How old should little boys be when the shouldn't see mommy naked anymore?

Question

My sons, who are 8 & 5 live regularly with their mom and she still undresses to nudity in front of them. At least she still was when I moved out 6 months ago. She's not being perverted or provocative but acts like it's normal or something. I don't remember my mom getting naked in front of me. They also take turns sleeping with her every night. And no, she doesn't put them back in their beds after they fall asleep. Is this behavior normal?

Answer 1

there is noting wrong with that but the age show be at age 3 to 5

Answer 2

well kids should stop seeing their mother naked as soon as they develop long term memory

Answer 3

Uh...No, whats wrong with her. Children start having memory at 2-5 years.

Answer 4

Socially, this is only an issue if it makes any party uncomfortable.  Children raised in other countries (Africa, China, Japan, France, Netherlands, etc) mostly see a TON more nudity than their American counterparts, and Mommy's no different.

CoSleeping is a personal parental choice, and is also common in other countries for various reasons.  

Why wouldn't you want to allow your sons some security while you're not there, right?  I'm assuming you share custody - would YOU deny them your bed at your place during a thunderstorm/bad dream, etc? Either way, it's fine.  Different houses, different rules, no biggie.

I'm a firm believer in children's rights, and I think you need to talk to your sons if you feel it's not right.  Listen to what they are saying, and how they feel.  Let the kids know where you stand, and based on the kids' reactions to the conversation, go to the ex and let her know where you stand and where the kids stand.

Personally? I would let the bed and cosleeping issue slide, and ask her to cover up if you're not comfortable with it - they're your kids too.

Answer 5

Well I can remember seeing my mom nude when I was real little, like four or five.  My daughter is five and I tell her to not look when I am nude.  So I would say five is an appropriate age, but I wouldn't freak out over the 8 year old, though you may suggest that she tells him to turn around or go in another room.  Probably should do it to both of them.  As for the sleeping in the same bed thing it needs to stop.  It's a hard habit to break, but it is not healthy for the child and it is more often for the mother's benefit.  We made that mistake with our daughter and we still haven't completely broken her of this habit.  We were smart enough not to start it with my son.  

Answer 6

the sleeping with her isn't a big deal, lots pf people co-sleep although the 8 yr old is a little old for that. The undressing is a big no no to me. I don't think boys should see their mother naked past age 3 when they start to notice and point out the differences. It's simply not appropriate. I would talk to her about how you feel on this.

Answer 7

I think there is a difference between a little girl seeing her father naked and a boy seeing his mother naked. I cant a explain why but i beleive it there is. As long as the 8 year old is not uncomfortable with it then i don't think its wrong. My mother still undress in front of me. I think it should stop soon if like she just undresses during a conversation or something, just becuase in the next couple years he will hit puberty and you don't want him to be embarrassed and a habit like this is hard to break but if he walks in on her or something that isn't her fault. The reason adults put so much thought in to it is becuase sexuality and the human body is such a taboo. There isn't anything sexual going in. Its a mother and the children she gave birth to. If you truly think there is something wrong going on then yes it needs to be stopped and reported but if you just think its awkward then there is nothing wrong with it. And when it comes to sleeping with her again if im home i sleep with my mom sometimes. There is a comfort in having your child close to you and also having a parent close to you as a child.

Answer 8

Two seperate issues.  The nudity should probably stop, as they are too old to see her nude.  The sleeping with her is detrimental to them and her.  It does not appear to be improper, just they are not being taught independence, nor how to fall asleep alone in their beds.  She also cannot be getting that great of sleep herself.  If you get along try to casually bring it up and say she might want to consider changing some things.  if you do not get along, she'll just get all crazy on you and dislike you more.  Good luck.  

Answer 9

I don't think so, I think they're getting too old now.

Answer 10

I am a mom of two boys (third due in a few weeks) and my boys are 3 and 6.  They still crawl into bed with me at night and I just get tired of putting them back in their beds so i just leave them be.  When i take a shower or something I will leave the bathroom unlocked (I shower after they are asleep at night) so that if they need to use the bathroom or something they can get in.  I know they have seen me naked because of that and they just walk out, no big deal.  As long as your boys aren't talking about it and making a big deal out of it or as long as she isn't making them watch her get naked I wouldn't worry about it.  Sometimes we just are so use to not having our privacy when we become moms that we forget and don't shut the door or whatever.  We don't do it to being doing it if you know what i mean.  At their age they don't have to be in the room with her so really if she is changing they could choose to walk away.  I would actually wonder more about that, why are they staying around to watch their mom get undressed when they can leave the room.  

Answer 11

yes it is, she is probably lonely but she can not take a teddy bear to bed and usually little children sleep in their parents bed until they are ten. i think they should not See their mom naked by age 9 because then your going into fourth grade and it would be like embarrassing. its normal for this behavior.

Answer 12

1 year. and they shouldnt be sleeping with her, call the police

Answer 13

I do believe there is a time not to get undressed in front of your son. But I am not in a position to tell you what age. But I also let my son sleep with me and his dad. He gets scared at night. I figure when he is old enough he will be too embarrassed too. But he is 7 and I don't let him see me naked.

Answer 14

Maybe not according to what our society portrays, but I think it is normal.  She feels comfortable around them.  They will probably grow up to be more respectful with women than other little boys who weren't aware of anything like this with their moms.  I grew up seeing my parents naked sometimes.  And I still occasionally do.  It's no big deal unless you make it one.

Answer 15

hahahhahahahhahahhaha

Answer 16

45

Answer 17

ew. i say 3 years old...tops.

