How often does your parents use your weakness (eg. fat) and misfortunate (eg. divorce) as a way to keep their?

Question

upperhands. To tell you that you have to LISTEN to them for the rest of your lives, whether the matter is small or big (eg. choosing a dress or choosing a husband),

Most of all, why do they do that? Is this the norm of people coming from their generation or is this what parents do?

Answer 1

ALL THE TIME! I'm not exactly the skinniest guy, and my dad makes it public. It drives me crazy.

Answer 2

My mom is just this amazing mastermind at making me feel bad. She's one of those grade obsessed people, so if I get one "B" she'll be like "AHHH you'll never amount to anything you failure you! You just want to take drugs and be "COOOL""

and btw, I'm a straight A student XD

Answer 3

Well I'm 23 weeks pregnant and tonight my mother told me how fat I am and how it really makes her feel good to put me down...  Obviously being an emotional mess with hormones right now I started crying and I threw out the F-Bomb a few times...  My self esteem went straight into the gutter and she was smiling and laughing the entire time.

I think it could be that generation, I'm 24...  I've noticed my mother has been kind of rude and demeaning my entire life, not just to me, but her husband, and everyone she knows.  I have always just wondered if I had a nasty mother...  I've rarely found anyone with parents as scary as mine...  Also it could be ethnicity?... I'm Italian and it's quite common for our family to yell out our issues, then we're fine the next day.

Answer 4

No that is not the norm for their generation. Just plain meanest.and false Perfection.Must be control freaks and do it to each other.If you are dependent on them learn to stand on your own two feet.It will be worth the cost. Some parents find it easier to attack their kid(even adult children) that another adult who would tell them to take a hike.You don't have to listen to them at all. Allow yourself to make mistakes,so what it's not the end of the world.I wouldn't be surprised if you married someone just like them and that's why you are divorced. If you are  fat (comfort foods,no wonder)you can lose weight,divorced, find a good husband that loves and nurtures you.Remember You are what your parents make you and then it's up to you to take the responsibility to change it.Love does not hurt.Love is kind.Love is perfect,people are not.Shock 'em and tell them you want their love for a change and not their put downs.If you wanted that you would have stayed married,You have the right to be  respected so demand it.What have you got to lose but bad feelings and sadness. Go girl.

Answer 5

Decent parents should never, ever exploit their childrens' weaknesses or misfortunes. I am a parent of a 23 y/o and a 13 y/o. Listening to your parents' opinions and advice is the right and respectful thing to do; but whether or not you choose to do what they say is ultimately up to you. Sometimes parents have a hard time letting go of their babies and in their own minds keep their children as little kids that they constantly have to "parent". Depending on how old your parents are, then yes it could be their generation but on the other hand you could just be making one mistake after another and they are only trying to help you out with their loving but unwanted advice. Know what I mean? I hope so. I kind of know what you're going through but age has a lot to do with things (yours and theirs).

Answer 6

My parents still do it. I've been married for over 8 years and am pregnant with my 3rd child and they still try to control me. I was an excellent student but I had no interest in finishing college and I am a stay at home mom. I love it, but I hear my parents remarks on an almost weekly basis. My mom is even trying to tell me that I have to get my tubes tied, which I'm not going to do. She is also going so far as trying to decide what I name this child.

When I did live at home as a teenager, they were way worse. I wasn't fat, but my father kept making remarks that he was going to have to make double doors in the house. This was after I had to take some shots in high school that made me gain 30 lbs. As a result, I had no self-esteem and got really depressed which I think then led to me having issues with attending class in college.

I don't know, maybe it is their generation. I would kill someone if they said anything close to that to my children.

Answer 7

People who do this are mental midgets, ignorant and lack compassion and humanity.

I'm 51 and i never put my kids down... if i wanted them to follow a rule when they lived with me, i told them so... and they did it or they were punished...

Name-calling and put-downs lead to emotional problems... i think we have enough nuts in the world.