How old should a little girl be before being left outside in the front alone?

Question

My mom, who lives next door to me, babysits my sister's kids every day. Mom takes my niece, who is 5, and my daughter to school every morning. This morning she had to run back into her house to do something so left my niece outside my house alone for 5 minutes. We eventually noticed her and told her to come inside. When Mom finally came out and came to get her at our house she started to tell the kid off for not staying outside where she was told to stay. I interjected and told her it is not the kid's fault as we told her to come in. I let her know that I felt it was unsafe for her to be left alone. Mom got defensive and is obviously upset at me now. Was I wrong to take her in? Maybe she is old enough, but she is so tiny and beautiful I am afraid she will be stolen. I still don't leave my 6-year old daughter unattended, even for a minute. Even when Mom came to get her I wasn't the one who made a big deal out of it. It only escalated when Mom was giving the kid trouble. Any opinions?

Answer 1

I would never let my daughter out of my sight. You never know what can happen.

Answer 2

i think it depends on what the child themselves know. if they understand to not go with strangers and not talk to them or to scream for help if someone tries to take them then why not, she was only in the front yard. I see five year olds walking to and from school everyday here. If it is a big city though i understand your concern but i would overreact and not let your mom watch your child because of that one thing such as others suggested, that is a bit much. I would have just simply said to her that i dont allow my child to be in the front yard alone because of the risk of them being taken and that you would appreciate if she didnt make that mistake again. I would also explain to the child that she did nothing wrong and maybe have her grandmother apologize to her for yelling at her seeing as it probably made her upset.

You can also go by saying, hey mom, were you scared that someone may have run off with her? and if she says yes then say well what if that had really happened.

As far as a certain age, like i stated i think it depends on the child and if you are in a big city or have a high rate of kidnappings where you are.

Answer 3

well she u shouldnt leave her alone definetly not. you should authorize them until they're like eleven. ima tell u a real example of a *cough cough* murder. it wasnt too far away from my house and it was in utah. a little girl got kidnapped in her own front lawn. and the murderer ended up being their neibor. so ya, thats pretty dang scary. they're definetly best authorized. like i already said....hehe.

Answer 4

I suppose it would depend where you live.  Is it a nice small town, or a suburb or city?

But understand, that my first gut reaction is NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Children are getting taken, kidnapped and abused every day and I would advise anyone (even my own mother) to be more attentive.  It only takes a second to allow something to happen that can never be undone.

No, you're completely in the right!  I am soo sorry that it has caused a problem with your mother, but perhaps, deep down, she was merely embarrased because she hadn't thought it out clearly.

Answer 5

5 years old is too young to be left outside to play alone. I think it is safe for ages 7+ to play in their own yard with a sibling or friend as long as it was fenced, screened from public view, the children have been educated on stranger danger and you are able to hear them and see them easily from your home and they are checked on at least every 15 minutes.

Answer 6

I think you are a great mom and it shows that you really love your children. I would never leave a little child unattended either, not only because of dangerous perverts, but also because of the dangers of traffic. A child cannot estimate velocity properly and might run in front of a car.

One thing I would do in any case though is to teach the children some self defence techniques. Even very small kids can learn to yell "help help that's not my daddy" if a stranger tries to take them away. It's important to say "not my daddy/mommy" to make people aware that it's not just a child dragged away by an impatient parents, but that the child is in danger. I would contact my local community center or gym for classes. Every little child should learn self defence, I think.

All the best!

Answer 7

I think that 5 is definitely too young. I had to have a few talks with my grandmother about leaving my daughter outside unattended. A few times she just let my daughter go out back and play with the dogs when she was four. I know that my dogs don't let her near the fence when there is another person or dog near by. (I have actually seen them push her back when a neighbor came over to talk) But there is always the chance that she could get hurt ... fall down some steps or something that the dogs wouldn't be able to do more about than bark.

The front yard ... I sometimes let my daughter stand outside in front of our door, when it is open, where I can see her. But she rarely leaves my site. It's just too easy for a kid to be stolen or hurt.

To answer your question about how old a little girl should be before being left outside in the front alone ... It depends on the child. Age and neighborhood are also big factors. Five is too young no matter how you look at it.

If a kid is physically small enough for a bad guy to easily pick up and carry away, they are too young. I'd say that rule should last until they are near 80 pounds or 10-12 years old.

If a kid is too trusting of strangers and people that she barely knows, she isn't ready. If a kid isn't good at paying attention to her surroundings, she isn't ready. And if the kid doesn't have all safety rules, her phone number, address, etc... memorized - she isn't ready.

