How much should I give my son and his future wife at the wedding if I am paying for the wedding itself.?

Question

How much should I give my son and his future wife at the wedding if I am paying for the wedding itself.?

Answer 1

Honestly, paying for the wedding is such a gift in itself! My parents gave us some money to put towards our wedding, and we considered that a very generous wedding gift.  

Answer 2

Your gift is the wedding.  They should be so lucky that you did that much.  However, if you can still afford a gift after paying for the wedding, then it can be whatever you would like to give them.  The amount spent on the gift is not a concern, give what you truly want to give.

Answer 3

The wedding is your gift.  And most weddings are 5-figure sums, so your gift is likely a substantial one.  No need to give beyond what you're spending on the wedding.

Answer 4

Don't give them one red cent!

I bet he had everything handed to him all throughout life anyway!

It's HER parents who are supposed to pay for the wedding!  That's her dowery.

They raise her to adulthood and then pay your family to take her off their hands, then your son provides for her the rest of her life.

That's how it works.  That's tradition.

If they have anything to say about you not forking over yet MORE cash, toss your hands up and exclaim "You're Welcome!"

Answer 5

I wouldn't give them money....I would buy something instead...it's more sentimental......and I know if my parents would of paid for my wedding.....I wouldn't of been getting anything...and I wouldn't expect anything....but if you have the money.....try giving them a 3 day trip to a nice resort or cabin with hot tub....

Answer 6

How much money do you have?

Are you paying for the entire wedding?

If so that could be a present, but, well give $1000 cheque or something, because well they'll probably blow it on something.

Yea I said 1000$, it may be a lot, but well if your son gets divorced and married again, then you give him nothing.

Answer 7

When our son got married, we paid for 1/2 of the wedding and although they didn't expect a gift...we took them out to select a living room set as our gift to them for their home.

Answer 8

You are very generous to have given a wedding celebration on behalf of your son and his bride, and no-one could ask you to do more.

Traditionally, the groom's family had no responsibility to host the wedding party, but would give the new couple their household hollowware (the silver serving dishes) whilst the bride's family (who give the reception) would give the silver flatware. A set of flatware nowadays, being stainless steel, can be had for a couple of hundred dollars, but silver will run a few of thousand. Hollowware has similarly changed: nowadays people are as likely to want pottery as silver, and the price-range is similar to the range for flatware.

So, based on those old standards, you can give a large or small gift as you feel led by your own spirit of generosity and the wisdom of your thrift. You have already given more than is expected. If you wanted to give a gift of servingware as well your generosity would be profoundly noted, and you can give what suits your taste and your intimate knowledge of the couple's taste.

Although yours is one of the few relationships close enough that giving cash is acceptable, it's always wiser to give a gift. Of course, you know the couple well, but even coming from a father or father-in-law a new couple might bristle at the thought that they stand in need of charity -- which is what giving money suggests.

Answer 9

If you're paying for the wedding, you shouldn't feel obligated to give them anymore money.  I wouldn't expect anything more from my in-laws or my parents.  ]

Answer 10

I would not obsess about it, you gave them a wedding, that would be all I would want, were I the bride. I would not be expecting anything else.

If you wish, find something of a keepsake nature to give them, something like a album[s] for the photos, some really nice frames for wedding pictures, maybe an anniversary clock.

Or find something to give from your heart, something that takes time and and not a huge amount of money. A recipe book of family recipes, a scrapbook filled with wedding memorabilia, a shadowbox with keepsakes. Or dig deeper, and do something like teaching one or both of them to cook or bake, or teach a crafting skill. Or volunteer to help with a rehab on a house, or paint an apartment, if that is needed. A nice card with such a promise in it would be great. I'd love you forever for such a gift. Even do something that costs nothing. A nice card with something to the effect of what a great son you have, and now have a new friend/daughter to share it with. and maybe a promise to be there, only when needed, LOL, or if wanted you will be the emergency babysitter for any children from the marriage[yes, that might be a dog or cat or parrot].

If you wish, give them a card with some money in it, explain that it is intended to be pocket money for the honeymoon, but of course they can spend it however they want. I'd think that $150-$250 would be fine for such a purpose. More if you have it.