How much trust should be put in those who work in the adoption industry?

Question

My first mother's case worker pretended to befriend her. She talked her out of marrying my biofather on several occasions. She was dishonest about many things and kept me from my mother after I was born even though she had helped my mother to write out a birth plan before my birth. This was over thirty years ago and still there seems to be a lot of corruption in the industry today. Allison Quets. Stephanie Bennet was referred to an adoption agency by her highschool counselor. the agency advised her to run away from home in order to relinquish her child without her parents' knowledge. When Stephanie Bennet changed her mind and legally won her rights back to her child, the adoption agency urged her child's potential adoptive parents to go into hiding.

On a celebrity level, adoption workers told Angelina Jolie that her adopted child, Zahara's firstmother had died of AIDS. Turned out to be false.

Are people who work in adoption honest?

Answer 1

Well, who CAN you blindly trust these days?  I mean seriously, when priests are turning out to be child molesters, superintendents are stealing school funds, and just about every public agency has taxpayer money being stolen by someone in power, why would you expect adoptions to be clean of it?  It is sad that they are not, but most of the world has it's dirty spots these days.  The thing is, people should know by now that you can't take something on face value.  You have to do your research, think on your toes, and most of all make your own decisions based on your own core values.  Adoption is such a sensetive topic, and it is close to the heart for everyone involved.  Whether you're thinking of relinquishing a child or of adopting one, if anyone you're working with gives you a bad "vibe" or seems to contradict themselves - don't work with them anymore.  It isn't like there is a shortage of adoption agencies.  Most adoption guides and books recomend you check out at least 3-5 before you choose the one you want to work with.  

In the end, the only one you can trust absolutely is yourself.  You have to count on your own judgement, and stand behind your own decisions.

Answer 2

Trust?  Adoption industry?  That would fit the definition of an oxymoron.

I think that there are very, very few adoption workers who are honest.  Most hide behind the guise of being social workers, but functionally, they are more like real estate brokers or car salespeople.

Answer 3

I feel confident in saying that my social worker is an honest person.  Our SW deals only with PAPs and APs and encourages them to do more research on attachment parenting than the basic seminar that is required to adopt and has stressed openness and honesty when talking to children about their adoptions.

I thought that was the norm until I started reading other forums.

Answer 4

Blind trust - definitely none. There might be a few good social workers out there but I wouldn't blindly trust anyone in the adoption industry without doing major research first.

I can tell you that the social worker who handled my adoption lied to my natural mother about my adoptive parents.

I think past lies and deception are one of the many reasons agencies and the NCFA fight so hard to keep records closed.

Just the sheer fact that adoption is a multi billion dollar BUSINESS complete with slick marketing campaigns (which anyone who works in advertising knows costs a bundle) is reason enough to question the trustworthiness of anyone in a business that is out to make a buck off of the sale of a human.

Answer 5

well not all ppl are dishonest

but definitely there are

so it's always best to have your guards up and not to lsiten to what others have to say regarding serious important decisions in life =)

Answer 6

I always thought it strange that in the US, there is no licensing for adoption 'professional' and a code of ethics to which they must be held.

Think of all the professions where you have to pass a state exam in order to practice: attorney, therapist, plumber, manicurist!

It's nuts!

Answer 7

There is a lot of agencies out there that are dealing in dishonesty.  I think adoption agencies are seriously lacking in ethics and morality.  I think its gotten to the point where money has taken over.  They don't care about adoptees, natural parents nor the adoptive parents.  These cases and many many others are the reasons why adoption reform is so badly needed.  Their books need to see the light of day.  I seriously worry for all of us in adoption.

Answer 8

Put ZERO trust in the adoption industry!!!

Answer 9

..... hmmmmm...... billion dollar industry...... corrupt? Speaking from personal experience, I can vouch for that.

I can't stand Angelina Jolie. Of course she has to go out of the country and adopt. Everyone here knows that she has been intimate with her brother, steals other women's husbands, has been in all kinds of trouble. She's remaking her image at the cost of women, who have had their babies stolen from them. What  a role model.

Answer 10

I would put absolutly 0 trust in them, because they are there to MAKE MONEY. MAKE MONEY. MAKE MONEY.

They're not there to see that the childrens best interests are met.

Answer 11

There are always sharks who prey on those who are vulnerable.   Adoptive parents should absolutely be wary and not look for short cuts in the process.  Any promise of a "quick" adoption is a HUGE warning sign.  It it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.  So, be skeptical, do your research and find a legitimate path.  The information is out there but, sadly, it is often ignored in the rush to move forward.

Answer 12

Now, knowing what I do abou the Industry - zero trust.

When I was younger and a little more impressionable I would have trusted them blindly - after all they are the 'professionals' and know what they're doing, right

I'm glad I'm older and wiser now, but I do feel for those young people the adoption industry preys on and can only hope they are making fully informed decisions

Answer 13

Everyone we dealt with was very honest and only had the care the children in mind.  Some of have been less dedicated, and some less good at their jobs.  But none are dishonest as your describe.  

However, we adopted through the foster system and most of the people we dealt with were either volunteers or generally underpaid (working for the state or for non-profits).  When I read some people paid $20K for their adoption I have to wonder if that sort of money doesn't attract the wrong sort.