How much should relatives contribute for a cash wedding present as requested by the bride and groom

Question

how much cash instead of present

Answer 1

Copy and print your question and the answers you have received and put it in an envelope with £5. More than enough to buy a matching pair of his and hers socks for those cold winter nights.

Answer 2

stupid tacky question. next...

Answer 3

I would decide what I had planned on spending for the gift, then I would add another $20.00 along with a thank you note for allowing me to skip the painstaking task of searching through store after store, spending both my time and gas searching for a gift.

Answer 4

I will give them nothing for being greedy.

If you must, then $100

Good luck

Answer 5

That's pretty tacky that they requested cash.

Give what you would have given had it been a regular gift.  If you would have spent $20 or $200 then give that.  

Edit--OMG that is beyond tacky!!!! I wouldn't give them anything!!!

Answer 6

I wouldn't give them anything. How dare they demand money from their guests. Greedy.

Answer 7

Call me old fashioned, but any bride and groom asking for money probably wouldn't get me at their wedding, let alone get any cash!

Answer 8

The same amount you would have spent onthe gift, as someone else said. Asking for cash is so tacky. I would also put the cash inside an ettiquette book...

EDOT: I just re-read the question with the poem and my jaw dropped and I laughed out loud. I would HAVE to write a poem back, I wouldn't be able to help myself!

"We looked at the pots and pans and towels,

We search the lamps and even garden trowels!

The store was filled with thrifty shoppers,

My wife bought herself a blender before I could stop her!

But since nothing there was fit for you two,

We went and bought shoes and a dress - brand new!

So on your wedding day when you're looking for your cash,

Check out the wife's dress and shoes - they don't clash!

We thought long and hard of what gift would be nice,

But since you have it all, we got the wife some ice.

You've got the house and the toys and don't want any fuss,

So instead of cash you're getting US!"

Answer 9

I don't how prettily or cleverly it's put.....one NEVER asks for cash or even a gift for one's wedding......a gift is given out the generousity of one's own heart, it's not a requirement, it's not a ticket paid for attendance, it's not a gratuity......

Wedding gifts are traditions...NOT requirements.

To ask for a cash gift when any gift is really optional and up to the discretion of the giver is a big fat etiquette No-No and smacks of begging, greed, or just plain bad manners.

If it were me, I'd respond with a very clever little ditty of my own.....making clear that I was exersizing my option of NOT giving a gift...wow.

Your invite in the mail was very sweet

To share in your day is oh so neat

But since Miss Manners says to ask for cash

In your wedding invite, would be rather rash

Since a gift's not required, but comes from the heart

To ask outright for one is not very smart

So to prevent others for thinking you both are stupid

I'll just send a card...if you were me, I'd know that you would.

Besides, since sameness of gifts seems to be one of your troubles

There'll be no  greenbacks from me, avoiding matching 'doubles'.

(dealing with all those twenties can be a drag)

Answer 10

Whatever you would have spent on a present anyway, but I find it really rude to be told (requested) to hand over cash.

Answer 11

One dollar for the age, in years, of the groom

Answer 12

I would probably just get them a gift. It would be too impersonal for me to just give someone money as a wedding present, not to mention its rude to ask for it (especially in the form of a very bad poem). A couple should be thankful for whatever they get and not expect money.

Answer 13

Wow how did they word that I wonder...

If they are already set up in housekeeping it makes sense that 2-3 new blenders would be a hassle. Or sets of bath towels not in the color scheme bought at Pic n Save for example or Walmart would be undesirable. So in lieu of purchased gifts, monetary contributions would be appreciated is understandable. I would give as other answerers suggested. The amount of the gift you might have given. I generally would give a check in the amount of $50.00. But I figure on the gas to go shopping, the cost of the gift, the gift wrap, and the time to do the wrapping, the card. That is how I arrive a that price. As in my family, a huge family I cannot afford more than that either. And really all the cash adds up to a nice sum. They can shop for the colors and quality they really want. And a gift check is tax deductible on your part.

Answer 14

about £100

Answer 15

If I actually got a request for cash from a couple, they’d get NOTHING. Wedding gifts are never to be requested.  

Answer 16

I don't think it is tacky at all.  It is no more tacky than those women who register at the store, and write down all the presents they want.  So, why not just say "cash".  It makes it easy for everyone.  I always give around $100 to $200.  If you don't know the people very well, then just give about $50.  If you want to save a little money, then give a $50 savings bond.  It will only cost you about $37.50, but it looks nice to be giving something that says $50 on it.  

Answer 17

People should never be told what they should give, it should be entirely their choice.

Answer 18

whatever they want to give and however much they can afford.

there is no rule saying you have to give a certain amount. its a gift, not a payment

Answer 19

I agree entirely with Lindsey W, perhaps its an english thing, but I find its best to at least let word be passed around that money is more acceptable than another tea towel or a lamp that doesn't match anything.

I am having this problem myself for my wedding as its second time around for both of us and we have everything. I asked this question on yahoo and was almost slated for suggesting such a thing, why are people so uptight about things like this.

Its tradition to give something as a gift and I dont see the harm in requesting money in a way that does not offend, accepting gifts of things that will not be used is a waste of the guests money.

Good luck Lindsey for your wedding, mine is in June.

As for Kristy "top contributor" and garnet glitter - omg how rude would that be to send back a poem with those words on it and STILL go to the wedding, now that IS being ignorant.

Answer 20

OMG !!!!!!!!! You lot on here are bleating on about etiquette and tradition blah blah blah but if it was a question about black wedding dresses I’m sure you would all say do what you want "it's your wedding"........

It's NOT rude to ask for money or vouchers at all !!!!!! I think asking for money is no ruder than having a gift list from a department store, your still asking for something. Seriously what will a couple who live together want with 4 blenders and 6 bales of towels ????? not to mention a horrid salt and pepper pot that will never see day light again, it's a waste of money ! Least this way the couple can buy what they want and they know that it will match their house, then it has not been a waste of time or expense on the guests behalf, trailing round shops for days on end looking for that perfect gift that costs £50 when you easily could have put £20 in a card and have it done in less than 20 mins...

I would say put about £20 in a card, if you don't want to put cash ask them what there favourite store is and buy a gift voucher instead.

Answer 21

Sorry, but that is SO sad.

I definitely would not give cash - and would maybe bring a nice vase.

Answer 22

I would ignore it and give whatever I was planning on giving in the first place. It may have been a check, or it may have been a swirlie butterfly thingie for the garden. Either way, it's entirely up to me what gift I choose to send.  

Answer 23

We usually give between $75 to $100 per person. so if my wife and i go, its between $150 to $200. If our daughter also goes we throw in another $50