My grandmother lives in a nice neighborhood where many of the neighbors spend time outside doing yard work, watching their own kids, or just enjoying the weather. I was safe playing in the front yard unsupervised by the time I was about 10. But I wasn't ready to play in the front yard at my own house until I was 12 because we were in a bad neighborhood. That was when I got old enough to recognize when someone walking down the street looked or acted suspicious.

You did the right thing. I'm with the others who say that your mom probably just grew up in a different time. I'm sure that bad stuff still happened back then, but technology has made it so much easier for the bad guys to get away with it when they decide to steal a kid. (and easier for us to spread the word and keep an eye out)

Answer 8

I think thats way to young. Anything can happen at anytime anywhere. I know i'm going to have a hard time as mine get older, but oh well there is no way they will be playing outside by themselves before they're at least 10-12...unless I knock out a wall and have a "wall of windows" and they are in a fenced area that is visible to me. Even then If something happened theres no way I could live with myself letting it occur. My neighbors let their kids run all over and they are between 3-15 on the road we live on (we're out in the country...maybe 25 houses on our raod at most.) I dont see the sense in it at all. They need to be watched 24/7 its part of having kids in my opinion.

Answer 9

Uhmm...don't let MOM watch the kids anymore. Any of em. It only takes 2 seconds of not watching for a child to get hurt or kidnapped. Maybe a little scare lesson would help MOM understand that things are a lot differnet since she raised her kids. I don't let my kids outta my sight for a minute. I do head counts at the park every 30 seconds. Better safe than sorry. I am sorry...but I really wouldn't trust her with my daughter anymore.

Answer 10

Yes, protect your child from every possible danger, even ones that are so remote that they are practically non-existent.  Never let them do anything for themselves.  That way, when they "grow up" the will be completely unable to cope with the real world.  It's not like she left her standing on a street corner in the red-light district of town, for pete's sake. She had a better chance of getting struck by lightning than she did of getting kidnapped from her front yard.

Answer 11

I have 5 kids and my oldest is 12. I still do not like letting her out of my site. Call me over protective. However I agree with not letting them outside alone until then. I had a fenced in back yard and I stepped inside for 2 whole mintutes to use the restroom and my then 2 year old got out of the yard and in the street. Needless to say I learned real fast that not even a fenced in yard is good enough to leave a child unattended in. It takes a mintute or less for a child to be abducted especially in a front yard near a street unattended. In this day and age always err on the side of caution.

Answer 12

no child should be left alone.

we have fence and a baby proof on the fence, but not even for a minute we leave him alone.

she shouldnt have left the child alone, what if a predator came and took her. what would she done then??

Answer 13

Look it all depends on where you live... I see a lot of kids running around my house everyday! And i don't see their parents running after them to keep an eye out because we know the entire neighborhood and everyone just looks out for each other. I don't think you we're wrong doing what you did. You care about them as if they are your own and it's very normal to be defensive! We don't want anything happening to them. I would say to just go and talk your mother and make her understand what you were thinking when you did it... I'm sure she'll understand!

Answer 14

i find it soo sad and scary how little some ppl seem to care for their children - the number of times weve been to the playground and seen little kids, 5, 7 yrs old, and their parent is at home!  if i had a celphone, id call the cops to pick them up.

it's unbelievable, in this day and age.

as far as what age - ya not 5, for sure - my daughter is almost 4, and i think 27 might be an ok age for her to be left alone ;)

Answer 15

My daughter is 4 (5 in June) and i let her play outside alone as long as i can see her from the front door.  But i live in the country.  It allows them to be independence without neglecting them.  I think your mom overstepped her boundaries by leaving her outside by herself for that long unattended and again by scolding the child for doing what you told her to do.  I think you should tell your sister about the incident and let her decide whats right for her daughter.

Answer 16

It depends on where you live.  How safe is the neighborhood?  Have you done any checks online to see if any predators live close by?  My oldest is 6 years old and I let him and my 3 year old play in the front and back yards, and I check on him every 15 min or so.  My 3 year old is only allowed in the back yard when he's alone, since I have a clear view of the entire thing.  We live on a culdesac in a very safe neighborhood.  They know to stick together and have been told about strangers and all that.  Your mom might be remembering how things were when you were growing up.  Back in the 80's and early 90's, for me at least, we were able to run pretty much free on our street as long as we didn't go into anyone's house.   My mom always knew where we were because we let her know.  It is a different world today and you have to be much more cautious about letting kids run free.  Your niece is old enough to stay on the porch for 5 min while your mom goes inside if she is in a safe neighborhood, has been coached on the dangers of strangers and such, and is trustworthy.

