How old where you when you first had kids?? When would you say that the best age range is to have them?

Question

My Boyfriend and I have been together a long time, and have been thinking about the future and getting our own place. We both really, really want kids at a younger age, but we know that now is not the time.

The reason I ask is because all my cousins, and my boyfriend's cousins are either pregnant or going to give birth soon. My boyfriend and I are both 19, so is my cousin who has had a baby girl, and so is his cousin who had a baby boy a few days ago.

I just need some re-assurance that we arent going to be that couple that has their first child at 40 or something, and that I'm right in saying that I am too young for a child.

Thanks if you read or answered x x

Answer 1

I know that alot of people have kids... but I am 25 yrs old and just had a baby... I am married and secure with my husband and our baby was planned... I would suggest to enjoy your life I am young too and its soo much wrk! You dont have time to do anything this little person takes all of your time.. travel and have fun finish school dont rush just relax and enjoy life! :-)  

Answer 2

HAVE KIDS WHEN YOU'RE READY.  This isn't just emotionally, it's financially too.  Kids are a HUGE responsibility in ALL ways, and very expensive.  They are a joy to have, but let me tell you, they drain the money out of you like a vacuum lol:)  

My mom had me when she was 20 (married Dad when she was 17, lol), and my dad's mom had him when she was 19.  However, I know a woman who had her second baby at 44.  I know a woman about to have her fourth at 37.  There are young mothers, old mothers, and somewhere in between.

Don't let other people tell you when you can or cannot have babies, it's a decision you and the husband make, it's very personal:)  And there's nothing necessarily WRONG with having a baby at 40, it's just easier to start RELATIVELY young, but not TOO young, because you need to be sure you can handle it.  

If you are both 19, I'd say wait a few years, when you have some more experience under your belt, not to mention some more money and a more substantial career.  

Bye! xxxxx

Answer 3

i dont have any...nor will i ever  

Answer 4

i had my daughter at 17 and its not as hard as older people say , how would they know? its harder having a kid at 40 then 18 , older mums have lesss energy , less fun and less enthusiasm! oh and im 22 now and still with my daughters father, we still really love eachother and are good friends too!!

Answer 5

I got married at 18 and got pregnant about 4 months after. Now I find myself still married to my wonderful husband for 8 years and we are expecting our 4th monkey in October.

It's really hard to say a good age to have kids, because it can turn out so many ways. Just because you have kids early doesn't mean you will ruin your life or your child's, you can wait and be older and things could still turn out how you never expected.

In my case and in my opinion, I think I would have liked to wait until now to start having kids. Waiting 'till you are about 25 could give you time to enjoy being an adult, enjoy a good education and job. If by that time you still feel that you would like to wait, then that's cool! Only you and your man can say if you guys feel ready.

At least wait 'till you guys turn 21, like that you guys will be able to do so many more things than now. You guys can go out to clubs, drink, and have fun.

I think that the way you and your boyfriend are thinking about it is very responsible.... Awesome :)

Answer 6

i was 33 when i had my son you are young yet you have time.

Answer 7

I believe that you should be in stable relationship for ATLEAST 5+ years.

You need to be sure that you are rock solid before you commit to parenthood with one another.

My partner and i have been together since we were 14 years old, we are 21 now and had our first child at 18. Our daughter wasn't planned but if i could have planned her i would have waited till we had a mortgage,we were married and we had experienced EVERYTHING in life.

Having a child is one of the most difficult things you will ever experience. your boyfriend's cousins aren't going to have this wonderful life that you envy, they are going to have sleepless nights, lack of freedom and lack of money.

At your age your boyfriend and you can look forward to holidays abroad, getting your first flat together and building your lives together, so that ONE DAY you can provide the PERFECT home for your little ones.

you are definitley too Young for a child, there is soooooo much to look forward to, having a baby now will put a stop to your youth, and you will NEVER get that back!!

I'm 21 and my life is about, working,cooking,and cleaning and paying the bills. Other people my age are travelling,going shopping,clubbing and having fun.

A baby can wait but having fun can't.

Answer 8

I was 22 when I had my first, But i was 36 when i had my last and I know i had more time and patience with the last baby.

