How muchj 2 do u luv ur adoopted child?

Question

ok dont want anyone 2 take offence... just wandering. how powerful is the love 4 an adoptive child as much as a child that is biologically urs? if u have a child that is biologically yours can u/ do u love ur adoptive child in the same way. also if ur adoptive child wants to find its birth mother how does that make u feel? i hope this causes no offence i think people who adopt or foster are amazing people... i just want to kno

Answer 1

This is an interesting question, thanks for asking it.

My adoptive parents adopted me and my oldest brother, and had one son naturally.  I have to say, without a doubt, there was no differentiation between their love for any of us.  They loved all of us equally, with as much measure and equality.

(I perhaps was a bit more spoiled because I was the baby of the family and the only girl, lol).

Answer 2

LOL So you are one of the yoing people I was referring to.. with your oh so see through TEXT Shortcuts

And to answer the question my Adoptive Parents loved me more actually..

Answer 3

I have both and I love BOTH of them with al of my heart.  They are so different from eachother and have their individual qualities.

Once a week we split up and each take a kid. I usualy meet a friend for dinner and he goes to the carwash (hey, they love it) and his parents. then the next week we switch kids.

As much as I love them, they are actually closer to eachother. When 1 gets put in time out, the other one sits with him/her. When we separate that 1 time a week they cry for eachother (that's why we keep doing it. They need to learn to get by without being linked at the hip).

I guess you can associate it to the love you have to your spouse.  You're not blood related, but you could die for them and can't imagine your life before them.

ETA----

I don't want my son to ever have to SEARCH for his first mom. I want him to know her. He's met her and has met with her g-ma many times. We share so much info that it would be VERY unlikely that we would lose eachother. She has #'s to my family members, as I do hers. I spent all of my teen and half of my 20's SEARCHING for my sister and it was so emotional and heartbreaking  when I found out that she didn't even know I was looking and she lived 5 MILES DOWN FROM ME!!!! I would never wish those feelings on my child(ren).

Answer 4

I know you don't want anyone to take offense but it is offensive. It's okay to ask this question though. I can tell you mean no harm.

Why wouldn't we love our children, adopted or not? I don't think anyone has come up with a way to measure love yet, either.

I love my daughter so much. I cry thinking what my life would be if she weren't in it. I can't imagine a day without her. She's my whole world.

Sadly she will never find her birth mother because she died in childbirth in Russia and she left no information at all about the "father". But I have planned for us to return to the city she was born in, in the future.

eta: What is it with you trolls pouncing all over this person's spelling and grammar, sheesh, lay off. Are you so uneducated and prejudiced that you can't wrap your tiny minds around a question from someone who has apologized and can't help it that she/he has dyslexia? Either answer the question or go somewhere else and pick on someone your own size. I'd love to see you do the same within your own anti-adoption ranks, jerks, and that is putting it mildly!

Answer 5

I would hope they would love them the same

Answer 6

I agree with a couple of the other answers-there's no way to measure love.

People are all so different, nobody can understand anyone else's feelings, thoughts or capacities for love the way we can understand or feel our own.  What one person feels, another may not, and vice versa.

All I can say for myself is that my children are my whole world.  Biological or otherwise doesn't come into it for me, they're my children and I love them.

As for them knowing their other parents, I just want what's best for my children and what makes them happy, as any other parent does.  I really can't answer for anyone else though, it's a decision that you'll have to do a lot of thinking about.  Good luck!

Answer 7

I have children that are in their 20's that text me 3  or 4 times a day and I have had to learn what they were saying. Like I lov u. Fyl  and ect.

   I hope they love the child the same it's just like being remarried and have other children. the child that is a natural child from the couple is going to be either treated like the baby or a little bit more special. This child is going to have the upper hand and will use it because they are children.

   This happens all the time. I think it's more father's that are the ones that treat the child different something about blood.

Answer 8

I don't think the question is offensive at all! I have an adopted counsin and I think his parents love him more because they wnated him so badly before he arrived! Yes the bond is just as intense

Answer 9

well biological kids have a special connection with there parents because they are part of them. adopted kids dont have that special connection but you should love them like you would love your husband or wife anyways (minus the s*x)

Answer 10

I understand exactly what you are saying and the question is not offensive, only over the top PC freaks are gonna see it that way. In my opinion, it totally depends on the parent. Look at all these little 15 year old s****s who have a kid to keep up with their friends or just coz they got drunk and knocked up - This is not me saying 15year olds cant love their kids, just some seem to be this way ! They dont care particuaraly about the kid, but then you could get someone who has wanted a kid their entire life but for whatever reason hasn't ever had and they go through so much **** to be granted a child under adoption they are gonna love it so much. I find it strange that it is very hard to adopt with the tight process (which obviously needs to be in place to stop peadophile rings adopting) but anyone as long as they can get pregnant can have a kid and dont have to go through the stringent regimes that you do for adoption.

I'll bet there are a h**l of a lot of guys out there who have lived their entire life thinking they have so many kids and in actual fact they are not the biological father, their name may be on the birth certificate etc etc and it may never come out.

Adoption is a very very complicated matter and whatever anyone says someone is goona take the opposite view.

My dad was adopted and had the pleasure of meeting his biological mother before her passing, and got on well with her - but to me she was always a close family friend NOT my gran. I think to be a parent is about raising a child, instilling morals and manners and teaching that child to be able to go out into society and do the best for themselves and others around them. DNA does not make for a mum or a dad (as opposed to mother or father)

Answer 11

I'm not offended.

My adoptive parents had four children, two of us were adopted.  

They obviously loved (and favored) their bio kids.  I understand it now, as an adult--who can blame them.

I don't think you'll get many to admit it though.  It's very politically incorrect.

Answer 12

i have one step daughter and 2 birth daughters so its the same as adoption i guess and we really want to adopt. my husband had a baby before me and i had one before him and we have one togather,we love all r kids the same i cry when his daughters hurt and he smiles when mine accomplishes a goal you feel the same kids bring joy and love its not there birth you bond with its with them in genaral and who they are.and who you teach them to be and what morals you instill in each of your kids from birth or not.we love all are kis the same

Answer 13

All my children are children of God and I am so very blessed to be their mother.  

To answer your questions... Yes they are both just as powerful.

I don't know if you can love any two children exactly the same way because no two children are exactly the same.  So the same way no but with the same amount of love yes.  (individuals respond differently)  Hope i'm being clear here.

Here is the easiest way i can break it down.  Bchild in the beginning is a little easier cause you are familiar to them.  It usually doesn't hit me until my bchildren are 2 to 3 months start smiling or cooing then i'm like OMG i would give my life for her!

Achild in the beginning is a little harder b/c they aren't comfortable w/you.  You spend months showering them will extra love, attention and reassurance.  After 2 to 3 months they look at you or reach to you like you are their world.  Immediately its like OMG i would give my life for her!

If I'm honest i don't have that instant Powerful love after giving birth.  I don't know why.  maybe sleep deprivation?  IDK

We are in contact with both of our Birthfamilies.  To be honest there are times i have insecurities but I love my children more.  Having a relationship with their Birthfamilies is what is best for my girls.  I truly like, admire and respect both Bfamilies.  My insecurities are my problems and i will not let them damage the mental well being of my girls and the peace of mind it gives our Bfamilies.

I love all my children with every fiber of my being. Each is such an unique and amazing blessing to raise.  I am the luckiest mom in the world and i try to tell them this each and every day. It is an honor to be a mother not a right.

Hope i answered your questions.

Answer 14

To answer your question, the only thing I can say is this....

If I needed to, I would lay down my life for my son - adopted or not.