How often do you and your spouse have s*x after having kids?

Question

How often do you and your spouse have s*x after having kids?

Answer 1

I'm surprised at most of these answers.  First of all, say you have s*x after your spouse comes home from work, after your kids are in bed.  Fine, do it everyday.  But for most people we're not in the mood or too tired to do it everyday.  And I'm sorry, but I'm not going to go to the bedroom with my husband when my toddler and 7 year old are awake and playing downstairs.



By the time we both get home from work, finish up dinner, play with the kids, put them to bed, we're pretty exhausted, well at least I am, and generally not in the mood.

We average 1-2 times a week, and usually that's on the weekends.

Edit:  I agree with that one post about why are people giving thumbs down.  I gave her one just for ranting - why bother answering.  I also gave that one who said she can care less about s*x now and her husband plays with the kids for 10 minutes a day and she's pissed.  That's a cause for some serious concerns.

Answer 2

3 times a day every day. we have s*x before he gos to work when he comes home for lunch and at night.  

Answer 3

weve got a 4 yo and a 9 mo old, we try not to go longer than 3 days, but sometimes life happens, typically we'll go everday or everyother day. nap time, cartoon movie time...whenever opportunity knocks ;)

Answer 4

a couple times a month for us if we are lucky. My husband works two jobs and when he is home we are both tired. We have 4 boys and even though they are older (13, 13, 11, 8) they stay up later and I'm not going to have s*x while they are up and we all usually go to bed at the same time. I'm also not going to send them to bed really early just so we can have s*x. Honestly I can live without it. Of course when we do get the chance, I enjoy it but it's not like a major need in my life. Luckily my husband feels the same way. I am lucky he is not always bugging me to do it like other's husbands do. We do still cuddle and show lots of affection but s*x itself is not a huge part of our marriage these days.  

Answer 5

My husband works 3rd shift, so he's only home when the kids are sleeping two nights a week.  So, we average about 2 nights a week ;-)

We've found another fun time to be alone, though, is when the kids are at school (in another couple weeks here) & when I don't have to be at work right away...  

Sure, we're just as tired as the rest of the parents out there.  He's got his odd working hours, I'm on just about every school/scouts related committee that comes my way.  And, we almost always have a litter of foster puppies to take care of...  But, we've found that taking the time to remind each other that we're here, loving each other, enjoying each other's company & still having fun - helps us find more energy & renewed determination to keep on going, keep on doing this parenting thing together, keep on laughing & knowing that we're there for each other.  

Answer 6

I have been married 4 years and have a 19 month old and a 29 month old and at this point I can careless about s*x. My husband if he had his way would have me live underneath the sheets or under his desk at work to be his little s*x buddy 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I am no longer interested in having s*x because I work from home and have 2 babies that keep me busy and when he comes home he want to eat, watch tv, go to sleep, this is M-F. On the weekends we go to the park or malI and then home. At home on the weekends he eats, watch tv, play about 10 minutes per day with the kids and by the time the kids are sleep and he is trying to get some, I am looking over at him like, "LEAVE ME ALONE"!

Answer 7

LOL! People have s*x with their kids in the house? Wow. Kinda risky don't you think? I mean obviously with more than one kid we have done it at some point but I am always so nervous about waking them up, especially with our 12 year old daughter in the next room, that I hardly ever give in. And no, we aren't loud, and we keep the door closed, but I just can't relax enough most of the time. So...maybe once a month.

I get annoyed when we're cuddling and talking and I am trying really hard to get in the mood and my husband tries to feel me up or something. Plus he always is begging to go down on me and I don't want him to because I am afraid he won't like it. Sorry if that's TMI but my husband is causing more issues than these other women's husbands apparently.

Plus we are 36 years old! I keep telling my husband we aren't 21 years old anymore and why does he still want me when I don't look like I did at 21?

I am really working hard to get over this but I can't believe all the answers you got about couples doing it more than once a week. How do they get in the mood after dealing with the kids all day?  

I guess they don't have any financial problems or kids with learning disabilities or any other stress in their lives so they can relax.

I want to wait until we have all of our problems solved and then have a real sexual relationship with my husband.

I would LOVE to have that, but feel it is irresponsible to give in to that when we have our children's and our own problems to solve. Why not put all of our energy into that, then have fun when our problems are gone?

My husband disagrees.

Answer 8

I have a 3 year old and 3 month old, and we usually have s*x once a week, on a lucky week twice! It's so hard cause we are always so busy with the kids, and by the time they go to bed, we are both exhausted!

