How old my baby should be ?

Question

i have a one year old ,, her father never came around when i was pregnate .....when he found out i had her .... he wanted something to do with her ,,he lives 3 to four hrs away and we went to court and now he will get to have her over night .... i cann not seem to bring myself to do that ..im going to keep her here and not bring her .... breaking the court order ... the drive is to far ... she is still nursing and still wakes up at night .. he drinks smokes no female figure in the house no kids and 3 to 4 hrs away........ any suggestions

Answer 1

follow the court order or risk going to jail

edit: whether he pays his child support or not he is entitled to see his child.  The judge will tell you it doesn't matter if he pays or not, that is a separate matter all together in the courts eyes, you cannot deny him the right to see his child.

Answer 2

I am not sure what you want us to suggest. You are breaking the law. You need to make those points when you speak to a judge. Let them know that he smokes and drinks and that your child is nursing. Regardless, if the father is not doing anything illegal (unfortunately smoking and drinking around a child are not illegal) there is probably nothing you can do.  

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that! Please don't break the order because in the long run that is going to go against you. He can go back to court and request even more days or even 100% custody. I sure don't want to hurt you but it's possible. Instead, see a family mediator, lawyer for legal advise.  If you can 'prove' with substantial evidence that your daughter's father is not fit to have her overnights, you must let the judge know.

Ask for an ex-parte immediately if you can prove that's he's not fit to have her.

For the rest of us, PLEASE, IF YOU ARE A SINGLE PARENT, GET PHYSICAL LEGAL CUSTODY OF YOUR NEWBORN THE MINUTE HE/SHE IS BORN. IT WILL SAVE YOU A LOT OF HEART ACHE AND TRIPS TO THE COURTHOUSE... YOU MAY THINK THAT YOUR CHILD'S FATHER WONT EVER BE IN THE PICTURE BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN HE'S PETIONING FOR CUSTODY/VISITATION RIGHTS....

Answer 4

save a few grand for a lawyer. he will get one appointed by the court and your lawyer will rape him. Tell him you want full costody. no visiting rights.  

One night with the baby and he wont want to do that ever again. how will he stop it from crying when its hungry. you cant switch to bottles for the heck of it.  

Answer 5

did you tell the judge you were still breastfeeding her? i think the judge was unfair. if he wasnt around then that is his fault he should have lost all parental rights. i would scared to, but if you dont take her you can lose her. i would get another parental custody case and find a new judge and a lawyer, seriously.  a new judge can always change it. at least start out with just supervised visitations first.  

Answer 6

You have no choice but to take her to her father, you should be grateful that he wants to be a part of her life. You wouldn't want to break the court order and have her taken away from you. He deserves to have the chance to be in her life. Tell him you don't want him smoking/drinking around your daughter.  

Answer 7

if he drinks and smokes, the courts made a bad descision. but you cant break it so go this one time but you need to go back and suggest that he come down there to visit, and not smoke or drink around her. that drive is too long for a baby...good luck

Answer 8

I suggest your bring your child. I know it may be hard, but if you don't, you're risking a contempt charge/losing custody over her. Maybe next time you go to court, try to change the way you swap. If it's not all ready this way... Ex: You bring her, he brings her back or you meet half way for the pick up/drop off; etcetera. I know my parents had it fixed to where my dad comes pick me up and my mom goes gets me. (He lives in Georgia; my mom lives in La (i live with her).

Proving the court that he is an unfit father will be one hard battle. My mom has tried that since I was 3, and my dad verbally abuses me, which I have told the judge! The symptom is really corrupt, but you have to follow their rules or you risk losing some/most/all of your custody.