Answer 17

If there's a lot of traffic, or it's an unsafe neighborhood, or if the child is the kind of kid who's apt to run into the street or something, then the kid shouldn't be outside alone.  Otherwise, though, I think it's totally fine for a 5-year-old to be in her own yard for 5 minutes while mom is right inside.  I don't let my kids play in the front yard because I don't think they're careful enough about traffic (even though we don't have much on our street), but I did let them start playing in the back yard alone when they were 5.  Not because I'm lazy or didn't want to hang out with them, but because I think it's good for kids to have that experience in a safe environment.  I could see them just fine from the window and I think the independence is great for them.

I know it's an unpopular view, but honestly I think as a society we've just gone totally crazy in overprotecting kids.  I don't mind things like bike helmets, where there's really no harm in wearing them and it doesn't take away from the fun of riding a bike.  But stationing a grownup every second at the side of kids even in their own yards or keeping them inside are things I think that have their own very real downsides.  There are dangers in the world, but there's a danger in hovering and not letting a kid grow up, as well.  The odds of a child being abducted by a stranger have been estimated to be about that of the child's being struck by lightning.  I think that's not worth not letting them play in their own yard for 5 minutes with mom just inside the door.

Answer 18

I totally agree with you.  A child should never be left outside unattended.  I'm not sure if there's an exact age I would go by, or the maturity of the child.  My niece is 11 and she was finally able to go ride her bike unattended at age 10!

Good for you for standing up to your mom.  It's a hard thing to do, as moms can make us feel like we don't know what we're talking about, but we live in a different day and time from when she raised her children!

Answer 19

You shouldn't leave a kid unsupervised until the kid is 12 years old. But you should be thankful to have a mom like that.

Answer 20

Unfortunately, I think YOU were right.  Your Mom comes from another generation, when children could play outside for hours and hours and parents didn't even wonder where they were until dinnertime.  Times have changed.  Just have your Mom watch Dateline a couple of times and she'll understand your fears and 'overprotectiveness'...you're right.

Answer 21

I think its too young. I'd not do it until the child was at least 7. I'm a military spouse and on base the rule is they have to be 5 to play at the playground and must be able to see the house (and you see them out of it). I've seen alot of 5 year olds out there playing, but I'm just not ready for that. At 7 I think they are big enough, maybe, but I still go outside with my kids (10, 8, 5) when they play. Better safe than sorry!

Answer 22

You were right in taking her in it only takes a second to abduct a child ...you sound like a great dad and a caring one too. However i think maybe you need to talk to your mother because i have seen this so many times not sure if it is this with her but it could be...It's sometimes a generation problem your mother might not realize that times have changed since she raised you and doesn't realize how much worse it is today and is caring for her grandkids in the same respect as she did you...when i was little it was fine to let the children play outdoors unattended because it wasn't as risky as it is today please try to talk to her in a civil manner and explain to her that today things are alot different than in her child rearing yrs. Tell mom you love her but that you have concerns about leaving your own daughter outside alone and why you do.

Answer 23

I completely agree with you.  Mom was raised in a different era.  The way the world is now, I am not sure when to leave children unattended.  Where I live, we just had an Amber Alert this morning for a 5 year old....luckily he was found.  I would just try to explain to her, things are different now...much different, unfortunately.  You did the right thing!

Answer 24

no a 5 yr old should not be left alone outdoors

Answer 25

If this is a busy city area, then I agree that your niece is too young to be left outside alone.   There are a lot of sick, crazy people out there today.   Your mother probably remembers the days when young children walked to school in big groups, and there was no parental supervision required.  She needs to know that things have changed a lot since those days!

My daycare provider has about six children who are at her house.  She arranged with the school district to have the school bus stop right at the end of her driveway, since she has so many kids at her house before and after school.   They all  (including my 6-year-old) stay right inside her front door until the bus stops at the end of her driveway, then they all walk out and get on the bus together.  Some of them are 9 or 10 years old, and we live in a safe neighborhood!

Answer 26

I feel the same as you.  My daughter is 3 1/2 and I wouldn't think of leaving her outside unattended, even for a quick minute.  You never know what can happen, or what the child may do, or who may come up to the child and interfere.  It's just a lot safer in my opinion to take the extra time to take the child in with you if you have to run back in the house for something.  That extra time could save a lot of possible heartache if something unfortunate were to happen.  I don't think your mom should have scolded the child, she should have made her frustrations about it known only to you instead, and not at all to the child.