How old was your child when you explained s*x?

Question

My son is 8 and to my knowledge he knows nothing. I don't want to tell him early and get him freaked out, but I don't want to tell him to late.

Answer 1

You should start explaining s*x and puberty as soon as he shows interest or confusion about body issues. This probably won't be very far in the future, as he's bound to hear something at school or on TV that relates to s*x or relationships.

My parents did not explain s*x to me; I learned the biological "birds and the bees" and stuff about female puberty, pregnancy, etc from a presentation in fifth grade, and learned what intercourse was a couple years later.

So, I would guess that ten would be a good age to start, or just before he enters middle school.

Answer 2

I haven't told my daughter yet.. she is 9! I tell her enough to get by. She knows about Periods and girl stuff... and you need s*x to make a baby.. but.. HAS NO IDEA what s*x is! I am guessing I will need to sit down this year and let her know.

Answer 3

He will ask you when he wants to know. My three kids were all different ages when they started asking questions, or just acting confused about something in a movie or on TV. Make sure when he does ask that you give him the least info possible. Let him lead the way on this. If he asks you a question you are not ready to answer tell him it is an important question and you want to think about it. Then get your thoughts together and sit down with him in private to answer. But do not put it off more than 24 hours or you will give him the message that he can't count on you when he needs you.

Answer 4

I told my son when he was 9.And he already knew some stuff!I would ask him what he knows and if he has any questions about it,if he does,tell him what the answer is.Hope this helps.                                                                                                                     Don't be afraid to ask him.you never know he might already know some stuff.

Answer 5

At eight he may or may not know about it.  I think its about the right time to start talking to him, but you dont need to get into too much detail.  Start by asking him what he already knows, you'll probably be pretty surprised.

Answer 6

He's only eight i was 5 when i knew.

Tell him now.

Answer 7

My son is 5.  I only explain things to an extent and to his level of understanding.  It really helps me because I just build on the concept as he asks more questions.

For example, he knew how he was born and the anatomy of a mom when he was 3 and 4.  This year, his cat got spayed, and I had to explain that she couldn't have kittens.  I also had to explain that to have a baby, you need a daddy.  He is fine with this answer.

When he asks more, I will tell more.  I don't think there is need to spill it all on a kid at one time, that can be a lot of information.  But at the same time, when he asks me a question, I don't lie to him.  I tell him, because he needs to know.

Haha... The other day, he asked me the real name for a boy and girls pee spot.  I surprised myself that, without flinching, I said "You have a p***s and girls have a v****a.  p***s and v****a."  He repeated after me and left satisfied with his new knowledge.

I think it depends not on age of the child, but how inquisitive they are about it.  I suppose also how open you are with them about things.

Ooooh, and about being 8...  You'd be surprised at what kids picked up when they are in school, though its mostly tidbits that get them wondering.

Answer 8

you need to explain it to them by the time they are ten because so many kids are having s*x at a young age.

Answer 9

you don't tell a child that age about s*x itself.

talking about s*x is something that should start at a young age and then you add more details as the child gets older. It starts by them learning the difference between a boy and a girl. Over the years they learn about where babies come from, puberty, and how babies are made. You use age appropriate language.

At age 8 I would start by talking about the differences between boys and girls bodies and you can even use a book with drawings. Talk about how a baby grows in the mommy's uterus (always try to use the correct words...a baby doesn't grow in the mommy's tummy...that is where food goes). You can even go as far as to talk about how a daddy has sperm and a mommy has an egg and when they get together in the mommy's body they make a baby. You answer all their questions as honestly as possible giving age appropriate details.

when my son asked me how the sperm gets there with the egg I said "God made a mans body and a woman's body so that they fit together like a puzzle and when a mommy and a daddy have s*x they put their bodies together to make the puzzle complete and then the sperm finds the egg inside the mommy.

My twins are 13 and they know everything there is to know including about g*y s*x and diseases and protection and masterbation...you name it, they know it. They are already into puberty and nothing they have encountered has been a surprise because they knew early on what was going to happen with their bodies.

Answer 10

When my kids ask questions I answer them. I was surprised when my 2 year old asked what a mommy did if she didn`t want a baby tummy. I told her the doctor gave her medicine.

Answer 11

It's okay to start talking about how a baby is made now.  Explain it more with science than with physical interaction.  Start small and allow him to ask questions or tell you what he already knows.  This way, you can clear up misconceptions and allow your conversation to be guided by his current understanding and knowledge.

My brother at age 6 was being naughty.  He came up to my friend (we were 15/16) and he said, "I want to have s*x with you."  He'd heard this somewhere and was repeating it back.  I was shocked.  I remember asking him if he even knew what s*x was.  He started giggling and told me its when I guy sticks his private parts in a girl's mouth or in between her b*****s.  

Not trying to be super descriptive... but my point is this... he may not quite know what s*x is, but he'll have some type of idea.  It's highly possible that the idea he has is WRONG.  Its good to start a dialogue and clear up misconceptions.  You can also add in your values and morals into the conversation, whether it be waiting until marriage, treating women with respect, ect ect.

Answer 12

My son was 9. There are many great age approriate books out there that you could read together. It makes it a little easier. Good luck.

Answer 13

You don´t tell your son about s*x, you tell him how one cell meets another, or in other words, just be scribe the body's function, then you will not traumatize him. The next time; start to talk about the body around the age of 3!

Answer 14

First off he has some knowledge of what s*x is, either he has heard it from peers, or the media. He just simply won't bring it up with you because he's embarassed. Maybe sit him down and ask him what he thinks s*x is, if tells you the basics of it, then leave it at that. If he doesnt answer or honestly doesn't know if I were you I would explain that s*x is between a man and woman and it involves the male inserting his p***s into the female's v****a, sperm goes up the vaginal canal and 9 months later a baby is born; after that don't go into to much detail unless he asks you questions. My friends daughter came to me when she was 10 and she asked me what puberty was, what she should expect during puberty and if I thought she was going through puberty; I told her puberty is when a kid's body transitions into an adult's body. I told her that during puberty she will grow b*****s, devleop pubic hair on her v****a, and she will have her period. She then asked me what a period is and I told her that it's when the egg comes down the vaginal canal once every 28 days to meet sperm and if there's no sperm the egg is washed out by bleeding for a few days. Back to your son; just be honest and let him dictate the pace of what he's about to learn from you, theres nothing to worry about, he's at that age where he should know what s*x is, and it's best he hears it from you then let's say the media or a peer and gets the wrong info which would freak him out even worse. Good luck.

Answer 15

drop little hints like (if you see a baby) "i remember when u were a baby" and start getting on the subject of how babies are made. dont tell him all at once, let him come to u. but you also want to tell him before he hears it from his friends. because his friends most likely do not know all about it either.

Answer 16

My mom told me about periods and thats it. The rest i learned from TV...BAD IDEA and friends WOST IDEA! You have some good answers i wouldnt tell him about s*x itself like men getting hard and how good it feels. Just tell him small bits about how babies are made. Go to a book store and find a VERY kid friendly book.