How old do i have to be to choose what parent i want to live with? If I live in CA?

Question

I have been living with my dad for about two months now. I'm happier and doing much better then when I lived with my mom. I love her to death but I do not want to live there! She is a Jehovah's witness and i don't want to be one right now. She says I'm coming back to her house when summer ends She didn't say anything to my dad, so when i talked to him about it he was shocked. He wants me to live here with him and his fiance and I want the same. But my mom says I'm in danger when I'm here. NOT TRUE!! Sure he lets me hang out with a freind ever now and then and he let me have my myspace back but I'm not in any danger. He has a myspace and he keeps a close watch on mine. Oh boy does he! And he keeps an eye on my texting because I got in trouble with that many times at my mom's. He always makes sure he knows where I am. He is a very good father. She only thinks that the worst is happening, but she is wrong! Wrong wrong wrong! So now we may have to take her to court. And I'm going to have to tell the judge everything, like how she told me she wanted rip my braces off, take away my make up, and clothes, and cut my hair so that boys wouldn't like me anymore. And how she left me home alone with my brother when i was 9 and he was 2, and she went to jail for that. And how she told me she didn't like me. I can't remember the last time told me she was proud of me or told me she loved me with out my therapist telling her that it is important for me to hear that from her. I used to have thought of hurting myself when I was there. And I did a few times. I can not go back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to go back to those thoughts becuase I'm not happy there and I don't want be more miserable. There is more I could say but I might as well write a book.

Answer 1

If I were in your situation I would sit down in front of the computer and write out a detailed and as unemotional as humanly possible account of everything your mother has ever said or done in her life to show that her home is not a healthy environment for you.

Write out a separate page at the end saying, in great detail, that you feel it is in your best interest if you were to be permanently placed with your father and that it is your wish to remain with your father.

Sign it and date it.

I don't care if it takes 50 pages for you to write out the details (not emotions) of ever stupid thing she has done, every hurtful thing she has said to try and poison you against your father.

Make sure to put in that you have different religious beliefs then your mother and that you feel you are mature enough (not OLD enough, but MATURE enough) to make your own cultural beliefs known and you do not wish her to punish you for that independence.

Get as much written down as humanly possible.

The more detailed you are the more mature and unemotional you document things, the more likely the judge will be to take you seriously and not think that you are just a pawn in your parent’s battle to s***w each other over.

Make your wishes known…

Stand up in front of the judge and make sure s/he hears you out… h**l, even ask for a representative from Child Protective Services or the Department of Child and Family Services (whatever it is called in your area) to hear you out and make your case to the judge.

The more mature you act in front of the judge, the more likely s/he will be to listen to your wishes!!! REMEMBER THAT!!

Good luck to you!! *HUG*

Answer 2

Honey the only thing I can tell you is.  I have been through several custody battles with my child.  There really is no age that they will ALLOW THE CHILD TO MAKE THE DECISION...  However they do take your feelings into account, if your are 13 or older I think it is...

Your dad is going to have to go to the courts and get temperary custody if you mother has custody of you, you do have to go home.  If she does not have custody then the law will not make you...

However you are going to have to tell the judge how you feel if you are really happy where you are...



By the way how old are you???

Answer 3

If you are old enough to make up your own mind, where you want to live. Show your dad this question after the answers. And tell him that I want to stay with him over your mother because... of the emotional abuse and your mother is crazy.

Do tell the judge everything and about the emotional issues that you have when you were in her care. You are in therapy because of her.

The judge will see her past and reconzine that she is an unfit mother because of the past offenses when she left you guys alone but went to jail and her crazy rants. You'll probably have to say things that will bring out the crazy in her. And then the judge will truly see the ugliness of your mother.

Answer 4

I think your Dad is a good father and you should let your parents handle this not you. if you are called into court where do you want to be is probably the only question you will be asked. You don't really get to decide that is the judges job and he more than likely will not make you make this statement in open court it will be between you and the judge.

It sounds like your mother has some issues to work out of her own and could use the extra time to sort through them.

If your safe with your Dad you should definitely stay there because it does not sound like you are really safe with your Mom.

You might suggest to your Dad that it would help you if you still had a councler it sounds like you could definitely use someone to talk to about this.

Good luck Lisa