How much does the relationship that I had with my parents affect me now as an adult?

Question

This question is based upon the way I react to my wife and to women in general. It's kind of a love/hate, hate myself thing, and can be very intense at times.

Answer 1

A lot...What we learn as being acceptable in our childhood is committed to memory in both the conscious and, subconscious. We feel as if it is normal and acceptable until later on when we allow change and grow up...Then we realize that our behaviors with how we treat ourselves and others in our sphere of life require improvement, change.

I think this can be where the phrase Mid-life-crisis can come into play but in fact it can happen anytime in life.

If you can not work it out with your wife as a team...seek help for yourself, your wife and your family...

Learn to identify the negative emotions and energies before, during and after your experiences and adjust accordingly.

Many people would not know how to live if they we unhappy and or a victim all the time...never knowing they have a choice on what to do  what to feel and which animal they wish to feed deep within.

There is much disappointment and negative energy out there but Love is the strongest and can overcome...

Good luck!

Answer 2

If they structured you and parented you, you Will be able to love and be fine.

If they were off and on to your needs of being nurtured and directed most likely you will be a bad father and husband.

Answer 3

It affects you much more than you think. In many ways you have been programed from a very early age to be a certain way. My Mom and Dad had a very special relationship. They had gone steady from the time they were 14 and 15 and then got married when my Mom turned 21. They never argued or screamed at each other. They always had a lot of fun. They went out dancing every Saturday night. We ate family meals together and my Dad would always ask us what new thing we learned that day. We would tell jokes at dinner and laugh a lot. I just thought all families were like this. I know now that they were the exception. I really expected this when I married but I married the wrong man. His childhood was completely different than mine. His Dad and Mom would fight and argue all the time and at family dinners the Father handed out punishments as to how they all acted that day. It caused so many problems that I finally divorced him. I remarried a few years later and have been married to him for 35 years. We were brought up almost the exact same way.