How old it so old for a child to sleep with his parents. I have a 6 yr old son who refuses to sleep in hisroom

Question

Every time we try it he will cry, and I'm talking for over an hour? What do I do?

Answer 1

you should wait till he fall asleeps in his room...Then he will finally get used to it till you don't have to do that anymore

Answer 2

It's too old when he interferes with your s*x life.  Get him a fisher price wind up clock that plays kids tunes or let him watch reruns of Martha Stewart that bores me to sleep.

Answer 3

It isn't healthy for your son to sleep with you every night.  It also isn't healthy for your marriage either.  He is 6 and should be able to understand some reason.  I would first try to let him sleep in your bed and move him to his once he is asleep.  

Do you have a night light in his room? If not, get one.  I would also ask him why he doesn't want to sleep in his room, it may be something you can fix, like checking for monsters under the bed.  

If he has slept with you every night of his entire life, it may be a hard thing to break.  I would talk to his doctor about what to do, he may tell you to let him cry himself to sleep.  He will realize that no matter how many tears he produces, he has to stay in his bed and may just give up on the fight.

I hope this helps!

Good Luck!

Answer 4

mine is almost 6 .he does the same thing.except for his feet in our face and his hogging the bed ...we enjoy it for what it is .....a special time that will soon be over. Best wishes and have a good night sleep!

Answer 5

Have you tried various routines which involve you and him spending time together in his room before he goes to sleep?

Reading & telling him stories, talking, cuddling etc. If all this happens in his room, it should be a place he is looking forward to going to at night, and maybe that will improve things?

Saying that though, I used to climb into my parents bed in the middle of the night up until at least age 8 or higher, if I was unhappy or scared or just wanted to be with them.

I'm only young and don't have kids, so my advice may be silly, but I guess just really working on methods and ways for the bedroom to be a safe caring happy place, where he feels okay.

Answer 6

do wat i do get the belt out and thraten him llike if your going to hit him i never hit him but he get scared and goes to his bed

Answer 7

Try to ask why he doen't want to sleep in his room, you could lay down with him untill he goes to sleep or somthing like that.

Answer 8

Bite the bullet and deal with some screaming for a few nights.  This is long overdue.  Do you want a twelve year old sleeping with you.  Man up!

Answer 9

well how long are you going to let it go on? i mean one day he'll be 11, or you might want to have a s*x life again, cut the chord, have a reward for him sleeping in his bed...or no t.v. until he grows out of it

Answer 10

My son is 4 years old. Every night he'll get up, use the bathroom, then come right in my bed an fall asleep. Honestly, I have a really big bed, so it really does not bother me one bit. If it makes him feel secure, then why not? I'm sure they won't want to share our bed much longer. One day soon they'll be telling us to get out of their rooms ;-)

Answer 11

my 13 year old brother still does=)

Answer 12

Personally, I'm not a co-sleeper and not a fan of it. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to lay next to my husband and make love early in the morning with out waking up the kiddo.

I think a child should always remain in his/her own bed. But, co-sleeping doesn't really hurt anyone, although it's unsafe for small babies. But, it can take away from private time with your spouse, and comfort during the night. It can also make a child more dependent on you.

At first he will cry for more than hour. You are the parent, you are in control. It isn't hurting him, and is good for the family as a whole. You may lose some sleep so start on a Friday evening. He has to learn that crying will not get him his way. Perhaps before the transition let him pick out a new comforter for his BIG BOY bed.  Also, allow him to keep the same pillow or sleep with a stuffed toy. Nightlights may be helpful. Talk to him about sleeping in his big boy bed in a positive way before putting him to bed. Read him a story, say a goodnight prayer with him, tuck him in, kiss his head, and LEAVE the room. Go in every half hour and tell him, it's time for bed. Don't let him use crying to get his way. You are the parent you are in control, never forget that. So, that's what you do. You have to make the transition some time, and the sooner the better. With in a few weeks it will become a normal routine for him, and you can move on to other family milestones.

So, don't forget you are in control, he can NOT refuse you. If you want to get something done, you will have to deal with the tantrums. But, don't forget to try to make the transition positive for him by telling him what a big boy he is becoming.

