How old does a child have to be before she is responsible for her actions? My husbands ten year is hitting me.

Question

My step daughter is pushing me when she is angry, she has hit,punched pulled her fathers hair and I want to know how old she should be before she goes to juvenille hall or to the judge.

Answer 1

Um, that's old enought to know better!  She's on a fast track to trouble!  Get her some help, maybe she has anger issues.  She might benefit from counseling.

Answer 2

is she actually being very bad behaved, or what you'd expect from a child? try anger management first. 10 is a little young to go to juvie. Also, try more dicipline of your own. Don't let her go anywhere with friends, talk on the phone, use TV or computer, etc. when she behaves poorly. Pushing and punching isn't a real reason to take it to court. The only way children are sent to Juvenille Hall is usually things like using weapons or threatening to, using drugs, more severe things than just hitting (unless the hitting is almost constant and is actually hurting the other person severely). Hope everything works out!

Answer 3

Yes 8 years old when a child should be responsible for their actiosn! Dont let the kids hit you hit them back they will eventaully stop! Becuase they will know if they hit they get a one right back that's only way kids listen these days literally!

Answer 4

unless she is mentaly disabled, she should be able to recognize that what she is doing is wrong now. Take her to a doctor and get her checked out, she might have add/adhd, and that might be making her more agressive( I am an adult with adhd, I take medicine to keep me"focused")

Answer 5

8 years old is the time that a child is fully responsible for their actions.

Answer 6

How horrible for you!! I hope your husband steps up to the plate and takes responsibility for disciplining his daughter. Check out secondwivesclub.com also for emotional support. They have stepkids like you & I do :)

Answer 7

Thats not the correct behavior for a 10 year old.  But before you run to a judge or send her to juvie, look at WHY she is doing what she is doing.

Why would a 10 year old GIRL behave that way?  There is no reason for it.  Which makes me conclude that someone is hurting HER, either physically or sexually, and she is acting out by hurting those that she loves.

Please seek family therapy ASAP before things get any worse.

Answer 8

A child over the age of 3 is responsible for their actions.

However, no child is sent to Juvenille Hall before they are 10 yrs. old.

I suggest counsling.

Answer 9

At her age she already knows that what she is doing is wrong. She is trying to get a reaction out of you! Is she lonely? Bored? Angry? This girl needs to be told "NO!" and punished whenever she hits or does something aggressive, and it needs to happen EVERY TIME. If she tries to hit you or her father, grab her by the wrist and tell her, "No! You may not hit another human being!" Then try to talk to her about what is upsetting her.

Answer 10

Here in Texas a 10 year old can get arrested for a crime.Assaulting somebody is a crime.

Do you live in Texas ?

Answer 11

when you were growing up and acted like that.......what would happen?? so why dont we hold our kids to the same expectations....yall are the grown ups...take charge...it only gets worse as they get older if you dont control it now....if he doesnt agree maybe both of them need an attitude adjustment,,,,,,,,,its your body....do you like being pushed and hit?? well make them stop it then.........thats the problem with society now...nobody is accountable for their actions!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 12

Wow you guys defenitly have a problem on your hands. It is only going to get worse as she gets older, and stronger. Trust me I was a horrible teenager as well. Acting out because of my parents divorce and more. You need to get her into counseling and she is probably too young for juvi but you can consult your local social services and that will put her on the path. They will meet with you, her, teachers and so on. They will try to figure out why she is doing what she is doing. She WILL act out. All of you will come up with a plan of action, rules, consequences and so forth. This will start the disciplinary action. This probably won't cost you anything. You may also want to have her evaluated for an emotional disorder. All of these actions happened with me. I fought and fought. I acted out for a long time. I spent  lot of time in group homes, foster homes, and juvi. I regret it now. I lost all my childhood and teen years to fighting with my parents. I never went to a school dance. I missed every homecoming every prom, graduation everything. At the time I could care less, to me those things were stupid. Now at 27 I wish I would have had those experiences. It makes me real sad. I wish I had school reunions to go to but I don't. I have a great life now but only becasue I changed. It sucks so bad, I wish I could turn back time but I have to live with my decisions and consequences. You have to stay firm and it is not ok to hit!! You can call the cops you know. If you give up and do nothing she will be even worse and the physical abuse will get worse because she will get stronger and meaner. My dad tried everything with me and I still foought but turned out to be a great adult. My dad did nothing for my brother. He acted out just like I did and my dad had given in and did nothing and now my brother is addicted to drugs, a felon, and on his way to prison. Don't give up. Please keep trying to discipline her and one day she will realize she is doing wrong! Good luck! Oh remember she does love you.

Answer 13

they wont put her in juvy at age 10 for that. try taking her to anger management classes or something.

Answer 14

What have you done to contribute to your poor relationship with your stepdaughter?

What is your husband doing about it? And her mom if she is in the picture?

She needs professional help. Not incarceration of legal troubles but maybe a residential treatment center -- if only because her father will not discipline her apparently.

Take her to a real child psychologist first for a recommendation. He or she should be able to figure out if she has some diagnosable condition to be treated or a conduct problem.

If it is the latter then that should be treated through therapy or if serious enough residential treatment.

If the psychologist says nothing is wrong with her learn restraining holds that will not harm her to ward off her attacks and confine her to her room if she is out of control.

I have heard of parents taking everything out of the room except a mattress on the floor if necessary so she has nothing to destroy. She can earn her things and privileges back through improved conduct.

ETA: http://www.parental-alienation-awareness...

Thank you for adding the additional information. Normally I try to avoid the use of syndromes to explain behavior but I have witnessed parental alienation and it is real.

You could go to court and say the mother is using parental alienation/hostile aggressive parenting and she needs to be stopped or ordered to therapy herself.

Answer 15

My brother is 8 and he hits. Not as bad as your child but I'm afriad it may worsen. He has ADHD. You may want to take your child to the doctor.

Answer 16

If your  husband cant wear the pants in the family . Then you need to . GIve her tough love and gain more respect for  yourself. Take everything she owns ecxept one pair of clothing  and make her earn back her clothing ,food and roof . If she wants to run away let her call the police on her..

Answer 17

i think anger management is still a bit extreme- ground her or somerthing until she learns that it's wrong to lose her temper. If she is still doing it at ten years old, she's either never actually learnt properly what him boundaries are, or she's deliberately breaking them and needs to be punished. Punish her now, and she'll grow out of it.

Answer 18

You are punishing the child for something that isn't the child's fault.  These are things she has learned from her mother not something she would do on her own.  Your husband needs to grow a backbone and not allow her to hit, punch etc not him, not you.  He is enabling her behavior and is just as much at fault as the mother of this child.  It is quite obvious this child has had no real discipline at all in her life even when her parents were married.  And now that she is acting out based upon how she was raised you (and I suspect your husband) are blaming her.  I pity this poor child.  She is going to have some major issues as she gets older.  Whether he WANTS to or not your husband is going to have to sit down and talk with this child's mother about discipline and the things she has been taught.  Not argue, not place blame but TALK like the adults they are supposed to be.  Children learn what they see in the home.  Too bad this child has had some p**s poor teachers in her life.