Answer 9

I have to be honest ours went down after having kids. It did not really have to do with the kids but my s*x drive just vanished after I had them. I have seen doctors and they just don't understand it is not always a marital/emotional problem, I have barely any s*x drive at all (we all have fantasy people, movie stars etc. and not even drive for that anymore)  So we got in a rut of once a month which obviously caused more marriage problems. I realize this is not fair to my husband, who has never lost any amount of desire for me regardless of my varying weight LOL So I make it a point now to have s*x once a week, sometimes more but usually once a week. And once we are having it I enjoy it and we both get pleasure out of it. It is I just never feel the desire but enjoy it once started. It does not make a lot of sense I know. I have been going through peri menopause for a few years and my hormones have been insane, I have had a lot of period problems resulting in a D&C etc. which obviously plays a role as well. I am only 35 but started at age 9 so menopause is creeping up on me early as well.

Bottom line I need to make my husband happy and I know he would love it 50 times a day LOL but I do now put forth the effort for at least once a week and we get along a LOT better now, imagine that LOL

Answer 10

3 to 4 times per week. It has stayed that way steadily for 8 years- even after kids.

and to those concerned..lol...it's always after our kids are asleep. We are awake 3 hours after they go to bed and we wake up earlier than them. it's just our sleep routine.

ETA:I'm shocked at the stress answers. i have a lot of stress of different things (depending on the time of year) and my husband does, too. but really, a healthy s*x life to me is a must. It relieves a lot of my stress and gets me tired enough to fall asleep. LOL

Answer 11

I have a 9yr old and am 35wks pregnant with my second.

Prior to us getting pregnant, we were having s*x at least 6 times a wk. Once we got pregnant, for the first couple of months we were doing it twice a week. By the time I got to be 5mo, we were only doing it once every two or three weeks. Now that I'm towards the end, we haven't had s*x in like 2mo. Sometimes I too uncomfortable to get in the mood. Other times, my husband doesn't want to because for some odd reason he's deluded himself into thinking his "thing" is so big where it'll hurt the baby. Pu-leze! Rather than burst his bubble, I stay cool. Like I said, I'm often too uncomfortable to do it anyway. Not to mention, I'm sick to death of sideways s*x.

I'd rather wait until we can get it in good like we used to. :-)

Answer 12

Twice a week is average for us.  Sometimes we're particularly frisky and have s*x almost everyday for a week or two.  He's currently deployed though, so our s*x lives are nonexistent.  We'll make up for lost time when he gets home.  *wink, wink*  Our kids are all in bed and asleep no later than 8:30, so it works out perfectly for us.  We have the rest of the night to do whatever.  Watch a movie, cuddle on the couch, have some intimate alone time..... we treasure that hour or two before we fall asleep.

*Whoever is giving thumbs down can shove it up their ars.  It was a simple question with an honest answer.  Why is that "wrong"?  Meanies.  lol  Thumbs up for everyone from me!

Answer 13

4 or 5 times a week... My kids are 2 and 4... When they were younger though we were lucky to do it twice a week.

Answer 14

As much as we can, it is hard cause they are always lurking lol It is better once they have gone to bed for the night then they do not wake up and disturb.

Answer 15

It all depends on how much free time you have.

4-6 days a week.

Sometime 1-3 times a day.  

Answer 16

We're lucky to do anything once or twice a month. Seriously. We have a 22 month old and I'm 15 weeks along with our second and I could care LESS about doing anything. I usually just do it to shut him up.

Answer 17

Not nearly as often as we would like. Our daughter(3) seems to wake up at the most inconvenient times. Our son(14months) sleeps in our bedroom still, because we are building a bedroom onto the house for him. He seems to have a radar that wakes him up whenever we get close to one another. The fact that my husband is an over the road truck driver and is on the road 20 days out of the month only compounds the problem. But we have found that the quantity doesn't matter as long as the quality is good. We have also found other ways to be sexual together, such as emails phone calls etc, stating what we want to do with each other.  

Answer 18

whenever the babies down the for night lol.... it took some work to get back in the swing of things... i wasnt interested in s*x shortly after giving birth... but once the baby starting sleeping through the nights... it left a lot of times for us.

i would stay 3-4 times a week.... maybe more

Answer 19

i have a 6 month old and a 4 yr old and plus we both work  , so we may be might have s*x once or twice a week.

Answer 20

My husband and I still have s*x just as often as we did before children. I’d say a smidge less but we’re still intimate at least 2-3 times a work week. And weekends are just a free for all…..

It’s hard when you have a toddler running around but you sneak in quickies when you can and save the good stuff for when you have a babysitter. :)

** ADD **

Glenna, they're just jealous because they're not getting nearly as much booty as us :)

And I certainly don't have s*x while my child is AWAKE! Are you insane? We have a routine with our son, he sticks with it, and we benefit from it. I'm 25 yrs old, not some old dead married Mommy with no sexual needs.....

Didn't anyone tell you guys that s*x is one of the best stress relievers? I work all day and I'm carting my toddler around to and from daycare. I go home, play with him, cook and clean, do laundry....I'm tired at the end of the day too! But at the end of the day when the baby is down, that's me and my hubby's time...tired or not. It works well for us :)

Answer 21

Before baby it was almost every day. Since our baby was born almost 11 months ago it is usually about once a week.

Answer 22

i would have to say 4-5 times a week :)