Answer 13

my little sister does the same thing but shes only 4...almost 5. my bed room is right next to hers so what my mom [sometimes] does is tells her "sleep in your own room. if you wake up go in Emmy's room" [me] and if she wakes up and wants to go downstairs she will come crawl in my bed and when i finally realize she is in my bed i will take her downstairs into my mom's room. but thats like once a year... she sleeps in my mom and step-dad's bed and what he usually ends up doing is he will go in the living room and the recliner chair in the living room is now his bed pretty much!  my mom used to lay in my little sisters bed with her until she fell asleep, and then she would get out of her bed and go down into her own. just dont spend half the night in his bed like my mom! =]] good luck

Answer 14

Try to identify the why.  Why does he want to sleep in your room instead of his own.  Is there something scaring him? Some kind of tree banging on the wall at night, noises.  Noises can be solved by running a fan in the room (white noise).

Don't ignore the possibility that he just finds more comfort there and that the crying is all about manipulation (because it works). Once in a while because of a fear of thunderstorms is one thing, but there comes a time when all kids have to be 'big kids'.

BTW, if it is noises and it is waking the child up, don't exclude the possibility of vermin living in the walls.  These various creatures are often active only in late night.  I had a problem with bees in my wall; you only heard them between about midnight and 3 a.m.

Answer 15

Ok, if you have another child start off earlier!!  I have two daughters and before they were a year old, I had them sleeping in their own rooms (FOR MY OWN SANITY.)  If momma ain't happy from no sleep, ain't nobody happy.

Consistency is going to be the key here.  Do the same thing every night.  It will take less and less time.  Consistency will pay off, you just have to hang in there.  Unfortunately, all he's ever known for a long time is to sleep with you.  You are now trying to change his world, his comfort zone and that ticks him off.  He doesn't understand why he has to sleep elsewhere all of the sudden.  Have a NEW bedtime routine.  Brush teeth, read books, kiss all animals (bed companions) goodnight, say a prayer, .....make sure the whole list is done so he will feel secure in his new routine.  Hang in there.....it will not be easy, but it's got to be done.

Answer 16

Be the parent and make him sleep in his own bed. Personally I think 6 is too old to still be sleeping with Mom and Dad. There should be that line, Mom and Dad have their room, kid's have theirs. Laying down for a nap half way thru the day or a bad dream once in a while, sure climb in but on a regular basis- no way! My boyfriend has a 5 year old and used to let him sleep in the same bed with us (I don't mind it but wouldn't make the same decision myself.) I also think it was a lot for him (my BF) as well being a single dad, not liking to sleep alone, great snuggle time with the kiddo... But I personally don't think its healthy for the kid. They can get too attached to you and then have these same issues later in life. Plus, it puts undue strain on a relationship too. You do plan on having s*x again, right?

One thing that you can try is getting a sleeping bag and putting it by the bed, right beside you. Make him sleep in his sleeping bag, each night moving it further away from the bed. All the way out into the hall, and finally into his own room. He has probably gotten so used to sleeping with that is it a security/fear issue. That's why I wouldn't make him sleep in his own room "cold turkey." Nothing wrong with that, it'll just take a bit of time to fix. Ease him into the thing, also playing on the "big boy" thing. After a few weeks he'll be used to sleeping in his own bed and [hopefully] be fine. If that doesn't work then try the more forceful route of "becasue I'm the parent, that's why" and "I'll give you a reason to cry." Main thing is don't give in. He'll figure it out. Good luck!

Answer 17

Six year old, refusing?  Be the parent.  He's just going to have to learn.  If you keep giving in, he is being given a reason to continue with the tantrums.

Answer 18

Id say six is too old, ever watch Super Nanny? Probably not, but you should, a lot of people have this problem and she deals with it directly on her show and tells you exactly how to deal with it.  It takes patience and time.  Keep putting him back in his bed and for a week give him 45 minutes (or more or less) that you will sit in his room until he falls asleep.  If he gets off the bed, you leave the room and he is on his own.  Every week (or day) make the time you spend in there less and less. Dont give up.  Dont talk to him while you are in there, just make sure that he understands that you are in there for to watch him fall asleep and thats it.  Eventually he will give up and just go to sleep. Be persistent!

Answer 19

Why can't he sleep with you???  My son is 13 months and has slept with us form the day he was born.  When he is ready to sleep in his own room, he will!  Any other children we have will be welcome in our bed forever!!  That way my kids will always know, when ever they need it they have a safe place to go.  My in-laws had  the same rule in their house (they had three kids, so their s*x life had to be doing pretty good!) and even now (like when my sis-in-law had her tubes tied) they know they can go to mom's house and take a nap in their bed if they need to!!  What does it hurt???  Soon you will miss the snuggles!!

