How much would you be willing to lend your parents during difficult times?

Question

This is kind of a tricky question. I have lent my parents quite a lot of money, so much that I have had to borrow money to send to them. My father has been effectively out of work for about a year now, he has worked hard at finding a job, but hasn't been able to find one that can pay the bills. It is a sad story because my father took money out of his 401k to pay debtors when he should have declared bankruptcy. In the end he had to declare bankruptcy anyway but now he's lost his retirement as well through a series of unfortunate circumstances.

My mother is now the bread winner of her household, but it isn't enough.

Answer 1

your parents need to contact their local medicaid office to get help in living expenses....

Answer 2

I have done the same for my mom and 2 old brothers who both have credit problems and one does not have a job.   I came to a point where I learned that money does not solve money problems.  It is very unfortunate what family members go through even if it is your parents but you can not put yourself into debt like they are.  Eventually, things will work out as they always do and if they don't pay you back, you will feel like they did not appreciate it and this is how it was for me.   All my life I helped them out financially and I never thought I would recent them not paying me back, but deep down it is no money lost it is loved lost between family members and now I don't talk to them anymore because their problems got to be to much for me to handle especially over years and years of me trying to help them out financially.   You might think you are helping them, and I know you want to but in the long run remember....money does not solve money problems...it is change in behaviour that solves money problems.   Good Luck to you dear.

Answer 3

What ever I had.

Answer 4

It's a bit of an epidemic in this country that points in part to the economic downturn and in part to people's very own irresponsibility.  In this case probably both are in play.  You enable them to some extent.  You need to teach them, show them, responsible behavior.  Now, your own behavior has become irresponsible in taking loans to help them.  They made a huge mistake in cashing in a 401 K.  Not a good answer for this problem, it's hard to reverse bad behavior.

Answer 5

If it is at all feasable can you move in with them? I would rather move in and pay rent to my parents to help them out than to pay rent at an apartment. If you own a home then have them move in with you for a while. Even if your dad got a part time job at a grocery store or Walmart that would help your mother some. Have you talked to your dad about that? Some income is better than none. Sometimes when someone makes good money on one job and they lose that job, it is humuliating to take a job of lesser pay and status. But it may help if you tell him it is okay. Your mother must be extremely burdened and stressed right now. Help as much as you can, but don't cause yourself to have financial problems if you can work things out with different living arrangements.

Answer 6

Whatever they need. I'm a model, and I make 1 million + a year. I would do anything for them.

Answer 7

As a parent, I would never put that kind of a strain on my children. They can either get state aid or work 2 jobs or both. There is always a way and sponging off your children is not one of them. You should also expect them to pay you back! They would you.