How pathetic does this make me? <span title="(Cutting/Harassment/Depression)?">(Cutting/Harassment/Depre...</span>

Question

(I'm sixteen for those who want to know) In real life I'm severely depressed. As it is, I have no one to talk to. My parents are divorced and I live with my mother. I don't talk to my father because we've never been close enough to talk about personal things. I don't talk to my mother because of this one time she deeply disappointed me. (More or less. The age old story. My step father sexually harassed me. I told my mother. She asked him about it and he denied everything. She believed him. It wasn't until I got the police involved all by myself that he admit what he did and my mother finally believed me.) As it is, I don't talk to my mother anymore. When I do its cheerful and polite, but almost fake really.

I have friends to talk to I suppose. A lot of the people I talk to for support are people I met online. (Like this site.) My real life friends usually aren't very understanding. My friends that are understanding don't know how to help me.

As well I should mention that I cut. Well, I don't know if it's considered cutting.. I kinda like.. only use my fingernails? I've used actual blades on occasion but I stopped. Blades aren't a concern to me. More or less, I scratch my skin, or pinch it with my nails until it's bleeding. I've done this for years. I have many scars that I hate. I'm starting to think I have OCD. I can't stop, literally. I've been trying for over a year. I can not physically or mentally stop myself from scratching.

What I'm saying really, Is that I have no one to talk to. I resort to sites like this just to find support. I'm running out of things to do to try and help myself.

I'm asking though. Just what should I do to get better? (Don't say something like "Stop cutting". It's not that easy. I want to stop and have been trying to. I keep failing. I don't know what to do to make sure I don't fail.)

Answer 1

I don&#039;t have the medical skills to answer this question. Seriously though, you should go see a doctor and/or the a therapist. Best of luck.

And no, you are not pathetic. Everyone has issues, and just because you cut yourself does not mean you are a pathetic person. It just means you need help.  

Answer 2

your not pathetic, you&#039;ve just been through a lot of very upsetting stuff and its manifesting itself through the cutting.  You need to see a therapist and be completely honest with them.  good luck!

Answer 3

You&#039;re NoT pathetic. Either that, or both of us are.

I&#039;m in my forties. When I was a teen, I cut myself and actually beat myself up a couple of times.

I do have OCD. I often roam my hands on my arms, legs and face and look for any kind of bump that I can dig at, and I will tear until they bleed.

I am horribly ashamed. I see the scars on my face, and I feel very ugly and worthless.

I just don&#039;t believe you or me really are worthless people. I believe we are basically good people who need help with coping skills.

I put myself into a day treatment program at the hospital. I had good insurance then. If you don&#039;t have insurance, you might want to look up your county&#039;s health and human services and ask them for some resources of people that can help you if you&#039;re low on funds.

I have to pray an awful lot for help. I still don&#039;t trust myself and still feel like I will continue to hurt myself because I am compelled.

It&#039;s also hard for people to understand why I am intelligent enough to know what I&#039;m doing, but not able to talk myself out of it. Being smart does not necessarily make one rational.

Good luck. I&#039;ll say some prayers for you.  

Answer 4

same way someone with blades helps themselves quit: remove the tools you use to cut.

You might not like doing it, but weigh up the benefits: cut yours nails to 1mm(or less) in length, so you are physically unable to scratch yourself.

The failing is ok, sweet pea. It happens to all of us, don&#039;t give it a second thought. What matters is that you are trying again, and again, and not giving up - THAT is what will make the difference in the end. We all slip back into old ways, when we are trying to change. Keep picking yourself up: that is where it counts.

Someone told me recently, about the Sargent Major we all have in our heads - that voice that yells at you to get up off the floor and keep going.

When you feel like you&#039;ve failed again and can&#039;t bear the thought of it, find your Sargent Major and let him rip, til you&#039;re up off the ground and back on track. It helps. :)

May you always get up one more time than you fall down.

Answer 5

You need a doctor who can refer you to a psychologist, counselor, or psychiatrist.  There is help out there.  The only problem is that you are underage (you need to be 18 to take yourself to the doctor).  At 16, you will have to have a parent&#039;s or guardian&#039;s consent.  I know you have very little relationship with either parent and that makes for a sticky situation.  Do you have any grandparents?  A pastor at church?  A school counselor or teacher (school probably hasn&#039;t started yet, but one you&#039;ve trusted in the past)?  Somehow you need some meds for depression, some cognitive therapy to help you deal with issues that distress you, and some meds for potential OCD.  Being depressed can make you feel alone; and feeling alone can make you depressed.  It&#039;s a vicious thing!  Try to find someone you can rely on.  A friend&#039;s parents, someone, anyone.  I know you&#039;re trying by going online and I applaud you for that, but we can only give you our opinions here.  You need someone who is actually there.  Think hard.... and come back and talk to us again anytime.

Answer 6

I went thought severe anxiety and depression. Actually I&#039;m still on it; i just got released from hospital a month ago. What you need to do is tell your GP or doctor and they can put you on an anti-depressant like fluxotine. It really does help and i used to scratch my wrists until they bled and it was such satisfaction to see myself do that. I felt happy that i could bring myself pain. i tried to kill myself by taking an overdose and when that couldnt work i tried to through myself in front of a car; but the guilt of invovling someone inoccent for my own sake was very off putting so i didnt. You need help and someone to talk to.

If you need any help email me on [e-mail]  

Answer 7

heres the thing.

i was like you but your is more of self-deteoriation.

mine was and still is more low self esteem and eating disorder.

it was hard coz telling someone would lead to attention and

the mis-understanding of my friends.

i actually til this day have never spoken about this to them

except to strangers like on websites.

it was mind-bottling in the worst way ever to exist. im 15 btw.

email me: [e-mail]

hope i help :)