your area who have done adoptions, see who they worked with.  You will be required to have an attorney for hte legal part of the adoption, most adoption agencies can recommend you someone if you do not have an attorney you trust.   Be careful, some private adoptions use their own attorneys and that's where a lot of the problems in adoptions have come from.   You want to work only with an adoption agency that in Non-profit, that has been established for 10 years or more, has a good listing with the better business beauro.  

Ask as many people as you can find in your area who have adopted in the past couple years, about the agencies they went through, costs, and the attorney's they worked with, any problems they had.

BE INFORMED, this is a life decision that you need to have the best information available to you, before just jumping into the adoption process.  

This may sound mean, but any marital problems you and your husband may have.  Take the time to work them out first, really resolve htem.   If he or you are abusive verbally or physically, do not adopt until you have gone a year without any abusive behaviors.  A child will only make this worse and a child deserves a non abusive home.  People often make the mistake of believing that their marriage will be better, their problems will all improve soon as they have that sought for child.  It doesn't happen that way.  Whether through birth or adoption, a child normally brings new stress into the home and unresolved issues between the couple seem to become worse.

Best wishes that your home has one more soon!

Answer 2

The time can vary a lot for domestic adoption. Once you are certified to adopt it can take anywhere from a few days to 2 years to be chosen by a prospective birthmother.

International adoption time frames vary a lot too, and are not always that long. both of our boys were adopted from korea, and it took only 5 months for them to arrive home after we turned in our applications (both times)

Domestic adoptuion fees can range from about $10,000- $40,000, but it's often around $20,000 total. Remember that you'll also qualify for the $10,000 tax credit after the adoption is finalized, so it sounds like you'll be reembursed for most if not all of the costs.

Answer 3

a lot

Answer 4

It all depends on the agency. Ours was a private placement that ended up costing us $3,000. She was 3.5. When researching agencies, find one that will provide therapy/support for bparents for a LONG time after placement. In utah, I know of *2* different agencies that place AA babies within 90 days...for appx 15K

Answer 5

I'm not sure about domestically, but when I husband's step-brother and his now ex-wife adopted out of country it cost them about $30,000 each (They adopted twice)

Answer 6

If the adoption is private the lawyer fee is about $750. It won't take nearly as long if you go through your local dept of family and children service, unless you must have an infant. That could take forever.

Answer 7

Our adoption cost us $21000 when it was all said and done.  That includes traveling from South Dakota to Texas, birthmom expenses, interstate compact, agency fees, and lawyers.  

We worked with an agency called Family to Family Adoptions Inc.  They really are a wonderful agency, and the only thing you pay up from is the application fee (which was less than $300.)  We were in the adoption process for 3 1/2 years total, but once we found Fam2Fam we waited less than a year for our beautiful baby girl!  She is healthy and wonderful, we were able to pick her up from the hospital and take her home.  Although, plan on at least one of you staying in the state (if adopting over state lines) for at least 1-2 weeks while all the interstate paperwork is completed.  My husband and I went to Texas together to meet our daughter, stayed 5 days and had to go home to work.  I continued on for another 5 days to wait for the paperwork.

If your husbands company gives up to $20,000 toward adoption, that should take care of most of it!  Plus you get a little over $10000 in tax credits the next year.

Good luck...if you have any more questions my email is [e-mail]

Contact informations for Family to Family is

fam2fam.org

281-342-4042