How natural are "natural roles" for you?

Question

Once again, we have another question about why feminists refuse to play their "natural roles" (not taking into account the fact that many feminists have been housewives, naturally). Maybe I'm alone in this, but the thought of forever living as the nurturer and the recipient of protection actually gives me a physical reaction. If other women want to be housewives, that's their prerogative, but not having a career would feel unnatural to me, and having children would just be a disaster.

Does anyone else feel this way about traditional masculinity and femininity?

Answer 1

I think it all depends on what you mean by 'natural roles'.  Historically, women have generally been expected to be subordinate to their husbands.  historically, however, women have also been expected to contribute to the family economically as well.

The seperation of home and workplace that led to it being difficult to be both a housewife and a moneymaker led to the situation of the stay-at-home wife who cares for home and family while the man goes out to work.  This has really only been the norm since about the late 18th century.

If you are a modern woman with children, you can either be a stay-at-home wife, with subsequent loss of status, money etc, or you can go out to work and improve your financial and social status, but be permanently knackered all the time.  I prefer to settle for less money/status but not be exhausted and stressed out trying to 'juggle'. Also I never had a career, only a succession of jobs, most of which I found quite boring. Not to mention I never earned much above the minimum wage, so I wouldn't necessarily be finanically better off than I am now even if I did go out to work, most of what I earned would go on childcare.  However, if you don't have children then I don't see any problem.  Few people nowadays think that a woman without children should stay at home.

Answer 2

I agree with super in that I don't really contemplate gender roles in my day-to-day... I have gone to school, and am working in my chosen field of work... someday it will be time for children, when that day comes me and the hubby will decide what we are going to do so that we can dedicate ourselves to being the best parents to raise a productive happy member of society that will enjoy the same freedoms I enjoy...

I have enough to contemplate and worry about, gender roles are low on the totem pole.

Answer 3

"Maybe I'm alone in this, but the thought of forever living as the nurturer and the recipient of protection actually gives me a physical reaction. If other women want to be housewives, that's their prerogative, but not having a career would feel unnatural to me, and having children would just be a disaster."

Its all about YOUR choice. Nothing more, nothing less. Since, in the end, you are responsible for whatever happens in your life, you shouldnt worry about what others think is the best choice for you. All I can say is that one will get to truly know that life isnt all black and white and there are gray areas only when they live THAT life. Everything else is textbook knowledge and hearsay.

Answer 4

You have thousands of years of evolution working against you.  There are some species out there where the females make kills (lions), but generally the female animal of most species is more camouflaged to protect their nest and babies.  The males are highly colored and aggressively defend the nest and family.  Don't get me wrong, if you step between a female bear and her cubs, you're going to get roughed up, but generally, she's doing it to protect and nurture.

It seems as though nature has developed its own system, far above our societal changes.

Answer 5

Each to their own. I think feminists are all about choice and equality - the choice to have a career or a family or both. So well done feminists - we now have the choice to be housewives or careerwomen.

Answer 6

I do. I feel exactly the same way. I was a housewife for a short time (in my very early twenties), and I never got any satisfaction out of it. I need to be out, creating a life for myself (outside of the life with any man I'm with), establishing myself in a career and trying to make a difference in the world.

I also know men who thrive at home, taking care of the kids and the house.

So, no, I don't think that traditional gender roles are at all natural. They are a social construction.

Answer 7

well, women are not doomed to be housewives. They only differ in anatomy and burdened with pregnancy. other than that, they can live as free as males.

if men lack love and distance themselves from their family, leaving the mission of bringing up children to the mothers, then it is not strange for the women to hate being bound to a family.

Answer 8

natural roles fit me sometimes, but usually don't. i am a mishmash and i assume most people are.

i am a nurturing person, i like to help people and i am a mother. my co-workers jokingly call me their mama sometimes because i'm always restocking the band-aids and making them tea when they're sick. that's just how i am.

however, i am also aggressive, very focused on my impending career and very independent. i can't stand the idea of someone "protecting" me, but i also know when i need help. i could possibly be a housewife, but only until i got out of college because i really do have big dreams when it comes to what i consider my talent, writing.

