How much research should one do before adopting or relinquishing a child?

Question

And where can one find credible research on adoption issues such as the adoptee's experience, how biological parents fare post relinquishment and how to have an ethical adoption?

Answer 1

Well the adopting part of it should be an easy decision to come to, however finding out all the info takes a while and is alot to read and find out about. You can go to a really great place called Adopting.org, there you can read stories and experiences. When it comes to giving a child up for adoption, well that is for some parents one of the most difficult things you will ever face. For other they know it is the best thing for the child so facing it is not as hard.

Answer 2

You should read adoptee blogs.  Just google adoptee blogs.  

Check with Ethica on ethics in adoption.  Read all that you can to understand all sides of adoption.  I have listed a couple of links to get you started.

Answer 3

goto the adoption agency and ask for a bio and lots of info on the kid

Answer 4

As much as possible, and look it up...?

Answer 5

LOADS of research. That's a pretty seriouse thing.

Answer 6

I would go as deeply into the background of the child/children as possible. 1.Go to: "Research your answer" on your question page. 2. Type in: Adoption/General Information 3. Go to: #2.

Answer 7

Ask [e-mail]. Her and her husband adopted my 2 grandsons when they were 11months and the other one was a few days old. If anyone would be honest with their answers to you she surely would. I'll tell her you may e-mail her.

[e-mail]

Answer 8

A LOT!

I'm not sure of a good resourse for parents considering relinquishment , I'm sure some others will jump in on that one.

A great resourse for pap's wanting to adopt ethically is informedadoptions.com

Answer 9

Tons of research!

I am a first timer at adotping, but did atleast 4 months of research before contacting adoption agencies. But my sister, who found out at 23 that she couldn't have children and has adopted 9 kids and is adopting twins(she is going to raise her friend's children when they are born) did 4 YEARS of research with her husband.

First I'd get all the books you can and look through search engines(Ask, Yahoo!, Google,etc.) and talked with friends that have adopted.

Then after atleast a year of research, contact an agency and see if they are willing to put you on your list. I put myself on 3 adoption lists, as did my sister, since you have good chances of getting a child.

As for bio parents, 3 of the children my sister adopted are over 18 and she raised them from the time they were either they were 6 months to 2 years and they obvisolly wouldn't remember there parents. She told them when they were 5 and told the others at 6.

Fees differ from state to state.

Answer 10

Some great suggestions already.  I just want to emphasize that ALL aspects need to be researched.  The perspective of the child is usually overlooked.

Often "research" consists of reading information that we already agree with or only from the perspective of the adoptive/relinquishing parent.  Research that does not challenge preconceived ideas is not research.

Never ever use information from adoption agencies, facilitators, or lawyers as "research".  It is sales hype and propaganda.

Answer 11

Answer this instead: are you willing to take the risk that you will devote yourself to this child no matter what? A child is not a pet, it cannot be put up for adoption like a commodity and is your responsibility. A child is worth more than the parent and something that you will go to any ends to protect and ensure a proper future for. If you only one of you have a chance of survival,  in the most dire situation, you must be willing to commit suicide for this child's future. A child is tied to you through bonds beyond human reasoning, a force more powerful than anything that is, will be and was. You are willing to accept what ever you receive,  regardless of what you think of it after it is too late. Children are miniature adults, they destroy things without a second thought. Will you be prepared for such a task? Such a responsibility greater than any else one can ever take? Will you be truly prepared to meddle with the future, to leave behind in this capsule a small piece of yourself to live on? Will you be able to, without second thought meddle in the ways humans are come to be, and are? This is not a game for mere fools to meddle with. This is a decision one must make beyond themselves, because if they decide wrong, they will perform and ultimate taboo.  Do not think twice, think many times before you make a decision you regret.

Answer 12

Amy mentioned Ethica and reading blogs written by adopted persons.  This can really help you to see things from a variety of adopted persons' experiences.  You may also want to read blogs written by natural parents to see how they fare.  The organization Concerned United Birthparents (CUB) has a good online pamphlet called "What you Should Know if You're Considering Adoption for Your Child" that can be accessed at http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd...

Answer 13

Those are great questions - I wish all birth parents considering adoption would think that deep. I think there is more soul-searching needed than research. I think you really need to consider the child and the parent's needs first and foremost - and do not allow others' beliefs influence a parent into making a decision that they will have to live with...and possibly second-guess or regret. Everyone will have their opinion - but THEY will not be rasing the child. I would find a very, highly reputable adoption agency and discuss your concerns with them (just over the phone, staying anonymous if you wish). I have known several moms who chose to relinquish their rights at birth - not a decision they wanted, but knowing the child would be in a better environment than they could provide at the time. You can do an open adoption and there are so many choices about how much contact to have or ot. You can even sign in the contracts to have pictures or updates sent, if desired. But, sometimes that can make it harder on the bio-parent. If a bio-mom makes the solid decision, knowing she is being unselfish enough to put her child's best interest & future first...then she can wake up each day knowing that she gave her child her greatest gift at birth. I was adopted and thank God everyday my bio-mom chose to place me for adoption. There are many great resources on the web, and hotlines where you can call an agency's counselor for free, etc. We're hoping to adopt in the future and I hope things work out for the best!!

Answer 14

the public library has lots of info.