How old does a child have to be to decide whether they visit their dad?

Question

I am divorced and have 2 children. They visit their Dad for the whole weekend every other weekend but generally moan about it when they get home. I think it is important for them to keep in touch with their father and would encourage them to do so, but how old do they have to be before they can make their own choices about whether they see him and how long for?

Answer 1

here it is 14

Answer 2

It depends on the state you live in.  You would have to check at your local court house.  If your children feel like they would rather be with you or visit there aunt and he won't let it happen.  Then start a new motion and ask for a third party to talk to the children and let a GA decide what's best!  Most likely they'll see in you and your child's favor anyway!  Good luck!  

Answer 3

Until they are of legal age (usually 16-18), the decision rests with the court system, not the kid.

Answer 4

When I was about 10, I used to visit my Mum every weekend. There were times however when I didn't want to go. I was young then and found it difficult to explain to my Dad why I didn't want to go. The true reason I didn't want to go is simply that on some weekends I wanted the time to go out with my friends on bike rides and playing in the park and getting up to adventures as young kids do. It didn't mean I wanted to give up visiting my Mum altogether, I just wanted some 'me' time I suppose. This might be a reason for your kids not wanting to spend so much time with their auntie, 3 weeks is a long time for a kid to be away from friends.

Answer 5

you don't say how old they are, but I would gather when they are 13-14 yrs old, then they can have a say so but THEY have to be the ones to tell their dad that they don't want to come visit and want their stays with thier Aunts shortened. NOT YOU! This way your X will know it's their choice and not you forcing your choice on them. (Well hopefully he will see it that way--depends on your relationship with him)

Answer 6

If a child is old enough to say 'i dont want to go' then thats the right age for them, even if you said 'well ok you dont have to go this week, lets see if you want to go next week' etc.

Answer 7

Your kids are trying to tell you something and you need to sit down, keep quite and listien to what they have to say.  They may have a good reason for what they are requesting.  If the courts say they have to go, then you need to go to your concuslour and let them know what is going on.  if you push them they will end up resenting you for it and possibly causing troulbe at thier fathers house.

just talk to them and listien to them.

Answer 8

18, and even then I would encourage them, because it is the right thing for them to do.  Hopefully, by the time they are that age, they will have created a stronger bond with him, and will realize this on their own.  But I commend you for making sure that they spend time with him now, even if they are complaining about it.

Answer 9

When my niece was 10, the court listened to her preference in PA.