Answer 20

I was 10 until i did i used to have really bad nightmares and was afraid of the dark so my parents would stay in my room until i would fall asleep and leave the hallway light on with my bedroom door open maybe talk to him about whats bothering him and start from there

Answer 21

according to nanny 911 sit on a chair in his room in tell he falls asleep  start really close to the bed for a night then every night move back a foot  in tell your out the door but reasure him your there if he needs you  if he gets out of bed while your in the chair put him right back assureing that your there and its ok to go to sleep if he gets out of bed more then three times put him in a time out  1 min for every year of his age and start over pretty soon h**l tell you he dont need you to sit there any more cause he knows your still in the house  and are there for him also try to get him intrested in a confert object that will be there if he wakes up so he can cuddle it intell he falls back to sleep  to do that pick a fav toy put in bed with him when you put him to bed if he wakes and crys for you go in and show him its there and hug it to reasure him that that is what it is there for then put him back to bed cuddleing it  hope this helps

Answer 22

6 isn't very old to be sleeping in your parents room. There may be a reason that he still wants to. Maybe something scared him? I camped out with my parents until I was about 6 or 7, and on family noght when I was around 8 and 9. Maybe you should ask him if theres a reason he still wants to sleep with you if you're that worried about it. But still,  it's not odd for a 6 year old to still want to sleep with his parents.

Answer 23

This is a mistake a lot of parents get into and get stuck... you should never allow them to sleep with you. That being said, put him in his bed and ignore the crying.  Or give him a spanking and "give him a reason to cry" as my Dad always put it.  It will continue until you put a stop to it, and how do you and your wife have a true marital relationship with a child in your bed?

I slept with my parents till I was five and thus learned that this is a major mistake. I quit crying after about three spankings and realizing that my parents meant business.

All the thumbs down must still sleep with Mommy and Daddy?! LOL get some ba*ls people! The parent should be in charge, not the child.

Cadence and Tan, I agree with you 1000%, people on here are silly if they think it is ok to let a child sleep in the bed with the parents. It is a HUGE mistake!

Answer 24

6 is too old to be sleeping with parents. My younger cousin went throught the SAME EXACT thing. Told my aunt he was having nightmares, he saw people in his room, even when the lights were on. What my grandma did was tell him if he slept in his big boy bed for 5 nights straight he'd get a special treat...McDonalds for him, because he loves the apple pies. Hehe, But. She also added, if he started crying and slept in the bed with mommy and daddy that he'd have to start all over again. So 5 nights straight of sleeping in his own bed he got his apple pies! He just wanted attention because there is a new baby in the house....just reasure him he's a big boy and he'll get a treat.

Answer 25

Does he have a nightlite? See if you can find out what he's afraid of. If for example he's afraid of monsters or whatever, get him a stuffed toy and tell him it will frighten them away. May not help, but couldn't hurt to try. Often it's just a phase and will stop at some point.

Answer 26

Bring on the thumbs down responses because I am completely AGAINST having a child sleep in my bed.  I think if you want your bed back, time for tough love.  Start a bedtime routine with him that involves him going to sleep in his own bed, no matter how long it takes or how much crying.  By you giving in to his crying, he is winning and walking all over you and the sooner you nip that in the bud the better.  My daughter is 3 and has NEVER, not ONCE slept in our bed, nor will she.  She thinks our bed is for family play time because we will all play in there sometimes, but she won't sleep.  She'll crawl in with me in the mornings to wake me up but she doesn't sleep there.  The parents bed is mom and dads bed, NOT the family bed.  I wish you much luck!

Answer 27

I slept in my mom's room until I was almost ten and even then I had to sleep with the lights on but now I'm fine. It's normal.

Answer 28

you should NEVER let a child sleep with his parents!!! The parents room is the parents room and the kid room is the kids room.

If he crys, just put him back in his room, don't say anything. He gets up again, put him back again. You are the boss.

If he crys an hour, let him cry for an hour, he will cry himself to sleep, to bad so sad.

He's 6, put your feet down!

If he gets you running after him after an hour, just spank him and put him back to bed. Each time he gets up, do the same thing. He inventually will understand that you are the boss.