How old do you have to be to decide who to live with (Mom or Dad)?

Question

In the state of missouri. My parents are divorced and are going through a custody battle. The judge has already said i'm living with my dad. I( really don't want to, the only reason is so he doesn't have to pay child support. Listen to this, all he can say is that it's better for us. He won't give me a real answer. He says the only thing that's changing is that we are switching schools. He lives a half hour away from my mom and my school. He lives in Wright city and she lives in Saint Peters. And I want resources. I'm going to be 13 in February, and my mom says the judge has do decide if i'm mature enough. Also, i'm a lot closer to my mom, and i don't know how to tell him without making him feel like I love my mom more than him. I don't. This has been going on for a year, with me, my brother, and my sister in the middle of it all. And i'm the one that everyone talks to. My mom and dad each talk to ME about this. I know i'm the oldest, but it gives me alot of stress. I've been crying for the last year about this. Almost all the time. I really want it to end, but I really don't want to move to my dad's.

BTW, my school is awesome, and the school he wants to move me to, only has a 54 percentage graduation rate.

Answer 1

Why did the judge send you to your dads? That doesn't happen a whole lot unless the mother is unfit? I hope that isn't the case :(

but anyway. I believe that usually kids are 12 before the judge will flat out ask you what you want, but i've heard that in other places it is 14. but atany age if you request to talk to someone about it they have to talk to you and at least hear your opinion.

if the entire thing has already been settled though like the divorce is final you might have to talk to your mom & request a new hearing or whatever.

also- don't worry about your dad thinking you love your mom more. he is an adult and should know that you can't love one more than the other & if he says stuff like that to you then it is just him being immature and trying to get you to do what he wants. but that is just mean and no parent should make you feel that way!

I'm a girl so maybe my view is a little different but I think that even if you were equally close to both of your parents you might still want to live with your mom just because she is a girl and dads don't usually do much in terms of taking care of the kids. So it would be easier to live with a mom. and seems how your mom is living where your school is, it's a million times more understandable. my advice on that part is to just not worry about what your parents think, just do what you need to do to make yourself happy. you deserve it =]

Answer 2

Lol, I have the same problem. I am 15 now , and live with my dad. There really isnt a age requirment to choose who you live with. It is your life your decision. No one can make it for you. I was 13 when I chose to live with my dad. Sure the laywers say that you have no choice or something but really you do. They just want to scare you. Dont let people stop you from being happy, if you want to live with your dad, then go ahead and if you want to live with your mom, thats great also! Just talk to them! If they dont listen then you make your own decision. Email me if you need any help: [e-mail]