Answer 9

Hello Rio

your Independence is an illusion, we are the most privileged public in history. women are surrounded by technology, laws, medicine and systems that protect and like it or not they are man made. to live without the protection of men you would have to move out of dads and isolate yourself somewhere remote.

i also think asking about traditional roles is a bit redundant because women are not bound by them. the only women who are chose to be. its up to you to decide what you do with your life, don't want kids? don't have em then. do remember that you are still quite young and you biology might very well override this decision at a later date.

Answer 10

In thinking your question over, I realized something very important - and perhaps - something that explains why I feel one way, and many feel a different way....

I have NEVER thought about natural roles.  Sure, the subject comes up now and then in conversation or on here....but I've never thought about it to the point that I would have a physical reaction!  

I suppose if I spent any time thinking about the idea of being 'protected' and 'supported' and 'nurturing' every day for the rest of my life - it might make me feel a little twitchy.  But thats simply because of the monotony of that thought.  

Being nurturing is a natural instinct - either you have it or you don't.  And if you don't - you won't do it - simple enough.  Same thing with the need to be protected or supported - for some women, it is a natural thought and lifestyle, and would be perfectly natural and happy for them.  

Apparently, for you, it isn't so.  No harm, no foul.  For you, or the other women.  Different instincts, different paths.  I won't try to fit you into my pigeon hole, and I certainly won't belittle you for your choices.  Now, I hope you will grant me, and others like me, the same courtesy....

Answer 11

Yes of course. I live life the way it comes naturally to me. If I want to do something and it doesn't hurt anyone I'll do it. I'm not going to force myself to be something a very small minority of people think I should be. I'd never even thought that much about gender roles until I came onto YA and I think if I mentioned some of the questions / answers here to my friends they wouldn't be able to pick themselves off the floor from laughing so hard :-)

Basically role playing (outside of the bedroom :-)) is for children who cannot comprehend the complexity of the world and of human nature. I feel sorry for these people that they cannot understand the amazing variation and intricacy of individuals, and it's even sadder that they don't even WANT to see this, but that's ultimately their loss.

Answer 12

While I'm not sure I feel just as you do, I cannot see anything at all 'unnatural' in your self awareness and personal choices.

Surely the way each person feels about their own life and life choices is what is natural for them?

That's what having a choice is all about ~ to be able to decide what is best for oneself.

If the idea of a certain lifestyle feels unnatural to you, you are certainly better off aiming for something else!

And best of luck to you ~ naturally :-)

Cheers :-)

Answer 13

I was a single mom who worked in a factory that was a natural thing to do.It is a"natural role"to take care of her children and to protect them.I was in an abusive marriage,my"natural role"kicked in to protect so I became a single mom,had to get a job to take care of them so I would have to say it was"natural role" that created my "feminist" trait!

Answer 14

No problem with it

It's nice to have a choice though!

Answer 15

When I was younger, I wanted very much to be a mother.  I have NEVER had any interest in cooking or cleaning.  If any of my pregnancies had come to term, I think I would have developed a motherly instinct and wanted to feed my child and keep a safe environment.  If you carry the child in your womb and then nurse or bottle-feed, I think the instinct becomes habit.  As for doing these things for a full-grown able bodied man, I don't see the need.  He is not helpless.

Answer 16

pretty natural!..

Answer 17

I have no problem with that.  I enjoy being a mother and a career minded woman.  I am also glad that I grew up in a time when we had a choice.  I hate staying at home all the time, which is why I work.  I would have gone Lizzie Borden on someone if I couldn't work. LoL

Answer 18

roles in our society have changed and in my personnel opinion, i have worked went to college held down a party time job and have two children there is no longer a natural role the burning of the bra seen to that so you carry on enjoying your life the way you want it not as others say it should be

Answer 19

I think liberation for men and women is about playing your OWN natural rold depending on who you are and your likes and dislikes.

I feel neither man nor woman, just spriti.

For me personally, the nurturing and caring role feel natural when it comes to my husband and animals. But babies nah, no way. There's absolutely no way I'd give birth and don't really want kids. I think if you are going to be a parent you should put 100% in, but I don't have the desire to do that.

But I am the protector and warrior, confident in my strengths and protector of those I love.

I do not want to be part of the rat race, so a 'career' is not my desire. My own business is natural to me.