How much involvement is to much involement from ex-husband new wife she seemed okay at first but seems as if ?

Question

she wants to control what me and my ex-husband , weay we deal with our children,and he let's it happen making me feel like alesser person,how much is to much involvement from new wife.

Answer 1

It is absolutely none of her business how you both choose to deal w/your children.  I don't agree w/new spouses being involved in anything other than the happiness and well-being of the children when they are in their presence in their home.  You need to tell her right now that this is not acceptable and you also need to inform your ex that you will not be dealing w/his new wife that is for him to do not you. He married her not you.  I think it's also important for you both to talk w/your children to see how they feel.

Answer 2

Controlling is not good in any relationship - but as for how much involvement is too much - to answer that ask yourself how much involvement you would like for their step-father to have if you remarried.  Wouldn't you want your new husband to be involved with your children?  I have to disagree with the answer that said any involvement was too much because I had a wonderful step-father who raised me just like I was one of his own and though I never called him "Dad" he was a gift from God.

Answer 3

dont talk with her more than necessary...just to pick up the kids...keep it short and sweet and hit the road....thats what machines are for right?

Answer 4

if she has to help take care of the children when they are at his and her house then she has every right to be involved. when it comes to your house and other things outside his and his new wife's home she has no business getting involved. iam a new wife and i never get involved with my husband and his 15 year old daughter and his ex-wife. iam 33 years old and iam not ready to be a step mom anyways. i only treat her civil when iam around her, but to go out of the way and try to bond with her? that is  not my place. i married her father and  that is who iam obligated too, not her or her mother. just like she has to get use to you being in her life because your those kids mothers and your going to have to except that that is his new wife who has choose to be with now and if your kids are going to be  involved with their father then they are going to be involved with her too.

Answer 5

Sounds like both she and the X need to understand that she should have very little involvement. If she can't understand the proper boundaries she's most likely psychotic and jealous, very ugly mix. I hope that's not the case. Good luck.  

Answer 6

You can't control what goes on at their residence, only at yours.

It's bad enough the kids have to go over there, share their dad with another woman (and kids if she has any), and then feel like they really don't belong.

And then if you have a new husband, again the kids are caught in a situation where they have to share you with your new husband, and his kids.

I think ALL the adults need to come together for a discussion regarding the boundaries.

That way it's none of the he-said, she-said BS.

Your thoughts and concerns are out on the table, and you don't need to negotiate. Compromise yes. Negotiate, no.

Answer 7

Unfortunately you are the "lesser person" so to speak.

SHE has every right to have a say in how and when he/they do things. SHE is now his wife. THEY have a life together, and everything must fit into it. As long as she's not interfering in the relationship he has with the children you two had together than I'd say she's well within her rights t o be "involved"

Not an easy situation to deal with, but it is what it is...BE the "bigger person" here and try not to let it rent too much space in your head

Answer 8

its none of her business,and this is what causes most of the problems.she needs to back off, and u need to tell your ex how u feel. these are your kids, and not hers and u need to speak up and confront her.

Answer 9

Unfortunately the wife will be involve as long as your ex lets her. There is not much you can do except to marry your ex again so there will not be other woman raising your kids when you are not there.

Answer 10

i personally think any involvement is too much.

your children are NOT her children.

you and your ex have your own way of dealing with your children and her methods shouldn't really be used unless you approve of them.