Answer 18

Well, as long as she is NOT naked when she sleeps!!!! But, I think the 8 year old shouldn't be seeing her naked. I guess it's okay if she has a bra on and underwear. its not that big a deal.... but as long as she doesnt sleep naked, that would worry me......... tell her how u feel and that she should close the door... good luck hope i helped

PS- ask the kids how they feel about this.... and i think about 9 tops for kids seeing mom naked. but kids can NOT sleep with their mom naked! but its ok to sleep with her if she is fully clothed

PLEASE answer mine at http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

thanks!=]

Answer 19

for some families, yes this is normal.

i did the same thing, except my kids slept in their own beds... i can't share and don't like to be kicked in the face 1/2 of the night, to be quite honest... besides, my bedroom was my only source of privacy.

i suppose that, if and when our kids start acting uncomfortable or squeamish when we undress in front of them, it might be past time to be more modest.

i think my kids were 8 or 9 when i decided to become more private about things.

i'm sure your ex isn't a pervert... she's just comfortable with nudity.  many people are.

Answer 20

As the mother of three boys (17, 8, and 6), I feel confident in saying that when they stop feeling comfortable with seeing her naked they'll start letting her know. If doesn't stop at that point, then it's definitely a problem.

As long as they're still comfortable with it then why in the world would you want to MAKE them ashamed or feel uncomfortable by making a big deal out of it? There's nothing abnormal about this behavior at this age as long as they're all comfortable with it.

That said, I'd wager it won't be much longer until your 8 year old starts feeling uncomfortable with it. Mine started recently and I've told him that if he doesn't want to see me naked then perhaps he should learn to KNOCK. My 17 year old is very careful to knock and the 8 year old has begun to be. The 6 year old doesn't care at all yet.

The co-sleeping is fine at this age as well (I agree she should sleep in clothes, however).

Answer 21

It is fine for your sons to see your ex-wife naked when they are young. When they learn what all those parts are and know that it isn't right to be naked in public then they shouldn't see her naked anymore. They may think it is ok to do it in public and tell everyone. I think your 5 year old should be fine for now, but your 8 year old shouldn't see this.

It isn't fair to the kids that she has them sleeping with her all night. This causes insecurity and can cause problems in the future, like they won't want to leave you or your ex-wife at all. Meaning it will be hard for them to go to school by their selves. She should have them sleep in their beds every night. She can read them a story or tuck them in and lay with them for about 5-10 mins, but she shouldn't be sleeping with them all night. It just isn't fair.

Hope I helped!

;)

Answer 22

Yeah, they're too old to be seeing their mother nude anymore. Maybe she's just gotten so used to it since they've been little that it doesn't really cross her mind? I don't know if your sons don't really think about it because they see it as normal, but she does need to stop (and she probably doesn't even realize she's doing anything wrong, nor does she mean anything by it), because I'm sure as your sons get older, they are going to feel uncomfortable and I'm sure she won't want that. As to them still sleeping with her, maybe she just likes to have her kids close, but I would say that they are too old for that, too. I would just try to talk to her about it, for the kids' well-being, and try not to make her feel bad. If you present this in the wrong way, she might feel embarassed or like you think she's being a bad mother. I'd just try to talk nicely to her about it and maybe ask her to have them go into another room, or she can. Good luck with everything!

Answer 23

I can promise you, that is not only unnatural/not normal, but IS damaging, even if she is totally "innocent" in her behavior...

TOPS, a child who is considered a "toddler" should no longer being seeing mom or dad nude. Realistically, I would say even a year is a bit old. For me, I get dressed when my kids are LOCKED OUT of whatever room I'm in because personally, what benefit is there in them seeing that? NONE. What damage could result-plenty! Honestly, nudity may be natural, but so is s*x, death, and other things that are disturbing and unhealthy for a child to view.

Add: She may not realise what she's doing, but I feel like she's replaced healthy relationships she's had with adult men with her boys. It's actually common but none the less, is destructive. These are little kids and need to have their innocence maintained as long as possible. Seeing a naked woman (it's irrelevant who it is) at this age is just plain wrong and not beneficial/healthy.

As far as bed sharing, that is another issue... I think it's ok, but only if the child NEEDS comfort-not mommy needing comfort. I think the dynamic here is WAY screwy!

Answer 24

I'd say by age 3 a kid needs to leave the room when the parent gets changed esp at age 8. That's just weird in my opinion. With staying in the room with her at night may have something to do with security since your not in the house anymore. That I wouldn't put to much thought into, but the whole undressing in front of the boys is a bit off.  

Answer 25

Well I actually think it is okay because the body is something that we all have.  Let her continue to do it until she feels uncomfortable with doing so.  Teach your children that the body is just a body and it is what we all have.

Answer 26

oh my God! eight and five are way to old, like 2 years old tops-  Every single human being has vivid memories of those ages- who wants to remember seeing mom naked all the time. My boyfriend accidentially saw his mom naked when he was 7 and is still freaked out about it.  They should be sleeping in their own beds to- they should be falling asleep in their own beds also!  this is some serious stuff that you need to put a stop to!  

Answer 27

I certainly did not act as though it was a big deal if my son saw me naked when he was young. I am pretty sure he saw my boobies plenty of times when he was young. While I certainly did not prance around naked in front of him when he was a teen, I did not hide it or make him feel ashamed if he happened to see me naked. It was more like an "oops".....Nudity was never considered a shameful thing in my house. It is pretty "natural"......

Answer 28

Well, the naked thing, Kids will not want to see their mom naked anymore! & Kids sleep with their moms. I slept with my mom until I was nine. Nothing wrong with it. But, eventually the kids won't want to see mommy naked.