How normal is this behavior????

Question

My in-laws were visiting last ight and they are Christians. Well our 9 year son came out and we asked whatcha doing? He replied I was playing on the computer and I wasn't looking at anything I wasn't supposed to, so I said well you know I can check the history button and he blurts out I was looking at a s*x site and my jaw hit the floor. The thing is my in laws say I need to have his head examed that something is not normal and my parents are saying that it is normal when my dad was young he looked at his dads magazines and if he had inernet access he would have looked there too. So parenting this day and age is different and kids are doing everything sooner so is it totally horrible that he did this? We are changing our computer to no access without a password and we are getting a cable box for his room so we can make it to where he cannot access anything over PG... So really I'm asking parents am I alone? or have you had boys do something similair at this age range ?

Answer 1

he is definitely NOT TOO YOUNG to have the s*x talk.  He already knows some things about it, obviously, and by not giving him honest answers, you are just asking him to find out for himself!  He's curious!  You can't shield him from the world.  s*x is everywhere.  Talk to the school counselor and see if there are age appropriate s*x education materials you can use.

Answer 2

Normal, yes, and not just boys. My 10yr old accidently came upon a site, and then got curious. Since I check up on her computer use, I found out and had a talk with her about what is appropriate to view. I also let her know that I can find out what she does on the computer, and if she looks at inappropriate sites again she will lose computer privilages for a very long time.

It is normal for children to be curious, and it sounds like you are taking the right steps to ensure your son's curiosity doesn't get out of hand.

Answer 3

I think it's perfectly normal for your 9 year old to be curious and look at s*x sites if he has the access to it.  Your inlaws should butt out. You're handling it fine by blocking his access to such sites. This may be a good idea to talk to him about what he saw on the internet and give him the basics on s*x and propriety.

Answer 4

well he's just a boy, and you know kids are so computer literate.  and s*x is always out there.  ads on the internet, etc.

he was probably just curious and knew he might get in trouble for it and excited by that.

he probably doesn't really understand it or anything, he was probably just being curious.

anyway, don't worry about it, you've got your parent blocks on there, it'll be ok.

Answer 5

Sounds typical...perhaps a little bit early for his age, but he might go through puberty earlier or could just be more curious.  I would keep an eye out for any other signs that might indicate atypical bx.  GREAT idea with the cable box and restricting internet usage.

Answer 6

It is absolutely normal my son is turning 10 in June and he has asked many questions.  He has heard many things at school and we now have any content on our computer blocked on both our computer and cable that could be inappropriate for him to see.  I also have a 12 year brother that he has seen do such things and learned so of it from him.  He knows and I know what is going on now.  Just keep lines of communication open with your son.  Bring things up on a car ride or while working on the yard or what have you.  I am just glad that you caught him now, instead of later.  I completely understand and you are a good mother for be concerned about today's world.  Things happen much earlier.  My son came home asking me about the little rubber bracelets girls wear and the color meanings.  I had to look it up online to know what he was talking about.  So believe me I understand.

Answer 7

I can only speak from my own behavior, what I saw my 3 older brothers doing when I was a kid, and of course, various friends.

I'd say it's normal.

I would also say, it's normal for adults to try to stop it!!!

(That's one mistake I think a lot of people make; they think "hey, I did it" and then they permit it, forgetting that when they did it, someone was trying to prevent it. Big difference!)

Anyway, yeah, me and my brothers used to go get my dads Playboy magazines out and look at them (this is the 1960's), and there were even dirtier things floating around the neighborhood; some nudist magazines, and some B&W photos of some explicit sexual escapades.  (I never saw a p**n video until I was 30).  Certainly the stuff I saw was very tame compared to what kids can be exposed to these days.

So, I didn't see that much, but I certainly was VERY interested in it, would get a look every chance I had.

I was also extremely horny as a kid, masturbating a LOT, even before reaching puberty. (Figure that one out???).

If I were me, but that age now, I'd probably be viewing internet p**n every chance I could get away with it.

And I don't think it's a good thing either, so you're right to want to control it.

But I personally don't think it's right to tell a kid it's sick, or really, really bad, in relation to them being exposed to violent images.

It makes no sense to me, that parents will freak out over their kids seeing s*x & nudity (when the worst possible outcome is that the kid will want to have s*x), but they're OK with the kid seeing countless murders and other violent acts in movies, TV shows, and video games, when the possible outcome of that, can be the kid murdering people!!!

So sure, try to control it.

But don't make a gigantic deal out of it.  

Keep the kid from seeing some of the really sick stuff though!

Answer 8

well is normal you can say in a way, there is just so much information outthere for the kids to pick up so easily, but definately you should have some talks with your kids, i am Christian but that doesnt mean i judge parents jus for what kids say, i work with kids and i know that they get the same amount of info or even more from ouside home so just make sure you talk to him and keep his mind busy with other activities that should help.

Answer 9

He's a nine year old boy and he's looking at p**n?  He's totally normal.  Its just like back in my day when the boys stole their dads playboy's.  I wouldn't worry about him.  Sexual curiosity is not a mental problem and he doesn't need his head examined.  After you explain this to your in-laws, you can tell them he's not going to h**l because he masturbates.  Happy talking! :)

Answer 10

so typical. your inlaws are the ones who are wacked. kids are GOING to be curious. 9 is just about the age where they start looking, too.  i don't think it's "horrible" and i seriously doubt it's caused your son any long term damage. you are taking the responsible parenting steps by blocking the over PG things, but you should also discuss with him WHY it's not okay to watch this stuff. explain that s*x is a act of love, and that p**n turns it into something cheap and commercial...or what ever you believe.

Answer 11

Hey I have a little brother and when he was like 9 that started too so it is normal and now I have a child of my own yes a boy lol and Ill be facing all of this as well its normal human development lol... dont tell em he needs checked for that

Answer 12

At 9 years old a young boy shouldn't even know what "s*x" is yet. I would fall over dead if my daughter said that. At that age a boy should be playing with his toys or friends. You need to sit down and have a talk with him. Why was he looking at this and does he even understand what he was looking at. Why wasn't there a parental block on the computer in the first place? I don't think that is normal at all. He learned this or saw this from somewhere. You need to find the point of origin and fix it. Being it school or another friend.