How much time is reasonable to spend at the in laws?

Question

First things first. My husbands family is a bit much to take. They are constantly arguing and fighting with each other. (Its just they way they interact with each other but the complete opposite of my family. It stresses me out because its so tense all the time!) His family all lives in a different state. Everyone goes to his brother's house (10 people altogether). My husband wants to go for 4 days this year. I would be willing to spend one night but 3 nights with all those people in one house is chaotic. I have mentioned getting a hotel room but he thinks that's crazy. Do you think I am being unfair by asking just to spend 2 days instead of 4?

Answer 1

4 days out of one year will not kill you.  Just go knowing what to expect and don't stress yourself out for their normalcy.  If you start to put up a wall between your husband and his family you will find your marriage will start to crumble.  

This is the family that raised him.  They did a well enough job to produce the man you love, so go and put a smile on your face.  If it is going to be overly-crowded at this house then yes, I would totally suggest you look up cheap, close hotel rooms that are nearby to his family.  This way you can have a retreat away from them but he will still be close by.  

Go for the 4 days and know that the remaining 361 days will be stress-free.

--EDIT:  Even so, if you still see them frequently through the year the best thing you can do is let your husband have his time.  Go with a smile and just know that 4 days isn't that long.  Especially if alcohol is anywhere around.  :)

But yes, get a hotel room.  There is no reason in this day and age why people feel the need to impose on others.  Get real sultry tonight, splash some perfume and tousle your hair.  Then, when hubby is good and excited, tell him he can have more of this in your own private hotel room.  You'll be his Christmas Bunny....

He'll book it tonight!  Good luck!

Answer 2

I think you should either:

A. Go for 4 days but spend your nights in a hotel

B. Go for 2 of 3 days and spend the 1 or 2 nights at the house

C. Go for 4 days,spend the nights in the house and take about 5 bottles of Tequila!

4 days out of 365 is by no means unreasonable.  I'm assuming he doesn't see his family often and just because his family doesn't interact the same way yours does,doesn't mean he loves his family any less than your love yours. Flip the situation around and think about how hurt you would feel if he said he could only handle 2 days with your family. If you go into this assuming you will have a bad time and be stressed out you will be. Go with a good attitude and it just might not be as bad as your are building it up to be. And like I said...if all else fails take tequila! (works for my husbands family, haha)

Answer 3

I like the idea of no nights, go to a hotel and be STREES FREE

Answer 4

Oh boy - geez - definitely try to compromise something with your hubby - if you could go just for 2 days rather than 4 that would be great - bring it up to him gently lol - hopefully you both can come to an understanding - i know what you mean about being stressed/tense - it stinks - hopefully it will workout for you....

Answer 5

Have you explained your feelings to him that you are willing to spend time with them but you need some time to recover each day by staying in a hotel. Keep talking until you reach a comprimise.

Answer 6

make it an adventure for him to stay in a hotel. plan a s*x filled getaway each night. bring a schoolgirl and french maid outfit and dont forget the handcuffs. tell him you wont wear them in his brothers house but in the hotel its game on!