Answer 9

im 20 and my husband is 28 we have a 5 month old baby boy. yeah i am young but it depends on how the couple is first.

get a place live together for a year then get married wait a year or 2. then when you know you can afford diapers, wipes, soap, lotion, bottles, formula, clothes, crib, stroller, etc and etc. then your ready!

and when you have a baby..... get a costco card! it saves us money buying in bulk!

good luck and wait!

Answer 10

I don't think anyone is ever "financially ready" to have children... I had my first daughter at 18 and my second at 22. I am now 26 and trying for our last child. My husband is 2 years younger than me and was 16 when our first was born! We have been together now for 9 years! We have had our hard times but I wouldn't change anything! I think of it like this.... I had my children young therefor I have many many years to be with them and one day my grandchildren! I can go the park for the day and enjoy myself with them! I can take them to the amusement park and not get tired! We can enjoy each others company because I am younger.

I think that when you feel you are ready then it doesn't matter what others think. We had to hear a lot of grief from our parents as well as other people from having them so young. But we did it and still to this day have not needed their help.

Don't worry about what others say if you do it now they will say you were too young. If you do it at 30 then they will say you are too old. It is all about when the two of you feel it is right!!!

Good luck to both of you and I wish you all the luck in the world!!!!

Answer 11

I had my first at 22 my last at 31.They all left home early around 17 and have done extremely well for themselves and my husband and I can come and go as we please while we still feel quite full of life.We all share a common interest in the same music.I like the fact that we can relate to them because there isn't too huge a gap.

Each to their own.Some of us have life thrust upon us.Others have the chance to plan.You make the most of the hand your dealt.

Answer 12

Believe me when they are at home with a baby all the time and have no money and you are out enjoying life you will know you have done the right thing. Having a child is much easier on you and your partner if you have had made a great life for yourselves first.

Answer 13

i'm pregnant with my first, and i'm 18. i believe you should have children when you are emotionally and financially sound. also i do believe that you should either be engaged or married to the person with whom you decide to have children.

Answer 14

Ive always been taught:

Get an education

Get a career

Get married

Then have a family.  

Answer 15

You are right in saying that you are too young. For me in this day in age it means getting at least  masters degree, being married for at least 3 years, and have a decent paying job. That would put me at 27. In my opinion late 20s are a good time to have kids.

Answer 16

Well my brothers girlfriend is pregnant with their first baby and she's 17 and my brother's 20.  

Answer 17

I had my first when I was 19.

The only person that can make the decision is you, its your body and your life.

Lots of people like having their kids younger. So when they grow up, they can go on vacations and everything.

Some people prefer to fulfill their dreams first. Go to college, travel and party!

What ever you think is best for you. I would wait until you are for sure you are in a stable relationship and can afford your child.

Good luck!

Answer 18

I was 32 and my gf 25. I think the optimum age is early 20s, as this is when you are fittest and you will still be young when they grow up.

Answer 19

Get your own place.

Travel.

Work.

Get financially stable.

Have kids at 30.

Answer 20

well i had my first son at 17 ya i no omg teenage pregnancy boo me no ,no seriously i am still with the father nw my husband and have two more children iso i n o alot of people wont agree with me but i think age has nothing to do with it ,its when your ready to make that commitment  i no people who are 30 and not ready so i'd say when ever you feel ready thats the right time

Answer 21

around 30 years old as you should be financially secure and in a good meaningful relationship

Answer 22

Look I haven't lost the weight from either of my kids. But it is worth it. The best age is 40. You appreciate them more and are still in good shape. It is very physically demanding. I am a guy by the way.  

Answer 23

I was 27 when I had my first child and I would say that it was a really good age because I was mature and ready to commit myself to staying at home with her.

Answer 24

I had my first at 33. I think between late 20's and early 30's is a good age range. By that time you are out of collage and hopefully in a stable job. It is best to try living together on your own for awhile before bringing a baby into the picture.  

Answer 25

i think u gotta fit it around your life plan? i mean you're 19? i assume u want to get married and live together so that plus 3 years, any kind of career for a while plus 2 years (add on 3 years for uni etc).. just that sort of thing, mid to late twenties is the norm though